The Beginning in the End
by JustSunny
Summary: Ana signed Christian's contract the night after her graduation. Now, three months later Christian wants to propose some changes for their new contract, but things go very differently from the way he expected them to... AU/OOC/HEA/NO CHEATING
1. Chapter 1

_**Hi ladies... I know, I shouldn't be posting anything new with three unfinished stories, but this scene kept popping up in my head for weeks now making it impossible to concentrate on writing anything else... so I decided to write this scene as a One Shot.**_

 _ **Much like the Mile High Club, I might turn this into a full story once I have more time to write, but for now I really need to go back and concentrate on my other stories...**_

 _ **This is my twist on the popular "What if Ana had signed the contract" storyline...**_

* * *

 _ **Christian**_

I stare at the new contract laid out in front of me. Hoping that Ana will agree to the changes I have made. This could go either way. Truth be told, as elated as I was when she signed the contract after her graduation, I still had my doubts whether or not Ana could be submissive. Yet, she has been the best sub I ever had, following all my rules without failure.

Still, sometimes I do find myself missing her smart mouth and our little e-mails banters. Though, I cannot fault her for that as she knows it would lead to immediate punishment... come to think of it, there haven't been many punishments in the last three months. Only in terms of her training to lift her tolerance for pain, though we haven't reached the heavy shit yet. Just spanking, a bit of paddling and wax play, along with some improvised playing when I spanked her with a ruler in the balls room and a spatula in the kitchen, but she is learning and not complaining or safe wording at all.

In addition, there is the fact that her roommate is still dating my brother, and is aware that we are seeing each other. Therefore, I had to make some adjustments in the form of double dates with Ana and them, but I have come to enjoy them a great deal, which is why I made these changes to the contracts.

Our families already believe we are a normal couple and just the weekends are no longer doing it for me. No, I want to lose myself in Anastasia every day of the week and that is why I will propose to her to move in with me full time and that our contract will run without a timely constriction. I want her TPE 24/7. I want to come home in the evening having her ready and waiting for me in the playroom... hell even just knowing that she will be home waiting for me would be enough. Even on the weekends we haven't just fucked in the playroom.

I smile thinking about five weeks ago when I fucked her on every flat surface and against most of the walls of the penthouse until she fell asleep while I was still inside her. _Yeah... I want that every day._

Once she lives here, I can sneak into her room in the morning for wake up sex every day or order her to suck me off under the desk when I have to work some extra hours in my study at night. _Oh that mouth..._

At first, I thought about ordering her to quit her job, so she can solely cater to my needs, but the more rational part of me knows that this is not going to happen. She loves her job and even if we no longer have a clear time frame for our arrangement in place, I know it will end one day and she needs to be able to provide for herself when that happens.

Plus, I wouldn't have bought SIP if it wasn't for her working there. I knew there was something fishy about her boss, which is why I had her swap jobs with the only male assistant at SIP. Hyde wasn't pleased at all to find that Ana was no longer his assistant, but that fucker knew better than to piss off the new boss. All the while I had my men investigate to see why one guy had eleven assistants in less than three years.

Turns out the fucker harassed them and even sexually assaulted three of them. Now, he is waiting for his trial in jail. Ros and PR managed to keep all of that from the press, no need to have GEH connected to shit like that and SIP is doing a lot better ever since we took over. Ana has a good future there, so I won't make her quit.

After all, I'm working too, so she would have to spend my working hours alone at Escala probably bored out of her mind, so her working too is not a bad thing.

Checking my e-mails I find a new one from Elena, but ignore it. She is pissed to say at least and she told me in no uncertain ways that I am making a mistake by having Ana move in with me fulltime. Deep down, I know she is just pissed, that I finally found a sub that might be compatible with me and it wasn't her who picked her out for me. Elena doesn't like Ana and she doesn't even try to hide it.

One Saturday she stopped by and found Ana and I having dinner at the breakfast bar talking animatedly about the trip to Bainbridge Island we took that afternoon with Elliot and Kate. Elena thought I was treating Ana like an equal and it pissed me off so much that I ordered Ana to sit at my feet where I fed her, her dinner while Elena took her seat, seemingly satisfied with me taking on my Dom persona. Still, she believes I am not strict enough with Ana and we had a few rather heated arguments about it.

Elena's way of getting my submission was vicious. She would dish out the meanest punishments for even the slightest infraction, leaving me scared and too afraid to ever repeat what I had done to upset her. I know trying this with Ana is only going to drive her away from me, something I don't even want to think about. In addition, I don't see why I can't have a normal conversation with her or get out of character from time to time because we are having fun.

Christ, she is just a twenty one, and this is the first relationship with a man she ever had. I want it to be enjoyable for her too. I want her to laugh and enjoy herself when it is appropriate. I frown when I think about Ana's beautiful giggle. I haven't heard it in a while, in fact she seemed a little lost in the last couple of weeks, but I didn't allow myself to put too much thought into it, because even if we are already three months into our contract, she is still adjusting to the lifestyle and I trust her to tell me if there is something bothering her... so maybe it is nothing.

"Sir?" Taylor appears at the entrance of my study and I motion for him to continue.

"The interior designer is ready. Do you wish to inspect Miss Steele's room now?" He asks and I nod.

"Thank you Taylor." I mutter and walk upstairs. I want Ana's transition into moving in with me fulltime to go smoothly. I already had Caroline Acton deliver a complete new wardrobe for Ana, Gail stocked up the pantry with her favorite foods and I have a desk set up in the library for her, so she can use it as her study. I also had a sex swing and some other new things installed in the playroom for us, so we can celebrate her move tonight, but the masterpiece is the subs room.

Until now the furniture has always been the same and I only allowed my subs to decorate it after their liking. Having seen Ana's room at her apartment a few times, I know her taste in furniture is completely different than mine, so I wanted to give her one room that is more after her liking. I secretly snapped many pictures of her bedroom on my phone and mailed them to my interior designer, so now the subs room looks just like Ana's bedroom... or at least I hope it does.

Stepping inside I am pleasantly surprised with how well it turned out. It looks exactly like Ana's bedroom... only the furniture was way more expensive than what she had before. _Only the best for my girl._

Now all that needs to happen is that she signs the new contract and then we can get the rest of her belongings tomorrow and she can finally move in for good. No more waiting for the weekends or ordering her to my office in the middle of the week for a quick fuck in-between meetings. _Though on second thought I most likely will still do that..._

Involuntarily my mind drifts back to one afternoon in late July. I was really fucking pissed when a deal I was working on for three months had gone down hill and was in desperate need for some relieve. So, I called Ana and ordered her to come to my office wearing nothing but high heels and a coat. She arrived at my office as soon as she was done with work that day and I wasn't pleased at all to find that she was wearing underwear when I specifically ordered for her to naked under her coat. For a second I was tempted to take my belt off and use it to punish her with, but I restraint myself and spanked her instead, reminding myself that she wasn't ready for a harsh punishment like that.

As soon as I saw her perfect ass pink and warm from my hand I felt a lot better and the rest of the evening was spent with me fucking her against every flat surface in my office until all thoughts of the lost deal had gone away.

Checking my watch, I see that it is almost time for Ana to arrive, so I quickly change and just when I leave my bedroom again I hear the ping of the elevator and Ana steps out of it.

She is dressed in a white knitted dress, black leggings and boots, her hair open and glossy falling all the way down to her hips, swinging with every move she does.

"Good afternoon, Sir." She says in a small voice and looks at her feet.

"You may look at me, Anastasia." I reply and she does. _Fuck, every time those blue orbs meet my eyes it's like she can see right through me..._

"I have the new contract ready; please follow me, Miss Steele." I say and lead her into my study, where she waits until I tell her to sit down.

"Ana, please forget about the rules for now, after all as long as you haven't signed you are technically not my sub." I tell her with a smile and I watch her transform instantly. She looks at me directly, sits more relaxed and still there is something different... I just can't figure out what it is.

"Christian, I need to tell you something." She says and suddenly I have this bad feeling... no conversation that starts out with a sentence like that ends well.

"Ok, go ahead." _Shit why am I nervous now?_

"For the last three months, I have tried my best to be what you need."

"You are what I need, Ana. I didn't think it would work out, but you are the best sub I ever had." I quickly reply, she needs to know that.

"Maybe, but at what personal cost? I haven't felt like myself ever since I have signed that contract. I won't lie and say that there is nothing about the lifestyle that is for me. Maybe deep down I am submissive... just ... just not all the time or even at all outside the bedroom." _Shit she is not going to sign... do something Grey, quick!_

"Ana, you are a good submissive; you've done so well please just listen to what I have to say."

"No... I can't. Christian when I signed the contract, I thought... or maybe it was just wishful thinking... but I hoped you would eventually change, instead I changed... and I don't like the person I have become. And there were things I never signed up for, that made me feel so belittled, humiliated and ashamed of myself that I have spent so many nights crying myself to sleep and I don't want that. I just want to be happy, Christian and I want to be with someone who actually has enough empathy to see that I am not ok, without me having to spell it out for him."

"Why didn't you tell me? I told you that we have to be open and communicate or else this wouldn't work." I say, getting defensive.

"When? When did we ever have an open discussion like this, Christian?" She replies her tone getting as defensive as mine and I close my eyes to calm down. _Be calm, Grey... you can still turn this around._

"Ana, you could have asked for an open discussion at any time." I say softy, but I can tell from the look on her face that me being calm is not helping.

"I don't want to play the blame game, Christian. I just need to be honest and the truth is that I was in love with you the second I laid eyes on you and I was prepared to do whatever it takes to be with you... but I just can't do it anymore. I love you, Christian, but after being with you for three months, I had to realize that love is not what you want. You enjoy the type of relationships you have, but for me it will never be enough. I mean, most Sundays you simply dismiss me, no goodbye, no I'm going to miss you and then I go home and see Kate and Elliot, and it's like showing me everything that I ever wanted and that I will never have with you." She says, but I'm still reeling from her revelation. _Love... fuck... she can't love me. I'm not loveable or capable of loving her back... but she goes on..._

"I want to be with someone who loves me too, who eventually wants to marry and have kids. I was hoping that by some miracle I could make you love me too, that by doing whatever you want, you would eventually love me too and our relationship would evolve into a normal relationship... but I guess I was stupid and naive... or I'm just not the one for you."

 _And I know next will she will say her peace... shit, I don't want to hear it._

"I can't sign a new contract, Christian. I came here today to say goodbye... because I know if I don't do this now, I will lose myself completely and eventually resent you for it. That's not what I want. I want to remember you for all the good memories we've made in the last three months... for the moments when we've been just Ana and Christian and not Dominant and submissive. Everything you've given me in the last three months is in the car in the garage." She says and places the car keys on my desk.

"Ana, it's your car and everything I have given you is yours too." I tell her horrified that she wants to give me everything back... if she had spat in my face it wouldn't have been more devastating.

"No, it's not. I accepted the car because that was what you expected of me and I didn't want to spent the night of my graduated with a sore behind, but I never intended to keep anything in case... well if things would come to this." She says swallowing hard.

"You need a car to go to work." I point out.

"I will buy a car with the money you gave me from selling my old car... and since we are already talking about work, I hope you are okay with me keeping my job until I have found something else." She says and I have to get up and start to pace... she is cutting all ties... fuck!

"Ana, the only reason I have bought SIP is because you work there and it was failing. Now, it has a future and you have a future there. Ros is handling it, so it's not like we will run into each other if that is why you want to quit. Please at least keep your job." I find myself begging and I don't do begging... shit right now I would crawl over broken glass if it would make her stay.

"I'll think about it. I guess this is it then." She says and gets up.

"You don't have to leave now, please at least have dinner with me." I get out in a rush, panicking at the thought that this is the last time we will see each other... if she leaves, this is it.

"I can't... goodbye Christian." She says and I see tears building in her eyes as she steps closer and presses a soft kiss to my lips.

"Ana." I breathe not sure what to say... how to make this right. Maybe if I tell her that I love her... no she would know it's a lie. And while I am still contemplating what to do to make her stay I hear her retrieving foot steps. Hurrying after her I see her step into the elevator.

"Ana please..."

"Goodbye." She whispers just as the doors close and I just stand there in the foyer, rooted to the spot not knowing what to do.

She left... fuck, and I let her. I should have stopped her, demanded for her to sign the contract and move in with me... or just ask her to move in with no contract at all. We could have still used the playroom, right?

No, she is right it would have never worked out... and all because I'm a monster, not worthy of love or capable of loving anyone...

 _ **Ana**_

Keep walking, Ana... just keep walking. You are doing this for him. It's the only way. I keep telling myself as I walk through the streets of Seattle trying only to focus on my destination, which is a small diner a few blocks away. As long as I keep my mind as blank as possible, I can get through this.

When I finally reach my destination, I slip into a booth and order a coffee. _She_ is late... figures that she would take her sweet time to give me more time to suffer here all alone with my thoughts.

Ten long minutes later she slips into the booth opposite me. I hate her, I fucking hate her guts and I want to hurt her too, but I can't. I have to remain silent and get this over with for Christian.

"Have you told him you are not signing the new contract?" She asks and a nasty _fuck you_ smile is playing around her lips.

"Yes. Do you have the pictures?" I ask my voice lacking any emotion.

"Wait." She says and makes a phone call. _Oh god, she is calling Christian... I don't want to hear his voice now... I can't._

I concentrate on the chatter in the background provided by a family with three kids who are giggling and talking until Elena ends the call.

"Well done, Anastasia." She says and shoves a manila envelope across the table. I open it to peek at the pictures inside and nearly vomit.

"Are these all?"

"Yes, but the negatives are still in my possession and will remain so until Christian has moved on with a sub of my choosing. Do not try to contact him again or get back with Christian. If you do, I will ruin him. I didn't waste years to turn a troubled son of a crack whore into a billionaire only for some mousy little gold digger like you to take him away from me."

"You don't deserve him." I spit out and she laughs.

"Oh darling, don't kid yourself, it's not about what a person deserves, it's about what a person is willing to do to get what she wants... and I will stop at nothing to get what I want." She says arrogantly and I can barely keep myself from pulling her across the table and beat her to a bloody pulp, but I can't... I just broke up with the man I love to save him from public humiliation and possibly losing everything he has worked so hard for that I can't risk to ruin it now by letting that evil bitch provoke me.

"I want the negatives."

"As soon as he has moved on. I'll be in touch." She says and leaves, while I remain seated in the booth and stare at the envelope in my hands.

I wish I could have just told Christian... but he would have never believed me. To him Elena is a saint who saved him and not an evil child molesting bitch who lured him into a lifestyle no child should take part in.

Worse, if we would have had more time, I know he would have seen the truth. He has changed so much already, enjoying to act his age and becoming more of a boyfriend and less of a Dominant with each passing week. Deep down, I know that he loves me; he is just not ready to see it and admit to himself... if only there had been more time...

I stop, I have to move on. It's the only choice I have, if I want to protect him. Maybe one day I can tell him the truth... but for now I have to try to live my life without him and make him believe that I am happy... even if it breaks my heart... for Christian I can do this...

Still, I feel like this is the end. The end of all my hopes and dreams and more so, the end of what could have been my happily ever after...


	2. Chapter 2

_**Here it is Chapter 2... many of you asked for weekly updates, which is why I have decided that starting now I will post a new chapter every Tuesday. So far, I have written everything up until chapter 15 and the story will be complete around chapter 25, so I feel confident that for once I will be able to keep my updating schedule ;-)**_

 _ **As you can see, I have changed the title of the story as this new title is more fitting for a full story... and of course, as you can see in the description this chapter will have a HEA, though we are headed towards some big drama and angst around chapter 3 to 7, but once we are through that part it will slowly progress into a fun story without any over the top drama...**_

 _ **Oh, and the Pinterest for this story will be up next Tuesday and I will post the link in the next chapter...**_

* * *

 _ **Elliot**_

I haven't seen my brother in two weeks, he has not taken my calls or answered my e-mails. It's the same with Mia and our parents and I have had it. I know he is probably drowning himself in work to get over Ana, but that doesn't mean he has to kick us out of his life. I don't even get why they broke up to begin with. He couldn't keep his hands off her and she worshipped the ground he was walking on. Now, she is barely talking and Kate and I hear her cry herself to sleep each night.

At Escala I get into the elevator, but I don't have the fucking code. I try his birthday, Mia's, mine and the birthdays of our parents but nothing works. I'm about to give up when I get an idea and scroll through my calendar until I find Ana's birthday. I type it in and smirk when the doors close and the elevator starts its ride up to the penthouse. Once I'm all the way up I step out of the elevator and find Taylor in the foyer.

"I'm sorry Mr. Grey, but your brother doesn't want visitors today." He says all business and I roll my eyes.

"Well, too fucking bad for him, because unless you are planning to remove me by force, I am going to see my brother now." I tell him and he looks pissed, but doesn't try anything to stop me when I walk towards the great room. Inside I'm surprised to find my brother sitting on the floor in front of the fire place and he is surrounded by crunched up sheets of paper, cursing up a storm as throws another paper ball onto the floor.

"What's the matter, bro?" I ask and he looks up at me with a look of annoyance on his face.

"I'm busy, fuck off, Elliot." He mutters, but I sit down on the floor too and grab one of the balls of paper and laugh when I realize that my brother is trying to write a fucking love letter to Ana.

"Trying to channel your inner Shakespeare or what?" I laugh and he snatches the unfinished letter out of my hand.

"Just shut the fuck up, Elliot. I'm trying to win her back, but Ana isn't taking my calls, she doesn't react to e-mails or texts and... fuck I can't live like this Elliot. I need her back." He says and looks utterly defeated. _Shit now I do feel bad for laughing at him._

"If it's any help to you, Ana is shit too. She is trying to put on a brave face, but she is crying herself to sleep every night." I let him know and he looks at me with hope in his eyes.

"Has she talked about me?"

"No, she is avoiding to talk about you... fuck bro, what happened? I mean, you two have been happy, why did it end?"

"Hell if I know." He mutters under his breath and runs both hands through his hair.

"Elliot, I'm losing my mind here, I can't sleep, I can't eat... fuck, I don't know how to deal with those... those feelings." He says and I fight the urge to laugh.

"Sounds like a severe case of broken heart." I shrug, trying to sound nonchalant and not like I'm making fun of him.

"I don't do love... I fuck, okay? It's not love, it's just I've gotten used to her and now I can't get her out of my system." He says and my mouth pops open.

"Well fuck me, bro. If that's what you said to her, it's no wonder she has kicked you to the curb."

"Elliot, I don't do fucking love... I don't even know how to fucking love someone." He says and I shake my head sadly. _Damn, his past with his birthmother really did a number on him, but I had no idea that he believes that he can't love._

"Can I ask you a few questions, bro?"

"Sure whatever." He mutters.

"Do you care about Ana... I mean is it important to you that she is happy and enjoying her life?"

"Of course, what kind of stupid ass question is that?"

"Have you ever caught yourself planning a future with Ana... say things like moving in together?"

"Yes."

"Do you miss her when she is not with you?"

"Yes, god damn it, Elliot what are you trying to say?"

"Just answer my questions. How would you feel if Ana would be with someone else?"

"I would fucking destroy every fucker who would dare to touch her, she is mine... fuck is she seeing someone else... tell me!" He demands panic written all over his face.

"No, she is not... one last thing though. Can you imagine being with someone else even if it's just for a quick fuck?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, I want her so much... I can't even look at other women."

"Well then, let's see Ana is the only woman you want to be with, you are jealous even thinking about her moving on, you can imagine a future with her and you care about her a lot. In my humble opinion that all points to one thing... you have it bad bro. Don't fucking fight it, I bet Ana would be back in a heartbeat if she knew that you actually see more in her than a sex toy."

"I never treated her like a toy!" he hisses clearly offended and I decide on a different tactic to get him to see the truth.

"Really, if all I want is to bang a chick I couldn't care less about her... poor Ana... the first guy she liked and all he did was to fuck her. Maybe I should show her that there's a difference between fucking and love making... she is hot a..." I don't get to finish my sentence, because Christian has grabbed me by the shirt and gets right in my face.

"She. Is. Mine!" He snarls and this time I start to laugh.

"Yeah, you don't love her... give me a break, bro. Seriously, you are capable of love and what's more so your worthy of it." I say and he steps back immediately.

"It's not true, Elliot."

"Yes, it fucking is. Christ, for what do you pay Flynn if he can't even make you see that you are loved and fully capable of loving someone back?"

"No one can love me." He mutters sadly and I had about enough.

"Well tough, because you're my brother and I love you, man. Mia freaking hero-worships you and our parents love you too. Our entire family loves you and no matter how badly you fuck up that's not going to change. Christ, why do you think we all constantly try to call you or ask you to hang out?"

"It's not love, you just have to say that because we are family." He insists and I had enough. I know he has issues and I'm sure as fuck going to get our family together for some sort of intervention, but for now I want to help him to get Ana back.

"Whatever, do you want me to help you get Ana back?" I ask and he looks at me speculatively.

"Why would you help me?"

"Let's just say I wasn't always the most amazing big brother, so that's my way of showing you that I care."

"So, what can I do to make her come back?"

"Well, what did she say when she left?"

"That I can't give her what she needs." He murmurs after a while.

"What does she want?" I ask and he seems to be fighting with himself to find the right words.

"Less rules." He finally murmurs and I gape at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Look, I need to be in control... so if I allow anyone to have a part in my life there have to be rules."

"Jesus, what if she breaks one, do you put her across your knees?" I joke, but the look on his screams that I just hit the nail on the head. I decide not to push the topic, whatever floats his boat is not my fucking business.

"If you want her back, prove to her that you are willing to change, do something she would never expect you to do."

 _ **Ana**_

The last two weeks have been hard. I cried myself to sleep most nights, but at the same time something within me has shifted. When I told Christian that I wouldn't sign the contract, I just told him the first things that came to my mind and seemed like good reasons for me to want to leave. Now, I know that every word was the truth.

I love him, but sometimes love, especially if it's one-sided, is just not enough. I've lost myself hoping he would change, but the sad truth is that by being his sub, I never gave him a reason to change. Instead I led him to believe that everything was fine, when at least for me, it wasn't.

Today, I'm going to have a better day, or at least that is what I'm trying to convince myself.

At work I have enough to do to occupy my thoughts, so I don't even get tempted to think about Christian. Around noon, I have to get something from the front desk and as always I end up chatting with Claire, who I really like, we are just making plans to meet for cocktails after work when her mouth drops open.

"OMG, Ana you'll never guess who is about to enter the building." She whisper-screams at me and I have a feeling I really don't want to know.

"It's Christian Grey." She says giggling like a school girl and I can feel his presence as soon as he has stepped into the building, but I keep my back turned to him.

 _So much for him promising me that we would never run into each other at my workplace!_

I watch as Claire's eyes grow even wider and hate myself for the fact that my gaze automatically finds the floor as soon as he has stepped right in front of me.

"Hello Anastasia." He says and before I know what is happening, he has leaned in and kisses my cheek.

"Christian." I whisper in reply and force myself to look up at him. He is smiling at me and I'm sure I have a look of utter disbelieve on my face.

"I know that you broke up with me, but I can't let you go Ana. You haven't answered my calls or e-mails... so here I am. Please have lunch with me, we need to talk, baby."

 _Holy fuck! Did he really just say that... in front of my co-worker? Is this the same guy who whenever we went out with Kate and Elliot gave me clear instructions not to do anything that would make us appear as a couple as soon as other people are around? Maybe this is just a dream?!_

"I can't, I'm meeting Kate fort lunch." I lie, but I can't do this.

"It's okay, how about dinner tonight?"

"I'm meeting with some co-workers for cocktails after work and I really don't think this is good idea, Christian."

"I will pick you up for lunch tomorrow, Ana. Here this is for you." He says and hands me a present, I can't help but giggle when I see the terrible way it is wrapped.

"That's a beautiful sound... and I do apologize for my poor wrapping skills." He says as if I am not completely mistaken he is slightly embarrassed.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He says and leans in to kiss my cheek again. Before I can tell him that I won't have lunch with him at all he is gone.

"Girl... you better not have plans to have lunch with your roommate today, because I'm taking you to lunch and you will spill about your relationship with Christian Grey." Claire exclaims.

"K." I mutter and walk like a robot towards the restrooms. I need to know what's inside the gift box, but knowing Christian, I don't want to open it where someone else can see it. He is not exactly the romantic type, so this box might as well be filled with personalized butt plugs or stuff like that.

Once I have locked myself inside a stall I open it and frown. _Seriously? He gives me a copy of the freaking NDA wrapped as a gift?_

For a second I'm seriously tempted to rip it and flush it down the toilet, but that's when I see the note.

 _Dear Anastasia,_

 _this is my copy of the NDA, which I made you sign on our first night together. You are now in the possession of both copies and to me they are void. I trust you to keep my secret, but at the same time I don't want you to lie when people ask you about your past relationships. I am proud that you allowed me to be with you, even if our time together has been way too short for my liking._

 _I never felt like I was made for more than a Dom/sub relationship, but to my own surprise, it's not the moments in which you've been my sub which I now miss the most. I miss us talking, I miss your giggling, I miss you challenging me to a game of cards or pool... I even miss watching you cook or simply listen to you talk. My deepest regret is that I didn't realize what you had to offer._

 _Yes, you have been a very good sub... but more so you have been the most amazing girlfriend any guy could ever ask for and I didn't appreciate it enough or let you know, that for me, it wasn't just about putting up a charade in front of my family and your roommate. Those moments have been real, Anastasia._

 _When you came to my place, I wanted to offer you a contract without any timely constriction and I had already planned for you to move in with me full time. At the time I didn't even fully understand why I wanted that, but now I know it is because I want us to build a future together._

 _You said you don't want to be submissive outside the bedroom and I agree with that. Yes, I want you submissive in the playroom, but outside of it I want you to be yourself. Simply said, if you decide to give me a second chance there will be no contract. It will be just us... Ana and Christian._

 _Please think about it, Ana. I need you in my life and I will prove to you that I'm worthy of a second chance._

 _Christian_

Oh my God! What the hell am I going to do now?


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi Ladies, I just wanted to clear a few things up... so there will be no cheating in this story, nor will one of them be with someone else why they are not together and there won't be any kind of month or year long separation between them...**_

 _ **As for Pinterest, you can find the board under the following link: www - pinterest - com / sfanfiction / the - beginning - in - the - end / Just remove the spaces and the link should work, if not send me a message and I will sent the link to you this way...**_

* * *

 _ **Christian**_

"Sir, Mrs. Lincoln is here to see you." Taylor announces and I nod. _Fuck, what the hell does she want now?_

I watch as Elena enters the great room, as always dressed completely in black. I want to say that she looks stunning for a woman her age, but sadly it's not true. Over the last four or five years she had a few plastic surgeries and that in combination with botox makes her look like someone hit her in the face with an iron.

"Christian, darling. You didn't call me back. I was worried about you." She says with a pout and I scowl at her.

"I've been busy."

"You are always busy, but it never stopped you from making time for me." She says and orders Gail to bring her a glass of wine. Her tone alone pisses me off, no wonder Gail always looks at with distaste.

"So, since things between you and Anabelle are..."

"Anastasia!" I snap... _she fucking knows her name!_

"Right, sorry... anyway, I have a few subs lined up who will meet your standards. Do you want me to set up appointments at the club for you to interview them?" She asks.

"No, Ana and I will start over soon." I reply and her mouth drops open.

"But you told me she left. It's over Christian."

"No, it's not over, Elena. Ana doesn't want to be a fulltime submissive, that is fine with me. I will offer her a relationship without contract." I confess and Elena starts to laugh.

"Darling please, you want to enter a vanilla relationship; you are not made for an ordinary relationship."

"That is not what I meant. Ana has no problem subbing for me in the playroom, she just wants to be herself outside of it and I enjoy spending time with her without us sticking to our roles."

"That's ridiculous and who says she will agree to that anyway? You are making a fool out of yourself by trying. I can tell exactly how this will end. The moment you enter this kind of relationship with her, she will want to seal the deal. She will probably get pregnant right away and then what? You can't be father, we both know that and you will end up with a fat wife. Now does that sound appealing to you?" She hisses and I am taken aback by what she is saying.

"Ana is twenty-one. She doesn't want kids yet and she is not the type of woman to trap a guy by getting knocked up on purpose."

"She is a fucking gold digger, Christian. My god wake up! As your friend I'm telling you, stay away from her or things will become ugly." She says and I push to my feet.

"Are you threatening me Elena?" I ask her and she gets up as well trying to stare me down... to get me to submit.

I stare at her horrified. _What the hell is she playing at?_

"Elena, thank you for stopping by, but I believe that it is time for you to leave now." I say my voice icy cold and she turns beet red with anger.

"You are kicking me out?"

"Yes, I don't want to fight with you, but it's time for you to leave. As a friend you should support me and not try to talk me out of getting the one woman who makes me truly happy back."

"You won't get her back no matter what. Call me once you have come to your senses." Elena hisses and storms out of the great room.

"Sir..."

"Not now." I snap at Taylor and storm into my study. _I will show her, I'll get Anastasia back no matter what._

The next day I can't wait for lunch time to come around. Surely by now Ana will have made the decision to give me a second chance. So, when it's finally time I have to control myself not to run into the building that houses SIP, but I can't see Ana anywhere.

"Excuse me, I'm here to pick Anastasia up, is she still working?" I ask the young woman behind the welcome desk who stares at me open mouthed.

"I... I'm sorry, Mr. Grey... Ana called in sick this morning."

I don't even reply and head out of the building and get into the car.

"Miss Steele's, Taylor. She called in sick this morning."

At Ana's apartment I knock for several minutes, but she doesn't open. I try to call her, but my calls go straight to voice mail.

"Open the door, Taylor." I order and he looks as if he wants to argue, but finally picks the lock.

Inside I call out for Ana, but find that the apartment is empty. With my worry and panic that she might have been hospitalized I call Kate who tells me that Ana left the apartment this morning to go to work as usual. When I tell her that Ana isn't home, her phone is switched off and she has called in sick at work, Kate promises to come home immediately.

This is not like Ana and we can't even track her phone to find out where she is because it's switched off.

Thirty minutes later Kate arrives and another hour later Elliot is there too. I have my entire security team searching for her, inwardly cursing myself that I didn't have someone watching her to begin with, at least then we would know where she is.

It isn't until almost six in the evening that Ana steps into the apartment looking anything but sick.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I yell at her not able to control my rising temper.

"Why are you here?" She asks in return and I scowl at her.

"We had a lunch date and when I came to pick you up, I was told you are sick. Naturally, I came here to make sure you are fine and guess who wasn't here. We've been worried sick, Anastasia!" I snap and she has the grace to look contrite.

"I'm sorry, I forgot. José called me when I was just about to go to work and asked me if I was free to help him with a photo shoot. So, I called in sick and went with him." She says and I am appalled.

"You call in sick to have a good time with your friend?" I ask.

"No, actually I did feel sick all morning, but it magically disappeared once I knew I wasn't going to work. Incidentally, it was a great decision to meet with Jose. The photos are for a local magazine and when I told them that I work in publishing, they told me about their open position as editor and I took it." She says with a huge smile.

"What? What about SIP?" I ask and she shrugs.

"I'll quit. I'm starting my new job next week and I guess Mr. Roach will understand that I can't let an opportunity like that go."

"Well, as the owner of SIP, I can tell you that you will have to give us your six weeks notice and work until then." I hiss at her, losing the battle with my temper for good.

"You can't do that." She gasps.

"I can and I will!"

"Fuck you, Christian. That's the reason why I would never want to get back together with you. You are one controlling, egoistic son of a bitch!" She yells at me and storms into her room. _Fuck, what have I done?_

 _ **Ana**_

I can't believe he is doing this! If it wasn't for him harassing me at work, I wouldn't even have considered taking a job for a magazine, no matter how much they pay... but I can't work at SIP when I have to constantly fear that he will show up, trying to get me back.

What's more so, his outburst clearly showed that everything he wrote in his letter was nothing but him trying to tell me what I want to hear, so he can win me back. He will never change... it's that simple.

"Ana?"

"Is he still here, Kate?" I ask when she steps into my room.

"No, he left. Look Ana. I'm the first to say when he is unreasonable or just a douche, but Christian was out of his mind with worry when we didn't know where you are. Cut him some slack, he overreacted, but he really likes you Ana. He might not see it himself, but he loves you and I know that you love him too. You can work things out." She says and I turn around, so she won't see me cry.

"No. Can I please have some privacy?" I ask and hear Kate leave the room. I curl up in bed and sob into my pillow. But the more I cry the more I start to get angry. That bitch troll made me break up with him, she did this to me... reduced me to a crying mess and in this moment I decide it has to end and I grab my phone.

"Why Anastasia, I didn't expect you to call me." Elena snarls into the phone.

"You made me end things with Christian. Now he is trying to win me back and I can't take it anymore... make him stop." I hiss into the phone and hang up. _Holy fuck! Why did I do that? I just poked a sleeping bear and now things will become ugly._

It only takes two minutes for my phone to buzz again. I think about letting it go to voicemail, but decide against.

"What?" I snap.

"Miss Steele, you and I need to have a private conversation." For a moment I have no idea what is going on, the male voice sounds familiar, but I just can't place it.

"Who is this?"

"It's Taylor, Ma'am. I would like to meet with you, there is something we need to discuss." He says and my heart sinks. _OMG, I just called Elena Lincoln and then Taylor calls me back... what if they are working together... will he harm Christian?_

"Why?"

"I will tell you once we meet. There is a small pub two blocks from Escala. Can you meet me there in an hour?" He asks.

"Yes, I'll be there." With that I hang up, wondering what Taylor wants from me.

An hour later I enter the pub and find Taylor sitting at a table in the far corner, which is partially hidden by a huge potted plant.

"Taylor?"

"Please, have a seat Miss Steele." He says and I sit down.

"Miss Steele, as you know it is my job to keep Mr. Grey safe. Yesterday, something happened that in my mind was a clear threat. So, I have taken the liberty to investigate. Miss Steele, what is your connection to Elena Lincoln? She has called you quite often in the past six weeks." He says and I have no idea what to do.

"I don't know what you are talking about, but I have to leave now." I get out in rush and push to my feet.

"I won't stop to investigate until I find out the truth, Miss Steele. Now sit down." He snaps and to my own surprise I plant my butt back on the chair.

"I don't believe that you are working for Mrs. Lincoln. I believe she has something on you or Mr. Grey and she used it to make you end your... um... relationship with him." He says and I stare at my hands. _What the hell am I going to do now?_

"Miss Steele... Ana... you can trust me, I'm trying to help you, but if you are not forthcoming I have to share the information I have gathered so far with Mr. Grey." He says and I know I can't let that happen.

"You can't tell him." I whisper.

"Then talk to me."

"About six weeks ago Mrs. Lincoln approached me after work. She said there was something we need to discuss. I didn't really want to talk to her, but at the same time I had this really bad feeling that if I didn't things were about to become ugly. So I went to a restaurant with her and she told me in no uncertain ways that she didn't approve of my relationship with Christian. I told her that I don't care about what she thinks and just left. That's when she started to call me, demanding for me to break up with him and a week before the contract between Christian and I ran out, she approached me again. She dragged me into her car and again demanded for me to end things with Christian, I was just about to get out of her car when she showed me a picture."

I stop, trying to get the imagine of the picture out of my head.

"What kind of picture?"

"A picture of Christian from the time he was her submissive. She has tons of pictures of him. Some so disgusting, disturbing and humiliating that it has given me nightmares... but there are others too. They must have been taken later, when he was already a Dominant himself. Pictures of him whipping and caning petite woman. They haven't been taken in his playroom, it's a different setting, but it is him."

"Why did she show you the pictures?" Taylor asks ashen faced, he knows as well as I do that these pictures could destroy Christian's reputation forever.

"She threatened to leak them to the media if I would continue to see Christian. We argued and in the end we made a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

"I told her that I wouldn't sign a new contract with Christian if I would get the pictures in return. I was so stupid, of course she gave me the pictures, but she still owns the negatives and she won't give them to me unless Christian has moved on with a sub of her choosing. And I made things worse tonight."

"How?"

"I was so mad at Christian and I... I might have called her and demanded for her to make him leave me alone and then hung up on her." I admit.

"I need to see the pictures Miss Steele and we need to tell Mr. Grey what is going on."

"Like he is going to believe me that Saint Elena would do something like that." I huff and Taylor sighs.

"Miss Steele, I firmly believe that you are the only one who can convince him that Elena Lincoln is a vile person. Please let us get the pictures and see Mr. Grey.

I stare at Taylor not sure what to do, but in the end I know he is right, Christian needs to know what his so-called friend is doing.

After getting the envelope with the pictures from my apartment we drive to Escala and I follow Taylor into the elevator. I'm really nervous about this, I don't want Christian to believe that this means we can just continue where we left of, because we won't, but he has to see that Elena is pure evil.

Stepping out of the elevator I follow Taylor into the great room and stop abruptly not believing the scene that is playing out in front of me.

Elena is kneeling naked in front of Christian and she is about to undo his fly. For a second we just stare at each other, but then my brain starts to work again and I make a run for the elevator.

"Ana... wait, I can explain." I hear Christian call out after me, but I'm already in the elevator and press the button so the doors close.

 _I don't ever want to see Christian Grey again..._


	4. Chapter 4

_**Christian**_

I can't believe I allowed my damned temper to get the best of me and now Ana is so angry, she doesn't want to see me again. Fuck, her getting a better job isn't the end of the world, what really pissed me off was her spending time with the fucking photographer when she could have spent that time with me.

I wanted to talk to her, to apologize and let her know that she can start her new job, but my fucking pride didn't allow me to go through with it and instead I left feeling like an utter asshole.

"Sir?" I turn around when I hear Gail's voice as she peeks into my study.

"Mrs. Lincoln is here to see you." She says and I close my eyes. _Fuck that is all I need right now._

"I'll be right there." I mutter and down a whisky before I leave my study to see what Elena wants this time. _Christ the more I avoid her the clingier she gets!_

"Christian darling." She purrs when she sees me and something about her tone makes my skin crawl.

"Elena, I'm not in the mood for chit-chat, what do you want?"

"You need relax darling. Look at you, you are so tense and angry... nothing a good session in the playroom won't cure." She says.

"Well, Anastasia is fucking pissed at me, so there are no playroom sessions in my future anytime soon." I snap.

"You don't need her, you can have every woman you want." She points out and I roll my eyes.

"I. Only. Want. Anastasia!" I growl and now Elena looks pissed too.

"Christ, why are so obsessed with her, does her cunt taste like champagne?" She huffs and that does it.

"OUT!" I shout so loud I hear Mrs. Jones drop something in the kitchen.

"Oh Christian, do you honestly believe that you can intimidate me? I've made you darling, taught you everything you know and I know what you need... I'm the only one who can give you what you _really_ need." She says stepping closer and before I know what is happening she has taken her coat off and to my shock she is completely naked underneath it.

"Elena what the fuck?" I gasp in horror. _She thinks I need her? I wouldn't fuck her with someone else's dick!_

While I'm still staring at her in horror she reaches forward to open my zipper and I want to swat her hand away and drag her naked ass into the elevator, but I'm stopped by a gasp.

I look up and my world comes to an abrupt halt. About ten feet away from me, at the entrance of the great room is Anastasia, she is staring at me in utter disbelieve and if I am not mistaken disgust. And then she turns to leave me... _again_.

"No... Ana please wait, I can explain!" I call after her and roughly shove Elena out of my way.

I try to reach Ana, but she is already in the elevator furiously hitting the close button and before I can get to her the doors close and she is gone. In this moment a never known anger surges through me. This is her fault! If it wasn't for Elena, Ana and I could have talked... now she might not ever want to talk to me again.

For a minute I just stand there, staring at the closed doors of the elevator, but then I turn around, storm back into the great room and grab Elena, who is still naked on the floor, by the elbow.

"We are done, Elena! Do not ever contact me again!" I hiss and drag her towards the elevator, while she tries struggle out of my grasp.

"Christian, please what are you doing."

"Taking out the trash." I growl as we reach the elevator and press the call button.

"No, you can't kick me out like that!" She screams.

"Watch me! Oh and I'm going to sell my shares of the salons, you'll hear from my lawyers." I tell her and shove her into the elevator.

"Christian, at least give me my coat, you can't kick me out naked!" She whines and I don't feel the slightest bit bad about it.

"You've done way more humiliating shit to me, Elena. This is just me repaying the favor."

"You'll regret this!" She hisses as the doors close and I turn around where I find Taylor who is desperately trying to hide his smirk.

"I want her watched, she is no longer allowed at Escala, Grey House or any property owned by GEH." I let him know and storm into my study where I down another whisky. I need to see Ana, but I know she needs some time to cool off, or else we will only end up fighting.

"Sir, there is something about Mrs. Lincoln we need to discuss." He says and I motion for him to go on.

"After your last encounter with her, I have taken the liberty to investigate a little. Her phone records showed that she has been in contact with Miss Steele."

"What the fuck? Why would Elena call Ana?"

"I was asking myself the very same question, so I called Miss Steele and asked her to meet with me. At first she wasn't very forthcoming, but in the end she confided in me that Mrs. Lincoln has blackmailed her into ending her relationship with you, Sir." He says and I sit down, this is crazy... Elena blackmailing Ana and with what? _Why would she do that to me?_

"Why?"

"I can only make assumptions on that part, Sir. However the blackmail material is very concerning."

"What does she have on Ana? She is an angel for heaven's sake, what could Elena possibly hold against Ana?" _Something about this just isn't right._

"It's nothing about Miss Steele, Sir. Miss Steele was trying to protect you." He says and hands me an envelope. I open it and look at the picture. _Fuck!_ It's picture after picture of me during my time as Elena's sub. Blindfolded, beaten, tortured, humiliated... and pictures of me as a Dom. Hell, I had no idea that there are cameras at the club... _shit!_

And suddenly I feel sick, Ana saw these, no wonder she is disgusted with me.

"Mrs. Lincoln has threatened to release them to the media if Miss Steele would continue to see you. She gave these to Miss Steele after she broke up with you, however Mrs. Lincoln still owns the negatives and most likely copies of these. I would like to request more resources to investigate Mrs. Lincoln and keep her under surveillance."

"Whatever you need." I mutter and sit down. I need to see Flynn, I need to find a way to talk to Ana without fucking things up again.

Quickly, I dial his number. _I'm paying him a fortune, so he better make time for me now!_

"Good evening, Christian." He answer after the third ring.

"I need an emergency session now, I found out why Ana left me and I need to figure out how to win her back."

"Christian, I know this is an emergency for you, but I can't see you tonight, I'm on my way to school recital."

"Fuck John..." I stop, I can't make him disappoint his kids, even I'm not fucked up enough for that. "Tomorrow then?" I mutter begrudgingly.

"I'll come to the office early, say seven thirty?"

"Fine, bye John." I hang up and start to pace. I'm going to ruin Elena for this. She has crossed so many lines, there is no way back!

I just don't understand why she would do something so despicable? She has always been my friend... she helped me... saved me from myself and taught me how to focus and take control... why would she try to separate me from the one girl that made me happy? Very unbidden something she once said to me comes to mind. _Love is for fools, Christian._

I believed her then, but is this really true? I don't think that I am in love with Ana or that I am capable of love period. Still, she makes me feel alive ... happy even. She is the best of both worlds, submissive in the bedroom and strong and funny outside of it. Why does Elena not want me to find happiness? It just doesn't make sense to me.

I'm distracted from my thoughts by the ringing of my phone and see Elliot's name on the caller ID.

"Elliot it's not a good time." I mutter as a greeting.

"Christian, you have to come to the MidWest Hospital now, it's Ana." He says and I freeze.

"What happened, where is Ana?" I ask and run out of my study motioning for Taylor who is talking to Gail in the kitchen to follow me.

"I don't know, bro. Ray called, the hospital called him, because he is listed as her next of kin. He called Kate... fuck, someone ran her over and just took off. It's bad, bro, you better hurry." He says and I feel like I can't breathe.

"Get Mom, Elliot... get Mom, she can help her... please... please get Mom." I beg, she saved me... she can help her, she has to.

"I already called her, look bro, I have to hang up, I'm driving and Kate is hysterical."

"I meet you there." I get out in a rush and get into the car with Taylor.

"Where to Sir?"

"MidWest hospital, Ana was hit by car." I whisper and hold my face in my hands. This is a nightmare, only this time I can't wake up. The entire car ride is a blur and before I really know what is happening I'm entering a waiting area where Elliot is trying to comfort a sobbing Kate and to my surprise my father is there.

"Dad?"

"I was here to pick your mother up, she is with Ana." He explains.

"How is she... what is happening Dad?"

"We don't know yet, son. I talked to a friend from the downtown police station. Apparently Ana was walking home when a car hit her on the sidewalk twice."

"Twice, what the fuck does that mean she was hit twice?" I hiss not able to comprehend what my father is trying to tell me.

"The car hit her once then set back and hit her again. Whoever hit her with the car did it on purpose." He says and my world collapses around me, because deep down I know who it was. I turn to look at Taylor and I can see that he is thinking the same thing. _It was Elena._

"How bad is it Dad?" I ask and deflate into one of the plastic chairs.

"Christian..."

"Tell me what you know!" I demand and he sits down next to.

"From what I could gather, it is very serious and ... and we have to prepare ourselves for the worst. Ana is a strong young woman... but her injuries are very severe..."

I hold my hand up to stop him and try to blend it all out. I don't want to hear anymore... I don't want to hear that Ana is more than likely to die and it's all my fault. If it wasn't for me being a selfish son of a bitch, I would have never pursuit her and she would have never met Elena... _please God, don't take her away from me..._

Minutes turn into hours and Ana's Dad has arrived while we are still waiting for news. Ray has called her mother and I offered to have a jet waiting for her at Hilton Head, she will need a few more hours before she lands in Seattle. My Dad keeps telling me that no news are good news, because it means Ana is still alive, but I can't take this waiting much longer, it's been five hours already.

Another four hours later Ana's mother has arrived as well as Mia, Kate's brother Ethan and the fucking photographer. I have been at the nurses desk countless times trying to find out what is going on and I am just about to get up again when my mother comes in. She looks completely exhausted and I can't force myself to look into her eyes, because I know that one look will tell me if Ana is still alive or not.

"How is my daughter?" Ray asks and we all gather around my mother.

"Ana has a fracture in her right leg as well as her left ankle, right elbow and hand. She has four fractured ribs, one of which has punctured her lung. She has a hairline fracture to her skull, which has led to brain swelling and we needed to puncture her skull in order to release the fluids that have gathered as result of the swelling. There has been severe internal bleeding, which we were able to stop, but the high blood loss led to her flat lining twice during the surgery. We could repair all the internal damage caused by the impact. We have induced a coma, both to allow her body to heal and to minimize the pain. For now Ana is in a stable, but critical condition."

"Will she make it?" I ask finally looking at my mother and for the first time I have no idea what she is thinking.

"Ana is a very strong young woman and she has made it through the surgery which is a good sign, but I can't say if she is going to make it. I wish I could, but with injuries this severe it's in God's hands now." She says and I know there is something she isn't telling us.

"Mom, I know you are hiding something... please what else do you know?" My mother steps forward to me and takes my hands and in hers.

"Ana is pregnant. It's a miracle she hasn't lost the baby so far and we have tried to adapt the medication so it won't harm the baby, but at this point it is most likely for her to miscarry within the next 24 hours."

Pregnant... Ana is pregnant with my child... our child... I'm going to be a father...

"Christian, darling, do you want to sit down?" My mother asks, but I shake my head.

I turn and leave the waiting area and in this moment I'm driven by one thought alone. _I'm going to find and kill Elena Lincoln!_

* * *

 _ **Just keep in mind that this story has a HEA… so no character deaths… oh and no amnesia…**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**I had requests for both longer chapters and two updates each week, sadly I can't do either. Everything up to chapter 16 is already written and apart from one chapter which has 4k words, all others are between 2k and 2.5k... as for multiple updates each week, most of you know that my updating schedule is seriously messed up with my other stories, since I have very little time to write, so I don't want run out of pre-written chapters too fast. However, once I have all chapters written, I will switch to two updates a week.**_

 _ **A guest asked me what happened to Monday updates... I don't know since this story is updated each Tuesday ;-) but I guess depending on where you live it is still Monday when I update in the morning...**_

* * *

 _ **Christian**_

I storm out of the hospital and race towards the car. _I'm going to kill the bitch!_

"Sir, I cannot allow you to leave in this condition." I hear Taylor behind me.

"I'm going to fucking end her! She nearly killed Ana and... and... my child!" I shout and Taylor grabs me by the shoulders.

"We'll get her, Sir, but I can't let you run off, not in this condition. I need you to take a deep breath and listen to me." Taylor says and I try, really fucking try, but no matter how hard I try to take a deep breath I just can't get enough air into my lungs and then I feel the wetness on my cheeks and I realize that I am crying... fucking sobbing thinking about my Ana inside that hospital fighting for her life and the tiny life inside of her that might never get a chance to be born.

"Christian?" I vaguely hear Mia's voice and then I feel her wrap her arms around me.

"She will live and the baby too... I know it, but you can't leave. She needs you now, ok?" Mia whispers and I look at her.

"She broke up with me." I admit sadly.

"But she loves you, it's obvious, sometimes we leave the ones we love to make them realize how they feel about us. Have you told her that you love her?" Mia asks and I shake my head... I can no longer deny it, I am in love with Anastasia Steele and I might not get the chance to tell her.

"Tell her now, Mom said that once she is on the ICU her parents can see her. I'm sure you can see her too." She says.

"What if I never get to tell her? What if the baby... what if..." Shit I can't bring myself to say it. For all of my adult life it has been my worst fear that I would accidentally get a woman pregnant, because I could never see myself as a father, but now... now it is my worst fear that the new life Ana and I unknowingly created doesn't survive... that I will never get the chance to prove myself wrong by being the best father I can be.

"Come, there is a place we need to go." Mia says and I just follow her back into the hospital when she takes my hand. Instead of leading me back into the waiting area she leads me to the opposite end of the hospital where I have never been before and then we enter a small chapel.

"Why are we here?" I ask, but she just smiles and lights two candles before she hands me the matches and asks me to light two more candles.

"Do you remember three years ago when gramps had a stroke and the doctors told us that after a stroke as severe as his he had only days left to live?"

"Yes, but he recovered." I murmur not understanding what she is trying to tell me.

"I was so scared and not ready to let him go, I was wandering through the hallways and found myself here. I lit a candle, sat down and found myself praying... well more like bargaining with God. I promised to become a better person, a better daughter and sister if he would let me have more time with gramps. I would come here every day light a candle and pray and you know what... two weeks later I went to visit gramps and when I stepped out of the elevator he was walking down the hallway with the help of a nurse. Miracles do happen, Christian we just have to believe and if God wants Ana and you to have this child then it will live, but you have to believe that it will live, don't give up on your baby or Ana just because the odds are against their survival." She says and squeezes my hand.

I look at her, I had no idea that my baby sister believes in God. We all went to Sunday school and church with our parents, but I thought she, just like Elliot and I stopped going once we moved away for college. In this moment, I don't know if I even believe in a higher power, but I'm willing to try if it saves the life of Ana and our child.

So, in the end I sit down and try to think of something I could offer to God that would be enough to let them live. And in this moment I realize that right here in this moment everything I own is worthless and I can only offer to become a better person and to try to embrace my family more, be what they deserve to have in a brother, son and grandson. I don't know if this is enough or if God is even listening to me, but if it's up to him if Ana and my child are going to live I have to try.

 _ **Carla**_

"Ray, I'm scared." I confess when a nurse leads us to a private room on the ICU where my daughter has been brought to.

"I know, Carla, I'm scared too." He says surprising me when he takes my hand in his and it gives me enough strength to enter the room.

As soon as I lay eyes on my child I can no longer hold back my tears. My poor child is covered in bandage and bruised up badly everywhere. Her face is so pale and all those tubes and wires attached to her really scare me.

"Can I touch her, I don't want to hurt her." I ask the nurse and she gives me a reassuring smile.

"Of course, you can touch her, in fact even in a coma some patients react very positive to the touch of their loved ones, their voices and even music." She replies and I step forward to touch her sweet face.

"I'm here, darling. I'm here and so is Ray. We'll get you through this, both of you." I whisper thinking about the tiny little life that is growing inside my daughter and I'm so, so thankful to the Grey's for all they have done for my daughter. I know Christian is paying for the private room and her treatments and his mother has been on the phone ever since she came out of the OR calling each and every specialist in their respective medical fields she knows to come to Seattle and help Ana and her unborn child to survive.

I wish I could do more too, but sadly there isn't much I can do, besides making sure that I won't leave my daughter's side. I know Bob is not going to like it, but I won't leave Seattle until my daughter is out of the hospital and ready to take care of herself again. I haven't always been the best mother, but in this moment I make a silent vow to her and myself that I will become a better mother and amazing grandmother, I won't miss anymore time with my child.

"I'm going to see if Christian wants to see her now." I let Ray know after we have sat by Ana's side for almost half an hour. The boy was so upset and devastated while we waited, he needs to see Ana.

When I re-enter the waiting area all the Grey's, Kate, Jose and Ethan are there, but Christian is not in there.

"How is Ana?" Kate asks me.

"She is hanging in there. I was looking for Christian, but if you like you can go see her until I have found him." I offer. I know Kate doesn't really like me, because I have missed so much time in my daughter's life, but I'm happy my girl has such a loyal and protective friend.

"Thank you." She says and hurries off.

"Where is Christian?" I ask and his sister speaks first.

"He is in the chapel. It is at the opposite end of the hospital."

"Thank you, I will go find him. I'm sure he wants to see Ana too."

While I walk down the hallway I switch my phone on to ask Bob to send me some clothes. In my hurry to get to Ana I just grabbed my purse and nothing else.

"Hi babe, how is Ana?" He asks when he answers the phone.

"Not good, Bob I need you to send me some clothes and everything else I need to stay in Seattle until she is better."

"What are we talking about, three or four days?" He asks.

"Bob, Ana is severely injured, we don't even know if she will survive at this point and if she does, she will need help. I won't leave her until she can take care of herself, so we are talking weeks, months even."

"Months? Be real Carla, I need you too. Who is going to cook my meals, wash my clothes and..." I close my eyes and blend his voice out. _Is this man seriously telling me that me cooking for him is more important than my daughter's life and health?_

"Bob, I hope you are not serious at the moment, but just to make this clear, my child could die, right now it's machines and God knows what else that is keeping her alive and you just cannot seriously ask me to leave her like that, because if you are then you won't like my answer."

"She has Ray and her friends... and what about that boyfriend of hers? Don't be such a drama queen, Carla."

I close my eyes and mindful of where I am I decide not to scream into my phone.

"Bob, I have changed my mind. Do not just send me a few of my things, please do send all of my belongings, because I won't return period." With that I hang up and take a deep breath. I know Ana is not his child, but if the man I am married to doesn't have any compassion for my daughter and what is happening to her then I can't have him in my life. I have been down this path before with Steve and it nearly ruined my relationship with Ana, I can't let my bad taste in men ruin our relationship for good.

Finally, I find the chapel and see Christian sitting on the bench in the front row. He is leaning forward, holding his face in his hands and from the way his shoulders are moving I can tell he is crying, but I approach him anyway, in a situation like this we can't waste time.

"Christian?" He looks up and wipes his tears away.

"Ana?" He asks then.

"She is at the ICU now, I thought you would want to see her."

"The baby?"

"A doctor wants to come and do another ultrasound soon." I reply and he looks so devastated and lost that I decide to share something with him not even Ana and Ray know.

"I was sixteen when I met Ana's father, he was a few years older and it was love at first sight. We had to date secretly, because my parents were very strict and I wasn't allowed to date. I was seventeen when I got pregnant with Ana and I knew my parents were going to freak out. When I told them, my father asked my mother to leave the room and then he beat me, he beat me until I was lying on the floor and he would continue to kick me. I don't even remember how, but somehow I managed to get out of the house and called Frank. I was sure my father had murdered my baby, every punch and kick he landed was intended to end the pregnancy... when Frank brought me to the hospital I was already bleeding and the doctors just made an ultrasound to confirm that I had miscarried. You know what happened? I heard that little heartbeat and it was so strong... my little girl wasn't about to go anywhere and she didn't. You have to believe that your child is just as much of fighter as Ana is. She was meant to be born and live a long and happy life, just like your child is meant to be born." I finish my story and he nods.

"She is a fighter, right?" He says and I nod.

"That she is, now let's go see her, I can't wait to hear the heartbeat of my grandchild."

Soon we reach the ICU and Ray, Kate and I decide to give Christian a few moments alone with Ana, but we all re-enter the room when a woman, who introduces herself as Doctor Greene, arrives and wait while she sets up the ultrasound machine.

"I'm going to look for the heartbeat." She says and we all hold our breath as she moves the doubler around until I can see a tiny baby on the monitor and sounds of a strong heartbeat float through the room. And just like almost twenty-three years ago, when I was admitted to the hospital after my father beat me up, it's hearing the strong heartbeat of my unborn grandchild that I know somehow it's all going to be fine...


	6. Chapter 6

_**Taylor**_

"Any news, Stan?" I ask when I call my old army buddy, who is now a cop, for the twentieth time since Miss Steele was admitted to the hospital.

"No, we are still looking for Elena Lincoln. She hasn't been at her salons or her house so far. Trust me Jason, she won't get out of this town."

"Fine, keep me updated."

"Same goes for you, I know you have your men out looking for her." He says and ends the call.

He is right, I have fifteen men out looking for that evil bitch, but now I need to talk to the boss. The news that Elena fucking Lincoln is wanted by the police for attempt murder will be out soon and his family is more than likely going to ask a lot of questions. Fuck, I should have had Ryan or Sawyer follow Miss Steele to make sure she gets home safely, but even though I knew what kind of vile person Mrs. Lincoln truly is, I never in a million years thought she would try something so despicable and evil.

I make my way to the boss and find him outside Miss Steele's hospital room at the ICU.

"Sir?"

"Taylor, have you found Elena?"

"Not so far, but the police is looking for her too. Traffic cameras caught her license plate on tape when she hit Miss Steele. Sir, they will release a statement soon and they are looking for a connection. I'm not sure if we will be able to keep your previous relationship with her a secret."

"I don't care, if what we did... what she did to me, if it makes sure she is put away even longer I'm fine with it. All I care about is the woman inside that room who is fighting for her life and the life of our unborn child, because I allowed that vile person in her life." He says and for the first time since I have known my boss he looks utterly defeated.

"Still, we will try to keep the nature of your relationship with her under a lit. I have every member of the security I could spare looking for her. The rest is here keeping your family safe and making sure Mrs. Lincoln won't come anywhere near the hospital grounds."

"Good. Taylor, Mrs. Adams and Mr. Steele will need a place to stay while Ana is here. Please call Gail and ask her to get the corporate apartment on the fifteenth floor ready for them. Make sure Mrs. Adams has access to one of my cars, she doesn't have one here and I'm not sure she can use Mr. Steele's whenever she needs a car. Oh and I need an I pod dock for Ana's hospital room, the nurse said music is good for her and the baby."

"Of course, I'll get right on it, anything else?"

"Yes, call Andrea, tell her to clear my schedule for the next two weeks at least, it's up to her and Ros to handle things for a while. I can't think straight and I don't want to leave Ana."

"We'll take care of everything. I'll ask Gail to pack some clothes for you too, so you don't have to leave to change." I offer and his reply surprises me.

"Thank you, Jason. I really appreciate you doing all of this for me."

"Whatever you need, Sir." I reply and leave before this conversation grows too uncomfortable for my liking.

Once I'm outside the hospital I call Gail.

"Jason, how is Miss Steele?" She asks and I know she is very upset.

"She is... well.. I guess hanging in there sums it up. She has broken bones, cuts, bruises and a skull fracture... and... fuck, Gail she is pregnant with Grey's child and the doctors don't think the child is going to make it."

I hear Gail gasp and then sob. "Who would do that Jason? Run her over with a car on the sidewalk, twice!" She cries, this bit has already been released to the media before we could put a lit on it.

"It was Elena Lincoln." I reply.

"What? Oh my goodness! I hate her, Jason. I always knew she is a vile person, but this... I can't even say what I want to happen to her. And there is no chance for the child? How is Mr. Grey?"

"He is broken, Gail. When his mother had to tell him that Ana is carrying his child and that she will most likely miscarry before the night is over... shit, he ran out of the hospital and he would have killed that Lincoln bitch then and there if he would have found her in that moment. When I stopped him from getting into the car he broke down. His sister talked to him, but I have never seen him like this. I've left a message on Flynn's voicemail to get here first thing in the morning. I'm afraid if we don't find Elena Lincoln soon he will go and hunt her down himself."

"Don't let that happen, Jason... and please make sure that evil monster is off the streets."

"Don't worry, sweetheart, Elena Lincoln won't manage to get away, not on my watch. Now, I need to ask you a few favors, can you get the corporate apartment ready for Miss Steele's parents and put the keys for the A8 there for Mrs. Adams, Ana's mom will need a car...shit and once it's morning please call Caroline Acton to send over some clothes for her, she didn't have the time to pack."

"Of course, what size does she have?" _Well hell, how would I know?_

"Umm... she is about your height and body shape."

"I'll ask Miss Acton to sent a about two or three different sizes. Be careful, Jason and make sure Mr. Grey won't do anything stupid out of desperation."

"I won't, get some rest, sweetheart, I call you in a few hours."

 _ **Christian - 10 hours later**_

I never thought my life would come to this, but here I am in the great room of my apartment with my parents and siblings about to confess everything about my lifestyle and how I started as a submissive to Elena. The police is still out looking for her, but they have searched her home and found a box full of the same pictures she has used to blackmail Ana.

"We know who hit Ana with the car." I start and look into four shocked faces.

"Who?" My Dad asks first.

"Elena Lincoln." I say quietly.

"Elena? My friend, Elena?" My mother asks horrified.

"Yes... Mom, she is not your friend... she... fuck I never saw it, when it's so blatantly clear to me now." I mutter more to myself than to my family.

"Christian, why would Elena harm Ana?"

"Because I love Ana and because I was choosing Ana over her."

"Bro, you are making no sense, why would you even have to choose between Elena and Ana?" Elliot asks and I know I have to give them context.

"Elena is into BDSM and when I was fifteen and out of control, she convinced me that by becoming her submissive I would learn to control my anger and be in control myself."

"BDSM, that's about sex, right?" My father asks horrified and I nod.

"Christian has she seduced you?" He wants to know next.

"Yes, we had sex, she would punish me if she thought I needed it."

"P-punish you?" My mother gasps.

"BDSM it stands for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. The Dominant partner will put rules into place, if the submissive partner breaks them there are punishments. Mostly physical, it can go from a spanking up to a whipping or caning, there is also humiliation involved or other forms of physical punishment..." I stop when I see my mother is white as a ghost, Mia is crying and both my brother and father look sick.

"And she did this to you? Fuck! Why didn't you tell me, bro? I would have killed that bitch!" Elliot says and I smile sadly.

"At the time, I thought I deserved it and I only now understand that what she did to me was wrong."

"How long did this go on, Christian?" My mother wants to know.

"Six years... it ended when I decided to become a Dominant myself." I confess and hang my head, expecting them to leave.

"So... you are still into this BDSM thing?"

"Yes, Dad... well not so much since I met Ana. She wasn't into the lifestyle before we met and I introduced her to it, but there have never been severe punishments or any of the fucked up shit I used to do before... it... it felt wrong with Ana and I don't need it when she is around. I guess that's why Elena was so desperate to break us up. Look, I know all of you probably have tons of questions and I promise to answer them all, but I need your help Dad."

"Of course, what do you need Christian?" He asks surprising me with his eagerness to help me.

"Elena... she took pictures of me back then, very compromising and frankly disgusting pictures... she took even more without my knowledge at a club when I was already with other women. The police found them when they searched her house earlier. I can't have the media finding out about this... not for me, but for Ana and the child she is carrying. I can't have them go through public humiliation because I have made all the wrong choices."

"How bad are they, Christian?"

"It's pretty fucking bad, Dad... so much so that my reputation would be forever ruined if the media gets a hold of them... I'm sorry, I never thought this would happen and..."

"Christian, listen to me son. You have nothing to be sorry for or apologize about and I won't let this get out. I have made a lot of friends in the right places over the years and I have many favors to cash in. I'm prepared to cash them all in to make sure nothing of this will ever become public knowledge, but in return you have to promise one thing."

"Whatever you want, Dad."

"Starting right now, there will be no more secrets. I want you to know that there is nothing you can't come to me with and the same goes for your mother. Do you understand this? We love you, son and we will always be there for you, so please don't feel like you can't be honest around us."

"I'll try, I promise."

A while later Mia and Mom went home to recover from my confessions and my Dad went to the police station to see what they have found and to try to get a seal on everything, which leaves me alone with my brother.

"Okay, look bro, you have enough on your mind as it is, but I know a bit about BDSM and I need to know have you beat Ana; is that why she broke up with you?"

"No, look, I won't lie. I've spanked her a few times, mostly for pleasure though and I spanked her with some paddles... not wooden paddles just soft leather ones, but nothing beyond that and she always had her safe words to stop me if it was too much for her."

"Okay, then we don't have to bring it up again. Do you need a ride to the hospital? I'm going to pick up Kate, she needs to rest a bit."

"Yes, thanks, Elliot. I shouldn't be driving right now, I can't focus on anything other than Ana and my child." I confess and so we leave, but he is just three blocks away from Escala when I see it.

"Turn around, Elliot, that was Elena!" I yell at him and without me needing to say another word Elliot makes a rather dangerous u-turn and speeds after the red car in which Elena is sitting.

"Call Taylor and the cops, bro!" Elliot tells me when he has caught up with her so we are nearly bumper to bumper with her car.

"Damn it's really her." He hisses when he gets into the lane next to her.

"Fuck, don't drive her off the road! With the speed you are going you kill us too!" I hiss when I see the grim look on his face. I want her dead, I truly want her dead, but I'm damn sure as hell not going down with her.

Finally, I manage to call Taylor so he can track us through my phone and get the cops to follow us too, before I fix my gaze at the car that is now back in front of us again.

"Where the hell is that bitch going?" Elliot mutters when she drives out of the city.

"I don't give a fuck where she is going, but she cannot escape us!" I reply grimly. Elena better pray that the cops will be here soon, because if she stops before they are with us I'm not sure I can be held responsible for my actions.

When we are far out of town and I no longer recognize the area Elena suddenly hits the breaks full force and though Elliot does so too it's no help and we rear end her with such force that I hit my head hard on the dashboard before everything turns black...


	7. Chapter 7

_**I'm awfully busy this week or really for most of June, therefore I decided to post today, because I'm not sure I'll even have time to go online tomorrow…**_

 _ **Also, if you are waiting for an update on Seduction and Broken, I'm working on it, but it might take until the end of the month before I have the next chapters finished…**_

* * *

 _ **Elliot**_

Fuck! What the hell just happened? Oh right, Elena fucking Lincoln... a car chase and then the crash.

"You okay, bro?" I murmur and turn to face him. "Shit! Christian!" I gasp. He is passed out and blood is dripping from a huge cut on his forehead. I quickly check his pulse, but it's there and pretty strong, so I look around for something to stop the bleeding when I see the car door of Elena's car open. _Oh no you don't, bitch!_

Quickly, I get out of my truck and get a sledge hammer from the back.

"Get your disgusting ass on the ground, Elena you are not going anywhere." I yell when she tries to make a run for it, but before she can get away I manage to reach her and shove her to the muddy ground.

"Now, is that a way to treat a lady?" The fucking bitch laughs.

"You are a lot of things, you nasty old cunt, but a lady isn't one of them." I spit back at her.

"Oh Elliot, sweet kind Elliot, we both know you are not going to hurt me. Put that sledge hammer down, you are making a fool out of yourself, your mother has raised you better than that."

"My mother has taught me to treat women with respect and yes, I would never hurt a woman, sadly for you, you are nothing but a bitter, old, pedophile bitch and if I didn't know it would get you off I would have already beaten the bloody hell out of you!" Christ, I'm not a violent person, but knowing what she has done to my brother, Ana and their unborn child is enough for me to make me want to inflict serious pain and damage on her.

"Is that all you can do? Name calling, how sweet... you're not man enough to hurt me and we both know it." She says and an alarmed look crosses her face when she hears the sirens of the police cars coming closer.

"They're coming for you... what are you going to do now, bitch?" I ask and instantly pale when she quickly retrieves a gun from her pocket.

"Get out of my way and get your brother into my car!" She screams at me.

"You have to kill me first!" _Over my dead body will I ever allow her to come near my brother again._

We both hear screeching tires, but she is still eyeing Christian, which is her mistake.

"Gun down!" I hear Taylor's loud, angry voice and when Elena aims at him he shoots the gun right out of her hand, which also has put a hole in her hand, making that old bitch howl in pain.

"Is he alive?" Taylor asks me not taking his eyes of Elena.

"Yes, just passed out from the crash."

"Stay with your brother until the cops arrive." Taylor says deathly calm and stalks over to Elena who is on the ground again crying and clutching her hand. Before I know what is happening Taylor kicks her full force in the face knocking her out cold.

"That's for Miss Steele and the baby you bitch!" He hisses at her, before he continues to handcuff her and kicks the gun out of reach.

I get into the car where Christian is still passed out in his seat and find one of Kate's scarves in the backseat to stop the blood that is still dripping from his head.

"It's over bro, we caught her and I promise from now on I'll make sure to be a better brother, no one is ever going to hurt you again." I say even though I know he can't hear me, but I just had to say it out loud once. I know I can't change what happened, but I still wonder if all of that shit would have happened to him had I made more of an effort to be his friend back when we were kids.

After the paramedics have taken Christian to the hospital and I have talked to the cops, one of Christian's security guys drives me to the hospital, while Taylor promised to get my car towed.

Even though it's getting really late I decide to call my Dad.

"Elliot, is everything alright, you never call this late." My Dad says when he picks up.

"I'm fine, Elena was arrested."

"What, when?" My Dad asks and I explain what happened.

"Shit, is your brother fine?"

"I hope so, the cops needed me to stay and he was still out of it when the paramedics took him to the hospital. I'll call you once I have seen him."

"No need, I was just leaving the precinct, I'm driving to the hospital now. Let your Mom sleep for now, she doesn't need to worry until we know more."

"Sure, see you at the hospital, Dad." I hang up and fifteen minutes later I find my Dad outside the ER.

"Any news on Christian?" I ask.

"They have taken him to the other floor for a MRI. He seems to have a nasty concussion but no internal injuries."

"Good, let me check on Ana real quick, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Heading to the ICU, I have to take the elevator and get in with a guy who is carrying a huge teddy bear.

"New baby?" I ask pointing at the bear.

"Yeah, my sister just had her first child. It's a boy, man I can't wait for the little guy to grow up, so I can take him to sports games and fishing." He says and gets out on the next floor.

Fuck, will I ever get to do anything with my little niece or nephew? I remember how my uncle Ben would take us fishing and hunting back when Christian and I were kids, Mia wasn't into it, so he would take her to do girl shit with her, but even to this day I miss those days. My Mom's brother was the best uncle in the world and I was a mess when he passed away six years ago. He always taught us to stand up for others. So, when he went to a store to buy some groceries one late evening and some drunken asshole came in with a gun he threw himself in front of the teenage girl behind the register and caught the bullet that was aimed at her.

He died before anyone could help him, but to me he died as a hero. I hope I can be as good of an uncle as my uncle was to us.

Inside Ana's room I find her mother sleeping in a chair and Ray still holding Ana's hand.

"Any news?"

"No."

"The baby?"

"Still where it's supposed to be." He says.

"We caught the woman who did this to Ana. She is under arrest."

"Where?" He asks and gets up.

"Ray, don't do anything stupid, she gets what's coming to her and they won't let you near her anyway. If it's any help, Taylor put a bullet hole through her hand before he knocked her lights out by kicking her in the face." I offer, but hell, this is his daughter lying here, fighting for her life and the life of her unborn child, so I really get why he wants to deal with her himself.

"Look at her, she is such a tiny little thing, how could anyone want to hurt her?" He murmurs looking at Ana.

"I don't get it either."

"Where's your brother?"

"He is here, we were on our way here when we saw Elena. It was a bit of a car chase and we crashed. He got a good knock on the head and is still out."

"You okay?" Ray grunts and I smirk.

"I'm fine, takes more than a little fender bender to knock me out." I mutter, maybe it's the adrenaline that keeps me going, but I don't think I have even the tiniest scratch on me.

"I need to check on my brother, he probably won't come to see Ana before tomorrow afternoon, so if you need anything ask the man in black outside, he is one of Christian's security guys, my mom will check on Ana in the morning and Kate will be back in the morning too." I explain, but before leave I step closer to Ana.

"You hang in there little lady... the same goes for you baby Grey, because I'm going to be the best uncle in the world."

A few minutes later I find my Dad and he tells me that Christian is getting situated in a private room as we speak.

"Have you called Mom?"

"I've reached your sister, your mother is sleeping, we decided to let her have some rest and Mia will tell her in the morning. Christian will be fine, I'm staying with him so he won't be alone when he wakes up."

"Dad you look tired..." I want to argue, but he holds one hand up.

"Elliot, I'm a father of three, so I had many sleepless nights over the years. I'm not leaving him. Now you go home to your girlfriend, she needs you too."

"Are you sure?" I ask and he raises one brow.

"Okay, okay... I'm leaving. Call me if something happens with... you know."

He nods, so I leave and the guy called Ryan drops me off at Kate's. I let myself in with the key she has given me a few weeks ago and find her on the sofa curled up in a blanket.

"Hey babe, I'm sorry I'm so late, but we caught the bitch."

"You did? Where is that bitch? Oh please tell me your brother beat her to a pulp!" Kate fires her questions at me while she jumps off the sofa and into my arms.

"Well he didn't, but Taylor shot a hole through her hand and kicked her in the face. Christian was passed out from the crash."

"Crash? What crash, are you hurt?" She asks and starts to run her hands all over me.

"Not that I mind your hands all over me, but I'm really tired and hungry, baby... and no I'm not hurt."

"Okay, I've ordered take out, I can heat it up for you." She says.

"And that's why I love you, baby. Each time I come home you have cold take out waiting for me." I joke and she gives me the stink eye before she heads into the kitchen to heat it up for me.

Truth be told, when I envisioned the girl that would make me want to settle down one day, I always imagined her being a great cook and more of the stay at home mom kind of woman. Yet, Kate is the exact opposite, but I'm crazy in love with her, she is passionate, honest and loyal beyond everything to the people she loves. She doesn't take any of my crap and I guess that is what I need, add the fact that she is smoking hot and likes to fuck just as much as I do and I have found myself the perfect girl.

I just hope that my brother can work things out with Ana. I don't really get the whole Dom/sub thing, but I know he loves her and she loves him, so that should be a good foundation for them to make their relationship work. I don't want my niece or nephew to grow up in a broken home and I truly believe that together they would be great parents and more so a happy family.

 _Hang in there little Grey you already have huge family that loves you unconditionally waiting for you..._

* * *

 _ **Just to clear one thing up, no amnesia for Christian or Ana… there is enough the have to deal with without them suffering from amnesia…**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer: All characters belong to EL James.**_

* * *

 _ **Christian**_

Fuck, my head is pounding. What the hell happened? And just then the memories slowly return. Elliot and I on the way to the hospital... chasing Elena and then the crash. I sit up with a start and hear someone yelping, while I hold my aching head in my hands... _note to myself: avoid quick movements!_

"Fuck, Grey, you scared the living shit out of me!" I hear a somehow familiar voice and blink until my eyes adjust. I'm in a hospital room and sitting in a chair is Kate, fuck is this some weird dream, because she is knitting something.

"It's a baby hat and if you ever tell anyone that I like to knit I will kick your ass." She says and puts whatever she is making down.

"Why are you here?" I ask and she rolls her eyes. _Christ she is annoying as shit._

"Your Dad went home to get some sleep, Elliot had to get his car after the police released it and your Mom is checking on Ana, I offered to sit with you so you are not alone when we wake up. Don't worry your fine, just a concussion and a cut on your forehead."

"How is Ana?"

"No news, but your mother assured me no news are good news, same goes for the baby, hence I decide to knit the baby hat... Ana will probably need a lot of help and won't be able to decorate the nursery and buy baby stuff, I love your sister but if you don't want your kid to wear pink ruffles despite the gender give me a call and I can do some baby shopping... or whatever else Ana needs. I know we don't get along, but she is my best friend and I can tell you love her and she you, so whatever it is you need I'm just a phone call away. From now on you can consider me the best friend you never wanted to have." She says and I find myself laughing at her last statement.

"So she was right, you do have a sense of humor you like to hide from the world." Kate says and I shrug.

"I like to keep people at a distance, but I guess seeing you are Ana's best friend and my brother's girlfriend I can make an exception for you. Where is Elena?"

"Safely tucked away in jail, bitch got stitched up here and had her hearing this morning, the judge denied to let her out on bail. Funny enough every lawyer in town the bitch called to be her lawyer told her he had no time, now she has some fresh out of college wannabe kid that has been assigned to her by the court." Kate says with a very satisfied smirk, which I am sure matches mine.

"I need to see, Ana." I try to get up and the room starts to spin.

"You need to stay in bed, wait until your Mom is back, she will get a wheelchair so you can see Ana, but you have to take things slow, you hit your head pretty hard."

"I don't give a fuck, I need to see Ana, I need to explain to her what she saw..." I stop, not liking that I am about to spill my guts to Kate Kavanagh.

"What do you mean, what she saw, what are you talking about?" Kate asks and I sigh, she'll find out anyway and I am too sore and tired to argue.

"Ana came to my place before Elena ran her over. Elena was there too, she tried to tell me to get over Ana, before I knew what was going on Elena took her coat off, dropped naked to her knees and tried to open my pants. That's what Ana saw when she came in, she ran. I knew running after her would only end up in another fight, so I kicked Elena's naked ass out of my apartment and Taylor filled me in on the fact that Elena has blackmailed Ana to break up with me."

"What a cluster-fuck... you know I really want to be mad at you, but I can't, it's irritating the hell out of me." Kate huffs.

"And why can't you be mad?" I ask even though I don't really care, all I want is to see Ana.

"Because it's sad."

"Sad?"

"You're one of the most successful people in this world, when it comes to success and wealth you have it all, but you're a loner and that's not healthy. Now that good awful woman you considered your only friend turned out to be a bitch, the woman you love is in a coma and the life of your unborn child hangs in the balance... and here you are in the hospital with no friends to visit you... man, you need to find yourself some loyal friends... and before you give me some crap that this is none of my business, it is my business, because I happen to love your brother and he is upset because he knows deep down you are not happy with your life."

"I thought you are a journalist not a shrink." I mutter irritated.

"A good journalist has to be good in reading people, one look at you and I know where you are headed if you don't find a balance in your life."

"And where pray tell am I headed?" I ask getting defensive.

"You'll keel over at fifty with a heart attack during a business meeting, you've lived on the fast lane since you've started your company, it's time for you to hit the breaks and enjoy life, settle down, make friends and just be a normal twenty something guy who is about to be a Dad, because that little one Ana is carrying will need you far longer than you think and I'm sure he or she would be happy for you to meet your grandchildren one day. Let me give you some advise. I'm the daughter of a work-a-holic. My Dad missed school recitals, father-daughter dances at school, hell even my high school graduation. It made me a tough cookie, but it also made me feel like my own Dad is a stranger for all of my life and just seeing Ana with Ray or Mia with Carrick makes me feel like I'm just not that important to my Dad. Don't become that kind of Dad."

"I... I won't." I murmur and before my minds eye the picture of a sad looking little boy with my hair and Ana's eyes starts to build. Him sitting at the window staring out into a rainy Seattle day and Ana behind him telling him that Daddy won't be home in time to kiss him goodnight again... no, this will never be me... and in this moment I make vow to myself that Ana and our child will always come first.

"That's good and maybe just be open to meeting new people and making friends, everyone needs some down time... and I happen to know that your brother would be over the moon if one day you would not just call him your brother, but also your best friend." She says with a wink and gets up to leave when my mother steps in.

I'm sure Kate and I will never become best friends, but I might have misjudged her and I'm not too proud to confess it.

"You are awake... how are you feeling, darling?" My Mom asks and starts to shine a light into my eyes.

"How is Ana?" I ask instead.

"She is stable and her brain swelling has lessened more than we could have hoped for in so little time. The baby is doing fine too, she didn't even spot a tiny bit so far, it doesn't mean they are out of the woods completely, but we are cautiously optimistic that both of them will get through this." She says, but there is a slight frown on her face.

"Mom, what aren't you telling me?"

"The drugs we needed to give Ana to induce the coma... there is a risk that it affects the baby. So there will be a heightened risk that your baby might be born with a physical or mental disability. Some doctors advise to end a pregnan..."

"NO! Mom, no one is going to end this pregnancy, if the child is meant to be born then that's what happens and if the drugs have caused any long term effects then we will deal with it, I can afford the best therapy and doctors to help my child, but an abortion is no option."

"I know, darling. I never even thought Ana or you would consider it, I just wanted to prepare you that Dr. Greene might bring this option up."

"It's not an option. I want to see Ana now." I grumble and try not to think about the fact that my child might be disabled because a woman I considered my friend tried to murder his mother while she was pregnant with him.

"I'll get a wheelchair soon, first I need you to answer me a view question. Do you feel nauseous?"

"No, I have a fucking bad headache though."

"Language young man! Now tell me is your vision blurry?"

"Sorry, Mom and no, my vision is fine."

"Any dizzy spells?"

"No, Mom please, I need to see Ana. When will you get her out of the coma?"

"We don't know yet, it depends on the progress she is making, maybe three or four more days. We don't want to leave her in the induced coma for too long because of the pregnancy and because the longer she is in the coma the harder it might become for her to come out of it."

"Wait, so are you saying that maybe even without the drugs keeping her in the coma she won't wake up?" Fuck, I never even considered that she could drift into a real coma, one where we have no way of waking her up from.

"Christian, I need you to stay calm, most patients come out of a induced coma just fine, it might take a day or two for her wake up once we stop inducing her, but she will wake up. Her brain scan shows normal activity, so that is a very good sign."

"So, no brain damage at all?"

"So far we couldn't find anything that would lead us to believe her brain suffered severe injuries, but to be a hundred percent sure we need to make another scan once the swelling has gone back completely, which should be in a few days. I'll get you something for your headache and then I will take you to see Ana, but only for a little while, you were unconscious for nearly twelve hours, so you will have to stay here until tomorrow, no argument."

"Ana is here, so I wouldn't leave anyway."

Finally, after I have taken the pills my mother handed me, I sit down in the wheelchair, which my mother insists on and she wheels me down the hallway to the ICU and into Ana's room where her mother is giving me some time with Ana.

"Hey baby, you look a lot better, not as pale as you looked yesterday. We caught Elena, you are safe now, she is never going to hurt you or anyone else ever again. I... I can see it now, what she has done to me and that I let her control and manipulate me. I wasn't ready or willing to see it before. I wanted to believe that I'm in control that no one had any power over me, but I was wrong and I almost lost you and our baby because of it. I need you to know that I love you, both of you. It's still weird to say it, not because it's not true, but because I never believed in love. I thought it was nothing but a weakness and it scared me because love leaves you vulnerable and I know if I'm not the Dom in our relationship you will soon figure out that I am nothing but a fuck up... the fucked up son of a crack whore who is not worthy of you. Just... just don't give up on me, I'll try to be a better person for you and our baby." I stop and have no idea why I felt the need to get this all out, but somehow I hope that on an unconscious level she heard me... that we can find a way to someday be a happy family...

* * *

 _ **Coming up next: Ana wakes up!**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Ana**_

I feel like I'm caught in some kind of fog, but slowly drift back into consciousness. I try to open my eyes but only manage to blink a few times before I give up and drift back into a deep slumber.

When I wake up the next time I hear faint voices and a beeping noise like a heart monitor or something. I try to remember what happened or where I am and slowly the memories come back to me... meeting with Taylor... going to Escala... Christian with Elena ready to give him head... me leaving Escala ... and then the car with Elena driving and... and nothing...

"Ana darling, can you hear me?" I hear a gentle voice that sounds oddly familiar.

"Grace?" I croak, oh my throat is so dry, just uttering this one single word is so painful that tears come to my eyes.

"I'm going to put a straw to your mouth, Ana. You have to take small sips, we don't want you to get sick, darling." She says and I was never as grateful for just a few sips of water as I am now.

"That's better, now can you open your eyes for me, sweetheart?" She asks and I blink a few times before I manage to open them, but it's too bright.

"The light... hurts." I whisper.

"It's okay, keep your eyes closed, can you answer a few questions for me?" She asks and I nod slightly.

"Good, so can you tell me your name?"

"Anastasia Rose Steele."

"Very good, now do you know what years it is?"

"2011" _Shit, does she think I'm suffering from amnesia or do I have brain damage?_

"Do you know where you are?"

"Hospital."

"Good, now are you in pain?"

"No, just sore... very sore, how bad is it, Grace?" I ask, I want to know what that bitch has done to me.

"A car hit you."

"Elena." I reply.

"We know, darling, she is under arrest, but we can talk about that later. You have suffered a hairline fracture to your skull, which led to brain swelling and we needed to release fluids that had gathered between your brain and skull. You have a fractured left elbow, right ankle and left wrist, along with fractured and bruised ribs. There has been severe internal bleeding, but it has been fixed. You will make a full recovery, but it will take some time for your to fully heal."

"Has someone called my parents?" _Mom and Ray will be so worried... I don't want them to worry._

"Of course, sweetheart. They have been here with you for the last week."

"Week?" I gasp.

"We kept you in a coma to give your body time to recover from the severe trauma the accident induced."

"Not an accident." I whisper.

"I know, but Elena will get what she deserves, she is not going to get away with this. Your parents and Christian are outside, do you want to see them." She asks and now I do open my eyes, ignoring the harsh light hurting me.

"I don't ever want to see your son again! Tell him to go to hell." I hiss with what little strength I have left.

"Ana... things are different from what you think..."

"No... I... don't want to see him! It's all his fault!" I spit out and the monitors start to beep.

"Please darling, you need to stay calm, I won't let Christian come to see you if this is what you want, but we have to keep your blood pressure down, it's important." Grace says and I nod. As long as I don't have to see that lying piece of shit ever again I will be fine.

 _ **Christian**_

Finally my Mom told me that Ana is awake, I just wish she would finally come out of her room so I can see her. I need to see her, tell her how sorry I am, that I love her and our baby... that I will try to be the best boyfriend and father for them, because that's what Ana and our baby deserve.

"Can I see her?" I ask as soon as my mother steps out of Ana's room.

"Carla, Ray, why don't you go in and talk to your daughter." She says instead and stops me from following them.

"Mom, please I need to see Ana!" _Why the hell is she stopping me? I need to see my girl!_

"Christian darling, you need to listen to me... Ana, she doesn't want to see you. She got very upset when I told her you are here to see her and we can't risk her to get upset, she is still very fragile and with the baby we also can't risk for her blood pressure to rise. Give her some time, she just woke up maybe tomorrow..."

"No! I need to see her now!" I demand.

"Christian, as your mother I do understand that you want to see her, but as a doctor I have to act in my patients best interest. If Ana's blood pressure rises, it can cause harm to the baby and we can't let that happen. It is a miracle that the baby has survived, please give her some time until she is ready to see you." My mother says and if it wasn't for her mentioning that me going to see Ana could harm both her and our unborn child I would storm inside that room and demand for us to talk things out.

"Has she told you why she doesn't want to see me?"

"No, I'm so sorry, darling."

"Does she know... about the baby?"

"I haven't told her. You know, we agreed to wait for a few days until she feels a bit better and had some time with her family before we tell her, she is just eight weeks along, so it's likely she didn't know she is pregnant when ... the accident happened."

"Okay... just keep me updated." I murmur and leave the hospital. I want to stay, but I can't risk to upset her and put her and the baby at risk by doing so... Still the bitter thought crosses me that Elena has won yet again.

 _ **Ana - Four days later**_

"There, see you can do it!" My nurse Heather says cheerfully and I want to roll my eyes. I was just allowed to get out of bed for the first time. While it was a relieve to finally use the bathroom and not being left with no choice but to use a bedpan, it has been an ordeal to get to the bathroom. With one arm and one foot in a cast, as well as being strapped in and bandaged due to my cracked ribs and incision on my stomach I needed two nurses to help me keep my balance and it was more like them carrying me than me actually walking.

"I feel like I'm ninety years old." I pout and she laughs.

"It will get easier the more you try, we have to get you back on your feet, young lady." She says making me giggle. Heather is only ten years older than me, but from the first time we met here she acted like a mother towards me.

"So, you have some physical therapy in the afternoon and before that Dr. Greene will stop by." She says and I frown.

"Dr. Greene? Why do I need to see my OB/GYN?" I ask confused, I know about all my injuries, but at least with that part of my body and intestines all is fine.

"Oh umm... I'll be right back." She says and instead of her my mother and Grace return with Kate. _Okay, something isn't right here..._

"What is going on?" I ask and both Grace and my Mom look at each other and shift uncomfortably, so Kate steps forward and takes my hand. _Shit this is bad..._

"Kate, please what is going on, did I suffer more injuries than I was told... I mean they didn't have to get it all out? I still can have kids right?" I ask suddenly feeling panic rising. I mean, I don't want kids for a few more years, but I want to be a mom one day.

"Ana, stop sweetie, it's okay. You can still have kids... actually ... well, you are having a baby Ana." She says. My mouth drops open and my hands instinctively fly to my belly.

"A baby... are you kidding me? I'm on birth control and ... is this really true?" I ask and look at my mother and Grace for confirmation.

"It's true Ana, you are pregnant, darling." My mother says and I can't help it I start to cry.

"Ana please, you don't have to cry, we are all there for you and..."

"Mom, I'm not upset... I mean the timing is terrible... but this is a good thing, right?" I get out through my tears and all three women sigh in relief.

"It is, Ana... now Christian..."

"NO! Grace, I'm sorry to say this in front of you, but Christian will never come anywhere near my child. Not as long as I am alive."

"Ana, he is the father." My mother gasps.

"Yeah, and what a father he will be. No, absolutely not. Believe me none of you knows what I know about Christian and my child will never be objected to a person like that."

I know they must think I have lost my mind to actually consider keeping a child from his father, but I just can't allow him to have part in raising this child. He considered a child molester his friend and worse, they never stopped their disgusting affair. I want to believe that I know the real Christian, the man who deep down is kind and caring, but just so broken that he hides behind his cold exterior, but after seeing him with Elena just moments before she tried to kill me, I have to question if he was ever honest with me to begin with.

If their affair continued and all of his subs didn't know about it, it's just disgusting. He cheated on me with a freaking pedophile and believes she is his friend. I'm sure even now he has his lawyers working to find a way to get her out of jail. Hell, for all that I know the entire blackmail story was just a scheme for them to get rid of me and when I saw them together they feared I would out them, so they had to act quick to get rid of me. I don't want to believe this is what happened, but I don't know and right now, I just can't face Christian.

Seeing him with that horrible woman, when I thought he truly wanted me back... it just hurts so bad. And then there's the fact that he doesn't do love. He wants to possess and dominate the women in his life. Suppose our child is a girl, do I truly want her to be raised by a father who believes men stand above women? Do I want her to witness her father treat my like his property only for her to grow up and find a man who treats her the same? No, that's not what I want and if it's a boy, I don't want him to be raised to have the same view on women as his father...

I have to protect my child and as much as it hurts, in this moment I feel like Christian is a threat to us, so I have to keep him away from us... at least until I am strong enough to face him...

 _ **I know some of you won't like Ana's reaction, but we all know what they say about making assumptions, right?**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hi guys… so many opinions on Ana's reaction… so let's clear the air a little, shall we?**_

 _ **First of all, I fully agree with those of you who said that no mother has a right to keep a father from his child. Still, I think we have to cut Ana some slack here. At this point of the story, Ana doesn't know that Christian is trying to change for her or that he is in love with her. She only knows what she saw and experienced when she was his sub and of course Elena's poor attempt to seduce Christian.**_

 _ **So, basically, to her the father of her unborn child is not only friends a with pedophile and doesn't see how wrong it was for Elena to introduce him to BDSM at the age of fifteen, but she also has to believe, that they never ended their affair. To me, knowing or believing that the father of her child is involved with a pedophile at least justifies her initial reaction of wanting to protect her baby, even if it means keeping Christian from meeting his child once it is born. And lastly, she just woke up from a coma and is still severely injured, so give her some time to think and I promise she will come to the right conclusion on her own…**_

 _ **Another topic that was highly discussed and critized is Ana's view on how Christian's lifestyle aka being a BDSM Dominant is going to influence the baby. I agree with those who said, that she must have seen, that he does not treat women in generell as second class people. But, he sure treated her that way when he made her sit at his feet and fed her like a dog in front of Elena. In addition, (and now I am making assumptions ;-) ) Christian was taught BDSM by Elena, a woman who thought it is perfectly normal to turn a troubled fifteen year old boy into her submissive and to have sex with a child. So, he was never allowed to learn and understand the lifestyle in its true nature and instead learned from her twisted view of it. So, when Ana became his sub, 90 % of the time she only saw Dominant Christian, no matter if they were in or outside of the playroom. At this point, she still has to believe, that if she returns to him and they raise their child together, the child will see how he orders her around and goes all Dominant on her, even if it is not in a sexual context, which is what she has experienced with him so far and was ok with her, because it was just between them. She feels different about that now, because of course, for a child to witness such behavior would be not a good influence. I can assure you though that they will talk and the might even start some kind of communication in chapter 11...**_

* * *

 _ **Grace**_

Arriving at Escala I don't know what to think. Hearing Ana say that she doesn't want my son to see his child was a shock. For a second I wanted to yell at her, tell her she has no right to do that, but then I saw it. I saw something in her eyes I only know to well and that was the overwhelming need to keep her child safe. She was genuinely worried for the well being of her child, should it ever be near Christian.

I want to say I know my son, but if the recent events have shown me anything, than it is that my son is very good in keeping secrets. This has to stop now, I won't allow my grandchild to grow up without his father.

Once I get out of the elevator I am greeted by Taylor.

"Good afternoon, Taylor. I need to speak to my son."

"He is upstairs, Ma'am." He says and I follow him. As I am climbing the stairs I can hear my son cussing up a storm and I am surprised to find his voice coming from what he told us is a storage room. Taylor motions for me to go through and when I open the door I can't help but smile. Christian is in the middle of the room, his clothes splashed with cream and light green colored paint, the faint smell of fresh paint still in the air and he is trying to put a crib together.

"Fucking hell... damned piece of crap." He mutters under his breath when he doesn't get the screw in.

"May I offer my help?" I ask to make my presence known and he turns around.

"Mom, hi ... umm... thank you, but I have to do this myself, I want to. It's important." He says and gets up to kiss my cheek, careful not to get any paint on me.

"You want to decorate the nursery all by yourself?" I ask.

"It's not the real nursery... this... umm... it used to be my playroom... in the context of BDSM." He says clearly embarrassed.

"Oh... well, I'm not sure that it is appropriate to have your child sleep in a room that you previously used for... well..." I stop, not wanting to make this conversation anymore awkward.

"It's more of a symbol, Mom. I want to show Ana that I want to change, that I am committed to us raising our child together... do you think she'll like it?" He asks and my heart breaks a little knowing what I have to tell him next.

"Ana knows."

"What?"

"She has to see Dr. Greene today, so we had to tell her that she is pregnant." I explain.

"How did she react?"

"Good, better than anyone could expect. Of course she said the timing isn't great seeing her age and present condition, but she seemed to be happy about the baby."

"Does she want to see me now?" He asks and there is so much hope in his eyes that I have to fight back tears.

"No... Christian we need to talk. Ana... she said she doesn't want you anywhere near her child, she wants to raise the baby on her own. She said there are things we don't know about you and that she doesn't want you to be a part of the baby's life because of it."

I watch as my son takes this news in and then he sits down on the floor and just stares at his hands.

"She gave up on me." He whispers more to himself than me.

"Darling, I don't think Ana has given up on you... it's more like she is scared to face you and that is why I need to know what happened. Please Christian, no more secrets. I want to help you, but to do so I need to know what happened. Why does Ana believe having you around will have a bad influence on your child." I ask and for the longest time he remains silent.

"Because I am... or would have been. I can change, Mom. I just need her to give me a chance." He says.

"Christian, I know you are going to be wonderful father. Still, I don't understand why Ana would feel any different about this."

"Mom, look we didn't have a normal relationship. Fuck, I've been such a dick. Ana she... well she's never been with anyone else. I was her first and what I offered to her wasn't a normal relationship. We had a contract, rules and all you have seen, when I brought her with me for lunch or dinner at your place, it was all just me putting on a show. She had clear rules how to behave and it just was nothing but acting." He says and I'm shocked.

"What do you mean you had a contract with her?"

"In BDSM there are contracts involved. Both parties have to sign the contract if they decide to get involved. There are rules, limits, punishments... it's all mapped out and agreed on. In hindsight, I have to admit that Ana really didn't have much of an idea what she was getting herself into and at the time I liked that fact, because it gave me the chance to train her after my liking. There have been a few incidents..."

"Incidents?" I gasp, good grief all of this sounds so detached and completely alien to me. I saw them together and thought they were happy...

"Mostly due to Elena's interference. She challenged me because she thought I was going easy on Ana and one weekend when she stopped by, I just had enough of her questioning my skills as a Dominant... Ana and I had dinner and we were just talking, laughing and enjoying ourselves, but then Elena stopped by. To prove a point to her I made Ana sit at my feet and fed her like a dog while Elena was watching. I know she was upset, but I never apologized, because within the rules of BDSM it wasn't out of line. Another time I had a long phone call with Elena and she really pissed me off, so instead of cutting all ties with Elena, I ordered Ana into the playroom and punished her. She never complained about anything... but looking back I can see it now." He says, stops to get up and stare out of the window.

"When I met Ana, I wanted her because she was different, she was so young and beautiful, funny and full of life. She was like a ray of light in my world of darkness, but over time she changed. She became very silent, she wouldn't laugh or giggle as much as she used to and I didn't want to see it. I didn't want to confess to myself that I wasn't making her happy. When the contract ended and I offered her a new one, she didn't sign. Elena blackmailed her so she couldn't, but she didn't tell me. What she told me instead... I didn't want to listen then, but I do understand now and she was right. I wasn't giving her what she needed, because I was selfish and only wanted things to go my way. But I made things worse the day Elena tried to murder her."

"How?" I ask not sure I can take to hear much more of this.

"She wanted to start a new job, so she wouldn't have to work for a company owned by me any longer. I told her she had to work at SIP for another six weeks, knowing that she wouldn't get the other job if she did. She was so mad at me and later... Elena came to my place, I wanted to kick her out and she took her coat off... she was completely naked underneath and dropped to her knees in front of me. She was trying to open my pants, for a second I was too shocked to react. Ana came in just then. Taylor had convinced her to tell me about Elena's blackmail and when she came in she must have thought that Elena and I... that we were intimate... I guess that explains why she doesn't want to see me." He says and for a moment I don't know what to say.

"Christian, I want to help you, but I need to make one thing perfectly clear. You need to change, I know you say you are trying and I believe you, but I need your promise. Because the way you treated Ana was appalling. Now you may had her consent, but I don't care, because now there is a child involved and I don't want my grandchild to grow up believing it is okay to order women around or treat them like second class people. The moment this innocent little baby is born you are his role-model, the standards and morals you set for them have a tremendous effect on the person this tiny baby will become one day. Imagine it is a girl, do you want your daughter to grow up thinking it is okay to be treated like a dog in front of others?" I stop, I don't want to upset my son anymore than he already is, but I cannot believe he would do that to another person, much less so to a beautiful young woman who so obviously was head over heels in love with him.

"I know, Mom. Believe me, the very same thought has been on my mind constantly. I want to be the best role model for my child. I don't care if it is a boy or a girl, all I want is for this child to grow up to be a happy person and not such a fucked up piece of shit like I am."

"Stop! Do you hear me? I do not ever want to hear you referring to yourself like that again. You are a wonderful person, Christian. I know you are and I am so sorry that I ever allowed such a vile person like Elena anywhere near you, but you have to see that she filled your head with lies. The only way for her to remain in constant in your life was by alienating you from everyone who wanted to make you believe that there is more waiting for you than contracted relationships and being in a lifestyle I am sure she has never allowed you to understand in its true nature. As long as you see yourself in such a negative way, she still has power over you. There is still enough time to make things right with Anastasia before your child is born, but if you talk to her still believing that you are not worthy of her, she won't see anything but empty promises. So starting now, you will stop this, understand? You will get up every morning look into mirror and tell yourself that you are the best thing that has ever happened to her and that you are going to be the best father for your child... because if you believe in yourself, than you can make her believe in you, too."

"Mom I don't know how to do that." He says and hangs his head, so I step closer and take his hand.

"You have to believe in yourself and I know it's hard, but you can do this. Do you know why your Dad and I decided to adopt?" I ask, maybe hearing my story will help him understand.

"No."

"I was twenty when I got married, still in college just like your Dad and after I got my license and your Dad started to work for his father we decided it was the right time to start a family. I miscarried six times within a little over two years. It was so heart breaking and I thought I was never going to be a mother. Then I got pregnant again with twins and I lost them nearly five months into the pregnancy. After that we were told not to try again and I drifted into a severe depression. I felt like I was caught in darkness and there was no way out. I saw a psychiatrist, had to take drugs to help me cope and just felt detached from anything. My mother was so worried, she went to her minister and asked him to visit me. He did and he told me something that stayed with me. He said if God wanted me to be a mother, it doesn't mean that I have to give birth to the children that are supposed to be mine, he said I would just know when I see them and that God has a reason for everything. That day was a changing point in my life. I started to believe that no matter what, I was going to be a mother and then God blessed me with the three most amazing children any parent could ask for. So, I want you to believe too. Give Ana time to recover from her injuries and use this time to find to yourself and when both of you are ready, sit down and talk."

"What if she won't listen to me, Mom, or what if she finds someone else in the meantime? What if she simply forgets about me?"

"Oh Christian, don't be silly, she is carrying your child, she won't forget about you or just move on when her focus is to heal." I try to convince him, because even though Ana deserves to know the truth, I feel like at this point they both need time for themselves before they can try to work things out between them and move on into a happy future...

* * *

 _ **P.S.: No pins for this chapter so far, but I will try to find some this evening…**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Early update… I'm out of town all day tomorrow so I thought I post this today…**_

 _ **Oh and one of feared I was going to turn Christian into a completely different… don't worry, I like overprotective, megalomaniac Christian a lot …**_

 _ **And to all of you from the US: Happy 4th of July!**_

* * *

 _ **Ana - 8 weeks later**_

"Mom, I'm fine, I promise I'm good to return to work." I want to roll my eyes at her, but stop myself from doing so. I know she is just worried, but I'm ready to return to normal. Sadly, the magazine who wanted to hire me as an editor had to look for someone else, because they couldn't leave the position vacated until I am cleared to work again. However, since I never got the chance to quit my job at SIP, I still have a job and I really want to work again.

Yesterday my last cast has been removed and I was finally cleared to return to work on Monday. All of my injuries are healed, though I still have to watch my scar closely. It's healed, but with me being pregnant my Doctors are concerned that with my growing belly it might open again. So, I have to have regular check ups and was advised to see a doctor if it changes in color or causes me any discomfort. In addition Doctor Greene gave me an ointment that is supposed to help too.

Yesterday also marked a milestone in my pregnancy, as I am now officially in my second trimester. My belly has popped out a bit, but I can still hide it with my clothes and I hope that I can hide it a bit longer so I don't have to answer any questions about it for a while. Another huge change in my life is that Kate has moved in with Elliot and is now renting the apartment we shared to me and my new roommate... my mom.

I never thought I would live with my mother again, but she has filed for divorce and was in need of a new place to live. With me being pregnant she wanted to move to Seattle and now we split the rent between us and both try to adjust to sharing space when we really haven't lived together since I was fifteen. I have to say it's a bit weird, but I'm also very proud of my Mom, because she has managed to land herself a good job at a boutique not far from here.

"Sweetheart, I know you want to work again, but I'm just worried that you are going back too soon."

"Mom, I've been on sick leave for way too long, it's time to go back. Besides, with this little one here I need the money." I say and caress my tiny bump.

"Oh who's that?" My Mom says and this time I do roll my eyes. Ever since I am back home each morning either Sawyer or Taylor stop by with flowers or little presents Christian sends me. At first I was really annoyed, but with each passing day, I had more time to think and now I actually think it's sweet that he is giving me space. This is just his way of making sure that I won't forget about him.

Though to be honest he has been on my mind constantly. At first Kate, Elliot, Mia, and even Carrick tried to get me to talk to him, but I wouldn't budge or even listen to them. We reached an agreement not to talk about Christian anymore when I promised that eventually I would talk to him, I just wasn't ready yet. Still, I know that I can't keep him at a distance forever. After all I'm carrying his child and our baby has a right to have both of us in his life.

I open the door to find Taylor holding a beautiful bouquet of wild flowers.

"Hi Taylor, come in... fancy a coffee?"

"That would be great, Ana." He says, so I usher him in and place a steaming mug of coffee in front of him.

"How was your doctor's appointment?" He asks.

"Great, I've been officially cleared to return to work on Monday."

"That is good news. How is the little one doing?"

"The baby is doing great, what little morning sickness I had finally passed, so from now on I can enjoy this pregnancy until I'm huge and want it to be over." I tell him and pour myself an orange juice.

"Glad to hear it... so I guess I'm just going to tell you, but with you returning to work, I will have Sawyer follow you around. He is already following you, but I thought I let you know." He says and I stare at him.

"Why?"

"Elena Lincoln might be in jail, but that doesn't mean that she won't use her contacts to harm you again. I'm not going to take any risks, plus you won't be able to hide your pregnancy forever, once the news that you are carrying the Grey heir is out, the media will be trying to get pictures of you and of course the crazies will try to get a piece of Mr. Grey's fortune by threatening your safety and the safety of your child. I know you dislike this, but please don't make my job harder than it has to be." He says, I really want to argue, but he is right, I'm carrying the child of a well-known billionaire and once this becomes known, I might not be able to protect me and the baby by myself.

"Okay... so, how is Christian." I ask surprising both Taylor and myself, because I have never asked about him, but I guess I have to start letting him in, even if it is by just asking about him.

"He is doing fine, I talked to him on the phone this morning and he has plans to return to Seattle next week or the week after that." He says.

"Where is he?"

"He is in Aspen, has been for almost five weeks now."

"Wow I had no idea, what is he doing there?"

"Therapy." Taylor says and shifts uncomfortably.

"Therapy?" I ask completely surprised... no one told me and what kind of therapy?

"Yes, look it's not my place to say, but that old bitch had her claws in him for over a decade. She filled his head with lies and manipulated him. He knows it now, but it's hard to get over shit like that, so he took a time out and his shrink recommended a different therapist, one who has some sort of intense therapy that requires daily sessions as well as time away from his normal routine. That's what he is doing now." He says and I sit down. _Okay Ana, it's time just ask Taylor, you can trust him._

"Taylor... Christian and _she_ did they have an affaire while he was seeing me?"

"No, absolutely not, but I'm not the one you should be talking to about that Ana. I have to leave now, call me if you need anything." He says.

"Please wait a moment." I stop him grab my purse and retrieve the latest sonogram picture of the baby, which has been made a little over a week ago.

"Can you make sure he gets this picture?" I ask and Taylor smiles at me.

"I have it couriered to him, so he'll have it this evening." He says and leaves.

"Don't expect too much... I don't know what this means, little one." I murmur and rub my belly.

The more I have thought about Christian in the last couple of weeks, the more my initial assumptions started to become idiotic to me. I might not know much about Christian, but I do know that he would never do anything to harm me. Still, my worries of raising a child with him, when he has been friends with a pedophile for so long and defended what she has done to him is very much prominent. I know he is a victim and that she has probably brainwashed and groomed him to believe what she has done to him was in his best interest, but I'm just scared that one day our child will be fifteen and some pervert will seduce him or her while Christian can't see how wrong it is. Maybe with him trying a different type of therapy he will finally understand that what she has done to him was wrong… that Elena Lincoln has never been his friend, but a predator who took advantage of a vulnerable boy who was desperately trying to find his place in this world.

I wanted to tell him…wanted to talk to him, but I'm afraid I will just fall for anything he is going to tell me, because part of me still desperately wants to be with him. Yet, I don't want to give in, because it's no longer just me and I have to make the best decision for my child… but deep down I know that the best decision is to talk this out with him so we can raise our baby together…

 _ **Christian**_

"Sir? Mr. Taylor sent this to you by courier." Mrs. Roberts says while I am sitting outside by the pool reading.

"Thank you, Mrs. Roberts." I reply and take the envelope. I open it and read the note first.

 _Sir,_

 _Miss Steele is cleared to return to work on Monday, she agreed to have Sawyer with her as security. No news about the start of the trial. GEH is running smoothly according to Ms. Bailey. I have couriered this news to you to enclose something Miss Steele wanted you to have._

 _J. Taylor_

Carefully I retrieve a picture from the envelope and turn it around. At first I have no idea what I am looking at, until it becomes clear when I read her name, the date and the words Baby Grey on top of the pictures. And there it is, my child... wow, it's so much bigger than the last time I saw it on the sonogram while Ana was still unconscious. It really does look like a baby now... tiny, but already a real human being. And more so, Ana wanted me to have it. Still, I know I can't get my hopes up to high. I reach for my phone to send her a text, but pause for a moment... maybe it's too soon, but hell, we haven't had any contact since she woke up from the induced coma.

I take my phone and decide to send her a simple text instead of an e-mail.

 _ **** Thank you for the sonogram picture. It means a lot to me. C.****_

Before I can over think this, I hit send and put my phone back on the small table next to my lounger, because I don't expect any reply, so I actually jump in my seat when my phone beeps with an incoming text message.

 _ **** Glad Taylor was able to sent it to you. Maybe we can meet when you are back? A.****_

I nearly drop my phone when I see her reply. She wants to meet... fuck, this could go either way... maybe she just wants to talk or maybe she wants to tell me to fuck off forever... I guess I only have one option to find out.

 _ **** Sure, can I call you when I'm back? C.****_ Her reply comes in just seconds later.

 _ **** OK, but I'll return to work next week, so it's best if you call me early in the morning or after work... A.****_

 _ **** Will do... and please don't overdo it at work... take things slow, please. C.****_

 _ **** Yes, Dad ;-) Take care, A.****_

I sit there grinning like an idiot still staring at her last text, when I hear the clicking of high heels and see my new therapist Autumn Miller walk towards me. At first I was apprehensive when Flynn wanted me to meet with her. He was adamant though and I caved, willing to do whatever it takes to get to a better place. So, I met with her and found out why Flynn wanted me to meet her.

Autumn is not only a therapist, but she is also openly involved in the BDSM lifestyle with her partner Megan. They are both switches, meaning they exchange roles in the playroom. She has been with Megan for eleven years now and together they have two beautiful children, a boy called Easton and a girl called Charlotte. They have been living in Aspen for ten years now and live an normal life. I still find it fascinating to see how their relationship works. If one would meet them no one would ever expect that they are involved in the lifestyle.

"What has you smiling like you just hit the jackpot?" She asks and sits down on the lounger opposite mine.

"Ana sent me this." I show her the picture of my baby and she smiles.

"You know, this little one is going to challenge you unlike anything in your life before. It will take your life and spin it around in ways you never thought possible. Becoming a parent will make you see things completely different, it will be the best thing for you." She says and even though she basically described total loss of control, I now believe she is right. Yes, being in control... or to be allowed to believe I am in total control is what helped me gain success in my chosen career, however it also cost me many normal experiences a man my age should have gathered by now. Normal things like dating, hanging out with friends, hell even having friends, because the sad truth is, the only people in my life who are close to me are either family or on my payroll. Even the women I was with over the years were contracted and dismissed like a fired employee once I had enough of them.

"Can't wait for it." I reply with a smile.

"Good, so this is a start, right?"

"It's even better. I sent Ana a text to thank her and she replied asking me to meet when I'm back in Seattle. Maybe there is hope for us yet." I say a bit cautiously.

"Well, let's see you are young, easy to look at and rich as fuck, what's not to love?" She asks and I laugh. At first I was irritated with her lack of professionalism. She talks like she wants, has no problem to call me out on my bullshit and she sure as fuck doesn't take any crap. Surprisingly, having a shrink who doesn't act like one is just what I needed. Hell, on our second day of therapy she called me a spoiled brat with mommy issues, which of course made me fly off the handle, but she just sat there and listened while I cussed like a drunken sailor. When I noticed that she was just sitting there watching me I stopped and we talked.

She even went so far as to tell me that I only use BDSM to punish my dead mother for not protecting me and that the sex is just an extra since I never learned to have a healthy relationship with a woman, due to the way Elena introduced me to sex. Of course, hearing that I wanted to throw her out again, but she wasn't having it.

Instead she pulled out two chairs and made me sit in one of them. Then she made me face the other chair and imagine Ella was sitting there. She wanted me to tell her how I feel about her, but I refused. I refused to do it for a whole week until one day she sat down in the chair telling me to imagine she was Ella. That did the trick, I don't know why but focusing on another human being made it easier for me and I let it all out, I yelled, I cursed and I told her how much I hate her for not protecting me, for dying the way she did and most of all for leaving me alone.

Autumn then proceeded to take on Ella's role, to give her a voice as she said. What she said still echoes in my mind.

 _I was too young when I had you, just a scared child with a baby. I was scared and all alone, I didn't know where to turn to and I trusted the wrong people. I was just fifteen when I had you and I am sorry that I couldn't protect you, but I was too far gone to see what was happening. I know that I've neglected you, that I wasn't a good mother, but I loved you and I want you to be happy, you have to let go of all the hate and anger towards me to have a happy future..._

I don't even know why, but that night I dreamed of Ella. Not a nightmare, but a memory of my childhood I always pushed back. It was my 4th birthday... she baked me a cake, took me to a playground and we had mac and cheese for dinner. When she put me to bed she told me everything was going to be okay, that she found a way to save me... to give me a better life. I woke up after that, but I do remember the rest all to well, because the next morning when I got out of bed, I found her on the living room floor... dead. And it wasn't until I had this dream that I knew, my mother didn't overdose by accident, she took her own life to give me a better life, because to her it was the only way out she had.

For the first time since I was a small child I cried about losing my mother that morning. I cried until I had no strength left and just curled up in bed, still struggling with the sudden realization that my mother loved me. Yes, she was neglectful and she didn't protect me, but she couldn't even protect herself, she was just as trapped in this nightmare we called our life as I was. I spent the entire day just lying in bed thinking about her and the few good memories of her that I have became more prominent... when the next morning came I finally got up and somehow I felt more at peace than I ever had before, something had shifted inside me and I realized it was because I was ready to forgive her.

And by forgiving her, I was finally ready to move on with my life. I might not become a better person over night, but now I do believe that I can have a normal happy life if I really try...

* * *

 _ **If the part about Christian dreaming of how Ella passed away sounds familiar to you, it's because after writing this chapter I used the same idea for Broken II…**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Ana - Two weeks later**_

"Bye Claire, see you on Monday." I wave at Claire who is sitting behind the receptionists desk at SIP and leave the building to find Luke Sawyer standing outside.

"Hi Luke, do you mind giving me a ride? My car made some weird noises this morning and I'm afraid Wanda is going to die on me in the midst of traffic." I confess and he smiles.

"I'll fetch my car, please wait here, Ana." He says and true to his word he parks at the curb just two minutes later. I hate to admit it, but I think Wanda is no longer fixable and with the baby, I'm in desperate need of a safer car. Ethan offered to help me find one, but I just don't have the money to spare... at least not for a safe car, there is just so much other stuff I need to buy first.

"I have called Taylor, he has a friend who is going to tow your car to a garage and have it checked."

"You didn't have to do that."

"My job is to keep you safe and to be honest, each time you get into that car I break out into a sweat." He says making me laugh. Christian wanted to sell Wanda for me, but I asked him to let me keep her. It's my first car and a gift my Dad gave me, it just has too much sentimental value.

"I think your phone is vibrating, Ana." Luke interrupts my thoughts and I fish it out of my purse. When I see Christian's name flashing on the screen my belly flips and my palms get sweaty, but I answer the call.

"Hi." I murmur, mad at myself that my voice sounds so weak.

"Hi, it's good to hear your voice." He says and I close my eyes for a brief moment when I hear his voice.

"Are you back?"

"No, I'm still in Aspen, I'll be back Sunday evening though. Ana I would like for us to talk. I have a new therapist here in Aspen and she thinks it would be beneficial for us to have a session together."

"Is she coming with you to Seattle?"

"No, but if you want to, I can have my jet waiting for you tomorrow morning to get you to Aspen. We can fly back Sunday late afternoon."

"Christian, I don't think an overnight stay at your place is a good idea."

"I can book you a suite at a hotel, you can bring your Mom or Kate get pampered or shop a bit, all I'm asking for are two to three hours tomorrow afternoon. Autumn, my therapist will be there the entire time and I have a housekeeper here who will also be at the house, so we won't be alone tomorrow." He says and I think about it for a moment. He is trying and I have to make an effort too, after all we will have a child together in just a few months and I know I can't just shut him out of our baby's life forever.

"My mom has to work tomorrow and Kate is going on a weekend trip with Elliot, but I would like to see you... so yes, I'll be there."

"Thank you, Ana. I'll send you the details of your flight schedule once I have everything arranged. Do you have any preferences for your hotel suite?"

"I've never been to Aspen, Christian. A normal room at a hotel close to your house will do, I don't need anything fancy."

"I'll make the arrangements. My housekeeper will prepare lunch for us, is there anything you can't eat?"

"Oh umm... I have a list with things I am not allowed to eat on my phone, I'll send it to you, and please no fish. Just the smell of fish makes me nauseous."

"No fish then."

"Good, so ... see you tomorrow. Bye."

"Bye Ana."

I hang up and deflate into my seat. "Everything alright, Ana?"

"Yes, I'm going to Aspen tomorrow to meet with Christian and his new shrink."

"OK, I'll pick you up to take you to the airport." He says and I just nod. This is it, in less than 24 hours I am going to see Christian again.

 _ **Christian**_

I hang up and beam like I have just won the fucking lottery. I was sure she wouldn't come here, that she would tell me to fuck off, but she agreed.

"Told ya." I hear Autumn behind me and I flip her off.

"I need to make some arrangements, she doesn't want to stay here." I tell her.

"Does that upset you?" She asks and I think about it for a moment.

"No, she doesn't trust me right now, I have to earn her trust again. So, I can understand that she doesn't want to spend the night at my house. I'm just happy she agreed to come at all. It's not like she has to."

"No, but I do believe she is trying to act in the best interest of your child. Now lets go through this again. What are the rules?" She asks and I roll my eyes.

"I can't force her or demand for her to be with me again. I have to listen to what she is saying and I have no right to take over her life just because she is the mother of my unborn child." I mutter petulantly.

"But..." She points out.

"But I can tell her that I won't allow her to shut me out of our child's life."

"Because?" She says and I glare at her.

"Because it is not just her child and as the father I have as much rights to be a part of my child's life as she has." I repeat what she has told me. Still it feels wrong, because I want them both in my life and I am afraid that making any demands will push Ana away from me.

"Good, so I'll be back tomorrow around 2 pm, don't over think this too much, Christian. Ana decided to come, that's a good sign and I do believe that once you have cleared the air you can work on either building a healthy relationship or strong friendship to raise this child together." She says and leaves.

To keep myself busy I start to make arrangements for Ana and once it's all done I send her an e-mail and give the food list she has sent me to Mrs. Roberts.

I'm just about to get me a glass of wine when Sawyer calls.

"Sir, I had Miss Steele's car towed to a garage, the mechanic just called, the car needs a new engine, breaks and what not, it's no longer road worthy." He says and my first instinct is to tell him that I will buy a new car for Ana, but I restrain myself.

"Have him fix it, Ana loves that car."

"Sir..." He wants to argue and I sigh.

"I know even fixed it's not safe, but she loves the car. I will talk to her, if she agrees I will buy her a new car, but for now get that piece of shit fixed."

"Will do, Sir." He says and hangs up.

Shit, this is why it is so hard for me not just to barge in and take over. I know Ana is well paid in her job, I made sure of it, but she has little to no savings, so she won't be able to afford a new car, all the stuff our baby will need and whatever else she needs right now. It would be easy for me to deposit money into her account or just buy whatever she needs and have it send to her place, but I know now I can't do that without talking to her about it first. This is why I want to have this conversation with her.

I want her to know that I'm excited about the baby, that I have already set up a college fond and made plans to move, because even if she doesn't give me second chance, I want our child to have a real home when it stays with me. Escala is great as a bachelor pad, but it's not a place to raise a child. So, I have bought a house at the sound, with a huge meadow and enough space for ten kids to run around and have a great time. Of course, I want it to be our home, but if Ana doesn't agree, I want to gift the house to her and build a home for me on the neighboring plot, so our child can just come next door if he wants to see me.

No matter what will happen, I will make sure that I am a constant in the life of my child and Ana's life. Maybe then she will see that I can be the man she deserves and we can move on into a happy future.

 _ **Ana**_

When Luke pulls up in front of Christian's Aspen home I feel a little sick. This is it, I can no longer avoid seeing him and I know this conversation is not going to be easy.

"We are here." Luke says as he opens the door for me and I get out. I don't know why, but today I have chosen an outfit to show off my belly. I usually hide it with wider clothes, because I don't want the office gossip to circle around me, but for some weird reason, I want Christian to see that I am carrying his child.

I get out of the car and Luke leads me to the door. I knock and an older woman with kind brown eyes and a big smile opens the door.

"Hello dear, I'm Mrs. Roberts. Come in." She says.

"Hi, I'm Ana." I reply as I get in and she leads me into the open living space until we are in front of a fire place.

"Mr. Grey and his therapist will be with you shortly, can I get you something, dear?"

"Um... maybe a lemon soda with a little bit of mint in it."

"Helps with the nausea?" She smiles and I nod, so she walks away while I sit down on the sofa.

"So, you must be Ana, I'm Autumn, Christian's therapist." I hear a female voice behind me and turn around to find a beautiful, tall African-American woman with long deep red curls.

"Yes, hi it's nice to meet you." I get up and we shake hands.

"Christian will be with us in a moment, he had to take a phone call and I thought it would be good for us to talk first. Let's sit." She says, so we sit down again and I try not to show that I'm nervous.

"It's okay to be nervous, between the two of us, the big guy is ready to piss his pants." She says with a wink and my mouth drops open.

"I guess, I should warn you, I'm not one of those text book shrinks who jumped straight out of psychology 101." She says and it makes me smile.

"I happen to believe that most shrinks are nothing but expensive charlatans." I reply and she smiles.

"Some are, and I like that you are feisty, Christian needs a woman who kicks his ass into shape when he starts to get overbearing."

"He is a Dominant." I murmur.

"He likes kinky sex and control, but that's it. What he needs is a woman who is not afraid to call him out on his bullshit. If you allow him to walk all over you neither of you will be happy."

"But that's just the thing, I can't stand up to him, because the second I do I fear I'm being dragged into his playroom to get punished. That is not the life I want to live and I don't think he wants to or maybe even can change. That nasty old bitch lured him into this lifestyle and now he needs it." I puff out frustrated and she sits down next to me.

"Ana, you are right when you say that he was lured into the BDSM lifestyle or to be more exact, he was lured into that woman's very twisted version of a lifestyle that is not bad at all if practiced correctly and with love and respect for the partner you take part in the lifestyle. Believe me, I know what I am talking about, because I am a part of the lifestyle." She says and I stare at her.

"You see BDSM and a normal loving relationship are not two separate things. My wife Megan and I we like to switch roles just as we need it, but our sexual preferences are not what defines us as persons. We live a normal life, have two beautiful children and at the end of the day are just a normal couple who sometimes likes it rough between the sheets. Christian has done a lot of research on the lifestyle, I have invited him to visit a club here in Aspen and he now realizes that there is a lot more to the lifestyle than he was taught by the woman who abused him when he was not old enough to consent to any kind of sexual relationship. And I'm telling you the same thing I have told him. This meeting is not about the two of you running off into the sunset together with just one therapy session. We are here to start to build trust and understanding between the two of you. Like it or not, this child you are carrying will need both of you, so you have to find a way to either be together or build a friendship, because this child doesn't deserve to grow up with parents who don't talk."

I know she has a point, but I don't know if it is even possible to build a friendship with Christian... much less so a normal relationship.

I'm just about to answer when I hear footsteps coming from behind us. I turn around and there he is... Christian Grey.


	13. Chapter 13

_**I'm going on vacation tomorrow so there won't be any updates until August 2nd. As for the guest who asked for updates on Broken and Seduction... The new chapter for Broken is almost ready, so I'll post it once I am back home from my vacation... Seduction however... I'm having the worst case of writer's block with that story, which is annoying the crap out of me, but I hope to get over it soon, so I can update Seduction as well...**_

* * *

 _ **Ana**_

The second our gazes meet he comes to an abrupt halt and we just look at each other without saying a word. I take him in and he looks... changed. His hair is overly long, he hasn't shaved in a few days and is dressed in a light blue jeans and t-shirt that to my surprise isn't his usual choice of white, black or grey, but a bright turquoise that makes him look less of the powerful CEO/Dominant and more of a normal twenty something guy who is enjoying his free time.

But it's the expression on his face that really surprises me, he looks weary, almost scared and unsure of what to do next. Before I know what I am doing I'm on my feet and close the distance between us. Seeing this side of him I forget all my concerns and just hug him careful not to touch his back in doing so. For a brief moment I feel him stiffen, but then he relaxes wraps his arms around me and buries his nose in my hair. As he does he pulls me even closer to him, holding on to me for dear life.

"Christian... the baby... don't squeeze me like that." I get out and he steps back immediately.

"Shit, I'm sorry, did I do something wrong... do you need a doctor?" He asks with panic in his voice.

"It's fine, just no squeezing."

"Okay, do you want to sit... something to drink maybe... a snack before lunch?" He rattles off and I have to giggle.

"Your housekeeper already brought me a soda and I'm not hungry, I had a big breakfast." I tell him and he raises on brow.

"Don't look at me like that, I had pancakes, eggs and fruit salad for breakfast, I'm good until lunch."

"Sorry, old habits, I just had to make sure, you know... the baby needs food too."

"I know, after all I'm the one who has to get up at three in the morning to order myself a cheeseburger." I confess and he grins.

"You do that?"

"Yeah, honestly, the other day I had to wait in line at Starbuck's to get myself one of their banana muffins and I was seriously tempted to just snatch one of the tray of some very overweight older gentleman." I tell him and he laughs.

"Might have done him some good. So... the baby is fine." He asks and I know my face falls.

"What is wrong?" He asks and leads me to the sofa.

"Nothing, so far all looks well, the baby is growing as it should be and all of the tests Dr. Greene has done so far came back with good results... but there are still chances that the drugs I was given at the hospital have caused harm to the baby. Actually, there is something I have to ask you." I say and stare at my knotted fingers.

"What is it Ana, please tell me what you need."

"Dr. Greene, she said there are a few more prenatal test that can be done to rule out that the baby was harmed by the drugs... but my insurance doesn't cover them and I can't afford them..."

"I'll pay for them, Ana. Whenever you want to do them just ask Dr. Greene to send me the bill. Just... if the baby does have any kind of disability we deal with it together okay?" He says and I look at him.

"What do you mean?"

"I... I don't want you to end the pregnancy." He replies and I shake my head.

"Christian, I will give birth to our child no matter what, I just would like to get these tests done so I have the time to find the best therapy options for our baby in case it is needed."

"Good, because I want you to know that I will be there, no matter what." He says and I give him a small smile.

"So, I think you two are off to a good start, but I believe we should start to get to the bottom of your problems. Ana is there anything you would like to ask Christian?" Autumn asks and I take a deep breath, let's get this over with.

"Have you been with Elena Lincoln while we've been seeing each other or did it start again after I didn't sign your new contract?" I ask and he runs both hands through his hair.

"Ana, I didn't touch that woman after our relationship ended when I was twenty-one. That evening, when you came to Escala, she arrived shortly before you did. She tried to seduce me, what you saw was her trying to have me again, right after you left I kicked her out as naked as she was." He says and I do want to believe him, but it's hard.

"So... you haven't been with her and her blackmailing me was not your attempt to get rid of me."

"That's what you think?" He asks and I expected him to be angry, but he is hurt.

"Really, I didn't know what to think, I still don't. I want to believe you, but it's hard seeing that you considered a woman who abused you your friend for all of this time."

"I understand now, Ana. Believe me, I know now that what she did was wrong." He says staring into my eyes, willing me to believe him, but it's not that easy, because this is not just about me anymore.

"Look, I really want to believe you, but it's hard. I'm scared, not for me, but for our baby. You believed what she did to you was right for so many years and... imagine one day our baby will be fifteen and some pervert twice his or her age seduces our baby, I'm afraid you won't see how wrong this would be or..."

"Ana, I would fucking kill each damned pedophile who dares to lay hand on my child. Hell, if we are having a girl, I'll even kill all the horny high school boys and college guys who will try to date her. I know that a grown up being with a teenager under the age of consent is wrong, I always knew that... but I thought... or was led to believe that I needed it, that without her help I would have ended up in jail... in reality she stole so many years of my life... time I could have spend with my family, making friends, really just being normal. I want to have that now, I want that with you, Ana, but I know we are not there yet, I just hope you'll give me a chance to prove myself to you. I can do better than what you have seen of me so far. I'm getting help and I understand a lot of things now." He says and I give him a small smile.

"You know, I'm finding it very hard to say no to you, Mr. Grey." I give him back the words he once said to me when I got him to have sex with me in his guestroom instead of the playroom. He of course remembers and smiles.

"In this case I won't say I'm sorry, but where does that leave us?"

"Christian, I... I don't know. You still mean a lot to me, but I can't go back to where we left off. It's not what I want and with the baby..."

"I don't want to get back to that either." He says and I look at my hands... _so he doesn't want me back..._

"Well I'm sure we can work something out so you can see the baby regularly... though I don't want my baby at Escala when you have a sub there."

"Okay, I think I need to intervene here before there are any misunderstandings. Christian why don't you tell Ana what you want." Autumn says and I think about leaving... _I so not need to hear that he is looking for a new sub..._

"I want to be with you, Ana. Not in a Dom/sub relationship, but a traditional relationship, I want us to raise our child and hopefully more children in the future together." He says and I'm sure I look like an idiot staring open mouthed at him, but then a thought comes to my mind.

"Are you only saying this because you want us to raise the baby together?"

"No, I'm saying this because I want to share my life with you, Ana. I never thought I would want more, but with you it's different. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want us to be a family."

"But a traditional relationship is not what you need." I point out.

"Ana, I have had fifteen subs since I turned twenty-one. I have had sex with many more women while I was training to be a Dom, but I have never wanted more. They have been nothing but a pleasant pastime. Still, I always felt empty and alone. With you, I feel like I can let my guard down. All you ever wanted out of our relationship was my attention, you didn't ask for anything... and I didn't show you enough how much I appreciate it that you see me as me, not the CEO, not the billionaire, not the Dominant... just me."

"But I wasn't enough." I whisper sadly, had I been enough for him he would have wanted to change for me back then, he would have fallen in love with me too.

"Baby, you are more than enough for me. I'm so very sorry that I was too fucked up to see it, but I see it now. I'm not asking you to jump into a relationship right away, but I would like for you to give me a chance to prove to you that I can change." He says and I don't know what to do. Do I want to give him a chance? Yes, I think I want to, but at the same time I'm afraid that things won't change.

"Christian I... I don't know. It's not that I don't want to give you another chance, but I just don't want things to become the way the were before again... and it's not just me anymore, I have to make the best decision for our child too. I don't want this child to grow up thinking it is perfectly normal to treat women like second class people."

"I never saw you like that." He says and I raise one brow.

"Really, because I can think of a number of times were you sure made me feel as though I am."

"I never meant to do that." Christian replies.

"Then why did you to it? Why did you treat me like trash in front of that god awful woman?" I snap, suddenly I'm so mad at him and for the first time ever, I'm not even slightly intimidated by him.

"She still had power over me... she manipulated me and I didn't see or maybe I just didn't want to see it. I felt threatened by her questioning my skills as a Dominant... and I felt the need to prove to her that I can do whatever I please to my sub. I'm so sorry, Ana. I only now realize that I have humiliated you in the worst way... because you knew... you saw Elena for who she really is right away. Please believe when I say that I would never treat you like I did ever again."

I stare at Christian, I want to believe him, but at the same time, I know it's not that simple and I can't even blame it all on him, because this is on me too.

"Look, I really want to believe you, but it's not that easy. It's my fault too, because I never said anything when I should have. It's just I always felt like if I would say something, you would just end the contract and look for someone who doesn't complain or question all those stupid rules."

"Stupid?" He asks and I can tell he is trying hard not to smile.

"You gave me a list of foods I am allowed to eat... like I'm to stupid to eat healthy myself."

"Do you really want to talk about your eating habits, Ana? Because frankly, I feel like that is a topic you may need to discuss with a shrink." He says and I glare at him.

"Well excuse the hell out of me if the threat of being beaten with whips, belts and canes doesn't provide me with an healthy appetite." I snap and he glares back, which brings Autumn to speak up.

"Is it a problem, Ana?" She asks and I roll my eyes.

"I never had problems... well, maybe in my teen years, I did, but then again I'm not the only person in the world who can't face food when something isn't right in her life." I confess.

"No that is right, some people like to comfort themselves with food while others can't eat at all when they are upset. What happened when you were a teen?"

"My parents divorced, my mother re-married a total jerk, so I moved back in with my step-dad."

"Did he try something, your mother's husband?" Christian asks and the memory actually makes me giggle.

"I lived with him and my mom for about three months, he would always make me feel uncomfortable, you know he would stand too close to me, touch me as if by accident and walk into my room while I was changing without knocking first. One evening he came into my room and grabbed my ass while I was tying my laces... and I snapped. I just had enough. I turned around and told him he would never touch me again or I would make him regret it. Of course with him being 6'3 and about 220 lbs and me being 5'1 and maybe 115 lbs he started to laugh at me. Next he reached out to grab my boobs, so I kneed him in the balls and when he sacked to his knees I kicked him in the face. While he was a bloody, moaning mess on the floor I called the cops and my Dad, packed my belongings and when the cops arrived and I told them what happened, they arrested him. My mom didn't want to believe me at first and stayed with him, while Ray took me back to Montesano, but she came around when just a few weeks later he beat her to a bloody mess. They divorced and he went to prison."

When I look up at Christian he looks shocked. "You took him down?"

"Ray is ex-army, he always told me that being tiny or a girl is no excuse for not knowing how to defend yourself. He said there is no shame in losing a battle, it's only a shame if you're not trying to go down with one hell of a fight. Still, my mother choosing to believe him over me, her daughter, it made me really upset and it made it hard to eat for me, but it's nothing to worry about. I'm always somewhere between 118 and 124 lbs these days and that's okay."

"Why did you never tell me that our arrangement isn't making you happy?" He asks taking me by surprise and I sigh.

"Do you remember that I once asked you what would happen if I wasn't interested in your lifestyle or if I would figure out that it wasn't for me?" I ask and he nods. "You said that it was fine, but then we wouldn't have any relationship at all and that scared me. I was afraid by telling you how I feel you would send me away and I would never see you again. I understand now that it was stupid of me not to speak up... but I just wanted to be with you."

"And now you don't want to be with me?" His questions is asked so quietly that I nearly missed it.

"I don't want to go back to where we left off, that is really all I know right now. Other than that, I don't know, because sadly I don't even know how a normal relationship works and if it would work for us. Still, I can't seem to get you off my mind and with our baby on the way we need to find a way to work either as a couple or as friends, because I can't stand the thought that our child will grow up with parents who really don't have anything to say to each other."

"I don't want that either, Ana. I want us to be together, but I know I can't just order you to be my girlfriend or move in with me, even though that's what I want... but we can work on it." He says and I have to force myself not to gape at him. _His girlfriend? Moving in with him?_ Who is this guy? And where is they guy who told me that he doesn't do the girlfriend thing?

"I thought you didn't do the girlfriend thing, Mr. Grey."

"Well, I don't want to go back to what I have done before... I want more. More of seeing you happy and relaxed around me, more of your smart mouth... just more of everything." He says and I can't believe what I am hearing.

"But what about rules and punishments?"

"I don't want that anymore... which doesn't mean that I don't want to get kinky with you at all... but in essence I want a normal relationship."

"I don't think I can just jump into that." I murmur. Do I want all that he has mentioned? Yes, but at the same time I know just jumping into it won't work.

"We can take things slow, Ana. Meet for lunch or dinner, go to the movies or just hang out."

"Hang out?" I giggle, Christian Grey wanting to hang out is not something I ever envisioned hearing him say.

"Yup, we can even chill out together, Miss Steele." He smirks and I laugh.

"We can try... see where that leads us." I reply and his answering smile is so big it makes me smile too.

"So, if I would call you sometime next week to meet for lunch you wouldn't hang up on me?"

"No, I wouldn't..." I stop for a moment and then decide to go for it. "Maybe on Thursday? I have my next check up on Thursday... due to what happened I have to see Dr. Greene every two weeks and she said next time she may be able to see if it's a boy or a girl. You could join me for my appointment and we can have lunch afterwards." I offer and he looks a bit nervous.

"We can find out, really?"

"Well, I will be 15 weeks along next week and Dr. Greene said you can usually determine the sex at 16 to 20 weeks, but since I'm close to sixteen weeks she might be able to tell me. I would really like to know, so I know what colors to buy."

"That sounds great... yes, I'll come with you. And since we are on the topic there are a few things I would like to discuss about the baby."

"Okay, go on."

"First, I have set up a college fond as well as a trust fond for our baby. He or she can access the trust fond once he or she has turned twenty-one, but it will be supervised by me or you until our child has turned twenty-five."

"Really... well, it's good to know that our child won't have to worry about paying for college." I reply not really sure what to say, because I haven't even thought this far when really I have know idea how to afford all the stuff the baby will need once it's born.

"I have also bought a house." He says looking nervous again.

"A house?" I ask confused, why would he buy a house for the baby?

"Well, I want our child to have a real home and if we can't make things work between us, I still want our child to have a real home for the time it spends with me. Escala is great for a bachelor, but for a child it is not the right place. I have bought a house at the sound. Elliot is remodeling it for me. It has a huge meadow, great backyard, lots of space to run around and have a good time... but the longer I thought about it, the more I want it to be our child's permanent home. Maybe I could take you to see it and if you like it too, I would like for you to move in. I have bought the neighboring plot of land as well and I would build my new home there so our child could just come over to see me. You don't have to decide anything now, but keep it in mind." He says and I nod wide eyed. A house? I can't afford to pay the bills for a house and...

"There is one more thing." He says interrupting my thoughts.

"Ana your car... look, I know you love it and I already have arranged for it to get a new engine and breaks, but even with that it is not reliable or safe by any means. I want to buy you a new car, something safe and family friendly, so you have enough room to put a stroller, groceries or whatever in the trunk. We can go to a car dealership together and look at some of the cars I have in mind." He says and I appreciate that he isn't just buying a car and ordering me to take it, still it is too much.

"Look, I know I need a new car, because even I understand that my car isn't safe to transport our child in, but the thought of you spending money on me makes me uncomfortable."

"Ana please, you know I have more than enough money. It's not a big deal to me." He nearly begs and I decide to negotiate a deal.

"Can we negotiate this?"

"How?" He asks and leans forward to listen.

"Well, you already own a fleet of SUV's, I'd be happy to take one of them on loan... indefinitely." I offer and he smirks.

"Fine, I can live with that. I have Taylor send one to your place." He says and blows out the breath he was holding. "That was easier than I thought." He adds making me roll my eyes.

"I'm not unreasonable, Christian." I pout.

"No you are not, but it still surprises me that you don't like to receive gifts. Women usually love them."

"Maybe I'm just not that kind of woman. I like gifts when it's a special occasion, but you tend to buy such expensive things that I fear I'll break, lose or ruin it in anyway."

"I want you to have the best of everything, Ana."

"And all I ever wanted was to be with you. I don't need expensive gifts... if you want to give me something, give me some of your time that's all I really want." I blurt out before I can stop myself and blush, while he gives me the biggest, goofy grin.

"I'll keep that in mind... so how about lunch?" He asks and I smile.

I know we still have a long way to go before we can be together and have a healthy relationship, but today has been a very good start...

* * *

 _ **I know there is a lot more for them to talk about, but this chapter was merely the start, so topics that haven't been covered here will come up in future chapters...**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Christian**_

"Andrea I'm heading out for lunch now, I'll be back around 2 pm." I let her know on my way to the elevator and Taylor steps inside with me.

"Sawyer just sent me a text. Miss Steele didn't feel well, so he is driving her to Dr. Greene's." He says and I immediately grab my phone and call Ana.

"Hi Christian."

"Ana what is wrong, Taylor told me you don't feel well?"

"It's nothing to worry about. I just didn't sleep well last night and have been off all morning, so I thought driving myself wasn't the best idea, because I can't concentrate on anything today."

"Take the rest of the day off, I can talk to your boss if you want to."

"You don't need to. Courtney already told me to go home and rest after my appointment, she has three kids... so she knows what it's like."

"Good, so... are you nervous too?"

"Yes, I guess that's what kept me up all night. I really want to know what we are having so I can start to buy clothes for our baby and we can start to think about a name... umm... there is something we need to talk about."

"Sure, what is it?" I ask and get a bad feeling because she sounds nervous.

"Well, I know you said you wanted to buy the furniture for our baby and I agreed, but yesterday my Dad called and let it slip that he is building a crib and other furniture for the baby in his free time. He is a carpenter and... "

"Ana, if your Dad is building the furniture it's fine. Actually, it's great because it's something to keep for the generations to come." _Fuck me, did I really just say that? A few months ago having a child would have been the end of the world for me, but now I even smile at the thought of being a grandpa one day... which also reminds me that I should visit my own grandparents more often..._

"That sounds great... hey Christian, look to your right." Ana says suddenly. Taylor has just pulled into traffic and as I do I see Ana's smiling face, grinning at me from the open window of the SUV next to us.

"I love seeing you smile, baby." I blurt out and mentally kick myself, I'm nowhere near to calling her any kind of endearment, but it just slipped off my tongue.

"Well, I wish I could see you at all, _baby._ " Ana replies after a moment, but just as I am about to roll the window down Sawyer pulls in front of us.

"Well, I guess you have to wait, see you soon."

"Bye."

At Dr. Greene's office I am completely out of my element and have to restrain myself from playing with the plastic uterus on her desk. Instead I grab a brochure and flick through it without even noticing what I am reading until I hear Ana giggle and look up.

"Interesting read?" She smirks and I look at what I am holding in my hands. _'How to deal with vaginal dryness during and after menopause'_

"I ... umm... Christ, this place makes my skin crawl and what the fuck is that?" I mutter and point to some metallic object on a table.

"That would be a speculum, Mr. Grey... open wide, ya know?" Ana says deadpan and my mouth drops open. Of course, in BDSM many gynecological instruments are used, but I was never into that kind shit, so I had no idea.

"Looks like some kind of torture device and what's that, looks like a weird vibrator."

"It's a wand for internal ultrasounds." Ana explains and scrunches her nose, indicating that she doesn't like that thing at all... well she can handle a lot more.

"So... have you thought about names?" She asks.

"No, well I don't want something stupid, I like traditional names, something that isn't going to get our kid teased in school."

"Me too, I would like to use Ray's name as a middle name for a boy and maybe your mom's as middle name for a girl." She says surprising me.

"Yes, I like that a lot. My mom would be over the moon... and what about the last name?" I ask approaching a topic that is really important to me, because I want the baby to have my last name.

"What about it... I thought... never mind." She murmurs staring at her knotted fingers.

"Ana look at me what is wrong?"

"Well, up until now I just assumed the baby would have your last name, but if you don't want..."

"No! That is exactly what I want, but we are not married or officially dating, so I wasn't sure what you want."

"Christian, you have seen the sonogram picture haven't you looked at what is written on it?" She asks and I get it out of my wallet... of course baby Grey.

"I'm sorry, Ana..."

"No, it's fine, I guess Autumn was right when she said we need to talk more and assume less." She says still not looking at me and I try to come up with something to lighten the mood.

"See, this appointment has already been very productive, our baby now has a middle name and last name... and I have learned a lot of stuff that will help me get through menopause without feeling dry and itchy." I wink at her and she giggles just as Doctor Greene walks in.

"Ana, it's good to see you, how have you been since we last saw each other?" She asks totally ignoring me.

"Good, I've gained another pound, but seeing that I lost a lot of weight in the beginning that's a good thing, right?"

"It is, has the morning sickness seized?"

"Yes, but I still have some dizzy spells from time to time and I need a lot more sleep than usual." She says and I make a mental note to contact Roach at SIP and ask him to offer Ana to come in part time until she goes into maternity leave.

"Well, you have to listen to what your body is telling you, Ana. You had a major accident and nearly died, with the baby in addition to healing, your body is also going through a lot and being pregnant takes a lot of energy. So make sure that you take breaks when you need it, get enough sleep and eat healthy. I also want you to measure your blood pressure for the next two weeks twice a day and write it down for me. Often dizzy spells stem from exhaustion, but we don't want to take any risks. Any other symptoms you have been experiencing lately?" Dr. Greene asks and Ana blushes.

"I'm craving a lot of different foods at unusual times of the day, but other than that there is nothing that you haven't told me to expect now that I am in my second trimester." She replies and bites her lip, telling me that there is something she either doesn't want Dr. Greene or me to know.

"Good, now let's have a look at the little one, shall we?"

"Mr. Grey, you might want to stand at Ana's head so you can see the monitor too." Dr. Greene says when Ana hops onto the exam table and pulls her shirt up exposing her belly. I watch Dr. Greene apply some sort of clear gel to Ana's belly and then she switches the ultrasound machine on, takes the wand and puts it to Ana's belly.

"And there we have it, see Ana your baby is now almost 5 inches long." She says and presses some buttons on the machine. The next second the room is filled with weird noises and Dr. Greene moves the wand until I hear it _ba boom ba boom ..._

"That's our baby's heartbeat." Ana tells me with a huge smile and for the first time in a long while I am speechless. This is the most amazing thing I have ever heard.

"Can you see if we are having a boy or a girl?" Ana asks and Dr. Greene smiles at her.

"Well, let me see if I can get a good view, you are 15+4, so we might be able to determine the gender of your baby now." She says and moves the wand around some more until she freezes the picture.

"Looks like your baby is being very cooperative today. See here, these are the baby's legs and they are open wide and here... do you see those two tiny dots?" She asks and to be honest I have no idea what she is pointing at.

"Yes." Ana murmurs trying to make something out of the picture in front of us as well.

"Those tiny little dots are the testicles and that makes it official, congratulations, you are having a little boy." Dr. Greene says and I feel tears burn in my eyes. A boy, I'm going to have a son.

"Happy?" Ana whispers to me and gives me her gorgeous smile.

"Very happy." I reply and scowl when we are interrupted by a nurse who barges in without even knocking first.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but your security guard is asking to talk to you immediately, Mr. Grey." She murmurs apologetic.

"I'll be right back, I'm sorry Ana." I mutter and step outside where I find Taylor.

"This better be something important!" I snap, annoyed that he couldn't wait until Ana and I came out.

"I apologize, Sir. Someone must have contacted the media. There are at least fifty paps outside the hospital." He says and I groan. _Fuck, I was hoping to keep a lid on Ana's pregnancy at least for a few more weeks._

"If they even breathe too close to Ana heads will be rolling!" I snap.

"I have already called for backup, however I would recommend to leave in one car so we can put Sawyer behind us as a buffer between us and the paps who will be following us. In addition, I have someone check Miss Steele's place before we return her home, she has already been linked to you since the accident, now things will become more extreme." He says and I run my hands through my hair, this is just what I need. I can't tell her to stay with me until this blows over and it will drive me insane fearing that the freaking paparazzi are going to be all over her to get a good picture of her baby bump.

"Christian is everything alright?" I hear Ana's voice behind me and turn around.

"Someone spilt the beans about us being here. The media is outside." I let her know and she frowns.

"Well, it was bound to happen, right? Let's just give them what they want." She says and takes her shirt off under which she is wearing a tight fitting tank top.

"What are you doing, Ana?"

"Look, if they believe that there is a chance I'm carrying your child they won't go away until they get a picture of my belly. Let's just give them what they want so they can run off to find another story. Maybe Taylor can tell them they can snap their pictures if they leave afterwards and give us some privacy." She says and I want to say no, but Taylor clears his throat.

"Sir, before you dismiss Miss Steele's idea, I would like to say that she is right. Once they have what they want they will ease up on her. We can arrange for Sam to come over from GEH and address them before you step out. I know this is not your style, but sometimes you have to feed the vultures to make them cooperate."

I stare at Taylor and then back to Ana. I hate this, really fucking hate it, but very begrudgingly I have to admit that this plan could work.

"Fine, call Sam." I snap. Samantha Banks has been my head of PR for almost 6 years now, she has been with us almost from the beginning and if she thinks this is the right thing to do, I'll go through with it.

Fifteen Minutes later Ana, Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan, Reynolds, Sam and I are in a private waiting area going over the plans... or to be more exact everyone except for Ana. She has found a vending machine and is now devouring her third Butterfinger chocolate bar.

"Oh my gosh, this is ridiculous, I don't even like them." She mutters and Sam laughs.

"Just be thankful it's only a chocolate bar you don't usually go for, when I had my son last year I was craving sandwiches with raspberry jam and mustard." Sam says making everyone gape at her.

"Anyway, the hospital management and security has been very forthcoming. They are securing one of the side entrances as we speak. I will go out first and let the paps know that they have three minutes to snap their pictures, no questions. I will confirm that Miss Steele is indeed carrying your child, but won't address the due date or anything else. Your legal department is already getting an written agreement ready, stating that in return for the pictures they will not harass Miss Steele, camp outside her apartment or come within a 10 feet radar of her for the remainder of her pregnancy."

"Is this legally binding?" I ask.

"Well, it's an agreement. So if one of the paps who signed it breaks the rules there will be a penalty. I would still recommend increased security for her, but that is Taylor's business not mine." She says and turns to Ana. "Is there anything you need Miss Steele?" She asks her.

"Not really, I just wish I would have worn something nicer today, I look stupid." She says and I want to roll my eyes, but stop knowing that Ana has always suffered from a low self-esteem and now her pictures will be splattered all over the media.

"How long before we have to go out, Sam?"

"Half an hour, Mr. Grey. We have to wait for your legal team get everything printed and signed first."

"I need to make a phone call." I step outside and call Mia.

"Hey Christian, shouldn't you be at work?" She asks.

"I accompanied Ana to her doctor's appointment, where are you Mia?"

"Shopping downtown." She says, which fits my plans perfectly.

"Great, listen, Ana and I are about to let the media get some shots of her belly, they found out we are here. Ana needs a change of clothes, something that will show off her belly and make her feel comfortable at the same time... maybe a nice dress."

"On it, how long do I have?"

"We need to step outside in about thirty minutes."

"Okay, I have to hurry then, Dr. Greene has her office at mom's hospital right?"

"Yes, we are in a private waiting area on the third floor, give me a call when you are here."

"Will do, bye." She hangs up and I return to the waiting area where I sit down next to Ana.

"You are sure you want to this?"

"I don't want to do this, Christian, but I have to. I don't want them to circle around me wherever I go or be scared what is going to happen next with them. If they have what they want, they have no reason to be after me and I can go on with my life." She says and I hate that I have put her into this position.

"I'm sorry, can I make it up to you in anyway?"

"Yes, can you take the rest of the day off?" She asks.

"I already called Andrea to let her know I wouldn't return to the office today, why?"

"Then you can accompany me to your grandparents." She says and I frown.

"You are visiting my grandparents?"

"Yes, your grandmother is great, I was sick as a dog on some days and when Grace told her about it, she started to bake these very light crackers for me and had them sent to my place, they were all I could keep down for a while, I want to stop by and thank her." She explains and it makes me feel like shit, because I haven't seen or called my grandparents since all this shit went down.

"I'll join you, I haven't seen them in a while." I finally reply and from that moment on we wait until we get the okay to go outside... _fuck, I hope this doesn't turn out to be a huge mistake..._


	15. Chapter 15

_**Ana**_

I hope my idea of giving the media what they want wasn't a huge mistake, but I just don't want them to follow me around all the time trying to get a good shot either to confirm the pregnancy or to dismiss the rumor, which of course wouldn't have happened anyway since I'm sure I won't be able to hide my ever growing bump much longer.

I just wish I would have worn something different today. Now, I will look like an idiot wearing black dress pants, nude pumps and a white cotton tank top, but if I put my blue shirt back on my belly won't show, due to the A-line cut of it. I'm not vain or anything, but knowing that my picture is going to be all over the news I would like to look nice, more for Christian than myself. I don't want people to make fun of him for knocking up a girl that isn't anything special and can't even dress properly.

"Shopping service!" I suddenly hear Mia's cheerfully voice as she steps into the waiting area waving several shopping bags in her hand.

"Okay, all the guys have to get out us girls want to play dress up." She announces and I have no idea what is going on until my eyes find Christian's and he winks at me before everyone but Mia leaves the room.

"Did he call you?" I ask and Mia grins.

"He sure did, so I found two dresses for you, which one do you like best?" She asks and holds both of them up for me. One is a nude color with a brown belt right underneath the breasts and the other is a greyish blue shift dress, they are both really pretty, but I pick the blue one as it will go well with the shoes I am wearing. Once I am dressed Mia continues to style my hair into an elegant chignon, before she continues to apply some light make up to my face.

"I don't need make up, Mia."

"Oh you do, Ana. Believe me, those paparazzi don't come with perfect lighting and everything, you want to look your best, because the shot that will pay them the most is the one where your eyes are crossed and you look like an idiot. They are so nasty... just trust me on this, think of it as being some kind of medieval warrior, they painted their face too." She says and I frown.

"Is it that bad?"

"Not all the time, but I had some rather unpleasant experiences with them, it should be my business if I decide to head to supermarket wearing a hoody, yoga pants and no make-up, but it's no fun when you have to see yourself like that all over the tabloids with headlines like "The ugly truth"." She says and I gasp. Mia is gorgeous with or without make up.

"Doesn't matter, I just don't want you to go through that. I'm a tough cookie, but this is new to you, so let's not give them anything to attack you about. I want other women to see you and get pea-green with envy." She says and I giggle.

Ten minutes later Sam steps outside and addresses the media before Sawyer and Ryan open the double doors for Christian and I. On instinct I grab his hand, this is making me really nervous and I need something or someone to hold onto, so I won't run and hide.

Christian looks at our linked fingers, smiles at me and then we step outside together and I am momentarily blinded by all the flashlights going off at once. Christian pulls me to his side and wraps one arm around me, while they take their pictures, but I can see him exchanging looks with Taylor when they start to yell questions at us.

" _Miss Steele, how long have you known, Mr. Grey?"_

" _Is the child really his?"_

" _Are you the surrogate for Mr. Grey and his boyfriend."_

When I hear that last question my head snaps to the photographer who has just yelled that question at us, but I can't make him out in the crowd.

" _Ana please tell me you didn't fall for him because of his money!"_

I suddenly hear a familiar voice coming from the crowd and sure enough, José is one of the paps. He hasn't been in touch much ever since the accident and now I know why… he is jealous.

"Christian, that was José!" I whisper up to him.

"I know, ignore him… if he was your friend he wouldn't be here trying to make money out of your pregnancy." He says and after another minute we head back inside, but I can see that Taylor is in a rather heated argument with José and a minute later he steps inside with José.

"I can't believe you just did that!" I snap at him.

"Why not, a guy has to earn a living, Ana… but clearly, you have found other means to make a living." He hisses at me disgusted and I feel tears well up in my eyes.

"Mr. Rodriguez, I think it is best for you to leave Anastasia alone. You have clearly proven today that you are not worthy of her friendship." Christian tells him coldly and José laughs arrogantly.

"Well, she has clearly proven that she is not the girl I thought she was… but I bet if I had your bank account she would have been all over my dick too." He says and before I can do or say anything Christian has punched him in the face.

"Men like you disgust me to no end, take that as a warning, you come near Anastasia again and I will make sure that you are miserable for the rest of your life!" Christian hisses and ushers me back to the waiting room, where I sit down just in time for my tears to spill over.

"Hey, don't cry, he is not worth your tears, Ana." Christian says and sits down next to me.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Mia who has waited there for us asks.

"Ana's so called friend Josè was there and said some very inappropriate and upsetting things to her." Christian explains, while I grab my purse to retrieve a tissue.

"I can't believe he would say something like that to me… I'm not like that… I would never…"

"Ana stop, I know that. Believe me, I have met enough women who are just like that to know that you are not that kind of person. Don't allow him to upset you."

"Can we leave please? I don't want to be here anymore." I ask as I dry my tears.

"Sure, let's visit my grandparents." Christian says, he asks Mia to join us, but she is going to meet some friends this afternoon, so it's just us.

In the car I check my phone and nearly drop it when it starts to buzz.

"Ana… OMG have you seen it?" Kate shouts into the phone.

"Seen what Kate?"

"José that slimly little weasel, he posted a blog online just three minutes ago… it's disgusting, I'll send you the link… you need to sue the fucking hell out of him. Is Christian still with you?"

"Yes, we are going to visit his grandparents."

"He needs to read this too… jesus, José is such a delusional piece of shit!"

"I need to read it, please send me the link." I whisper.

"Okay, and Ana, don't allow him to get away with this shit. Love ya." She says and hangs up. Five seconds later my phone signals an incoming text and I just stare at it, not sure I really want to read it.

"Everything alright?" Christian asks.

"No… Jose has written a blog, Kate says it's really bad… she has sent me the link, but I really don't want to read it."

"May I?" He asks so I hand him my phone and watch his expression change into pure anger within seconds. When he has read it completely he takes his phone out sends the link from my phone to his and dials a number.

"Warner it's Grey… I'll send you a link within the next two minutes… I want the blog to be shut down… I don't give a fuck how you do it, just do it, it's nothing but fucking lies… yes, and take legal actions against the writer… keep me updated." He says hangs up and takes my phone from me before I can read the article.

"Don't read that garbage, Ana. It will be off the internet in no time."

"What has he written?"

"It was a short blog, more like a rant, basically he called both of us every name in the book, called you his former girlfriend… said you left him for me and that you are only in it for the money. Don't worry about it, I'm dealing with this shit."

"I don't get it; I have never given José even the tiniest reason to believe we could be more than just friends. Why is he doing this?" I mutter.

"He wants what he can't have and lashes out because of it."

"Men ughhh!" I mutter under my breath, which makes both Christian and Taylor laugh.

Twenty minutes later we arrive at his grandparents' house, Christian grandma is outside putting some potted flowers on the porch when she looks up and sees us.

"Theo! Theo quick, the boy is here!" She calls out and just hearing her referring to Christian as _the boy_ makes me giggle. Next she hurries towards us and grabs Christian's hands.

"How are you sweet boy?"

"I'm fine, thank you, grandma, I'm sorry I haven't called."

"Oh, don't be silly, I know how busy you are and you have this gorgeous girl to take care of." She says and smiles at me.

"How are you sweet girl, it's so nice to see you again… oh look at that, my first great grandchild, may I?" She asks holding her hand out to touch my belly.

"I'm so happy for both of you. Are you better, Ana?"

"Yes, and I need to thank you, Mrs. Trevelyan, the crackers you made for me really helped me with the morning sickness."

"That's good, I'll give you the recipe so you know how to make them with your next baby." She says and Christian looks a bit alarmed.

"Let's get this little one safely into this world before we talk about more kids." He chuckles just as his grandfather joins us.

"Are you going to stand here all day, come in, I'm making grilled cheese for lunch." He says and I'm surprised to hear that he is cooking.

"It's the only dish he can make, but it's delicious." Mrs. Trevelyan says as we had into the house and I look around.

"Oh my gosh, look at that." I giggle as we walk through the hallway which has all the walls filled with pictures and there is one of Christian as a small boy. He is sitting on top of a huge bucket filled with apples, his face is smeared with chocolate and he is smiling like crazy.

"That's my favorite too, but as cute as he looks, this one was a little firecracker as a child." Mrs. Trevelyan says.

"Elliot was worse." Christian mutters under his breath.

"But he wouldn't get caught as much as you did… boys, they always get into trouble." She says with a knowing smile and soon we are all sitting in the kitchen where we have lunch and I even manage a second helping and some pie for dessert, which has Christian smiling like an idiot.

"I told you these days I'm eating a lot." I murmur a bit embarrassed.

"Oh, you should have seen my Gloria when she was pregnant with Gracie and Ben, her stomach turned into a bottomless pit… I swear one Sunday she ate the entire pork roast before I even managed to get anything on my plate." Mr. Trevelyan says making me and Christian laugh while his wife raises an eyebrow at him.

"Well, I for one am happy to see Ana eat, she usually eats like a little bird or forgets to eat all together." Christian says and I want to argue, but he is right, until I found out that I am pregnant I really didn't have the best eating habits.

After visiting his grandparents, we decide to go for a walk in a nearby park and just stroll around for a bit.

"I'm sorry for today, Ana. This was not how I saw the first time we meet after everything that happened went down." He says and I sigh.

"Look, I'm not going to lie and tell you that I don't care if my private life suddenly becomes interesting for the media, but it's not your fault. It's not like you have chosen to become a celebrity or anything like that. So, let's not talk about it." Fact is, I hate that my child will have to grow up with security and paparazzi trying to make a dime by snapping pictures of him, but it's not Christian's fault, so I can't blame him.

"I was thinking about telling my family that we are having a boy, do you want everyone to know?" He asks.

"Yes, how about we tell them all together, Ray wants to drive down to Seattle this weekend, I could cook dinner for everyone and we tell them then… though I'm not sure dining table is big enough for my parents, your entire family and Kate."

"We could invite them all to Escala." He offers and I frown remembering the last time I have been to his place and the many other times it was rather unpleasant for me to be there.

"Can I ask you something… about her?" I ask and he nods.

"Why did you never feel like what she has done to you was wrong?" I ask and he sighs.

"There is an ice cream truck over there. How about we have some ice cream, sit down and talk." He says and when I agree we get ourselves each some ice cream and sit down on a bench by a small lake.

"You know that I don't like to be touched and I know you have noticed the burn marks on my chest and back." He says and I nod, I wanted to ask him about them so many times, but I knew he would be upset if I did.

"Before I was adopted by the Grey's I lived with my birthmother. She was only fifteen when she had me. Her parents kicked her out and she turned to the wrong people for help. She ended up addicted to drugs and sold her body to make a living. We lived in a shithole of an apartment where I had to witness many things no child should ever see. Her pimp… he was abusive not just with her, but with me too. He would kick me around, beat me with his belt and even use me as ashtray… my mother didn't help me, she was too scared of him. She overdosed when I was four and I was locked in the apartment with her body for four days. By the time I was found I was nearly starved to death… she always gave me very little food, so I was already badly malnourished and those four days… let's just say it was hell." He says and feel tears burn in my eyes, this is horrible… he was so little, a baby really and everything he has been through…

"Hey, don't cry… please Ana, I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't… I just… that's horrible… was there no one to help you… her… what about her parents?"

"They didn't care, the only good thing they ever did was not wanting to claim me when Ella, my birth mother, passed away. Anyway, after the Grey's adopted me things didn't magically become great for me. I wouldn't talk for nearly two years, I had terrible night terrors, I was really scared of my Dad at first and had the worst tantrums. Things calmed down a little when Mia arrived, she made me talk… she was so innocent and beautiful… I loved my little sister right away. For a while, I felt normal despite my fear of being touched. Things changed though when I turned thirteen and puberty really set in. Elliot was dating every girl he wanted to… I on the other hand couldn't. I was so angry at the time… well more frustrated to be exact. I got into brawls in school got expelled several times and so my parents made me clean Elena's backyard after she had some renovations done. She knew I couldn't bear to be touched and about my insecurities of feeling not worthy of my family. She knew and it gave her an opening to pounce." He says and shakes his head as if he can't believe he didn't see it before.

"At first she kissed me and didn't touch me in doing so… she made me eager to come back for more, which of course I did and when she told me that BDSM was a way to better myself, to learn how to be in control and to become worthy of my family, I believed her. I thought I deserved each punishment she dished out… believed her when she said I needed it… that there is no other way. Fuck me, I didn't even notice that she alienated me from my family and made sure I never made any friends… hell I even let her pick my subs for me… she was in total control of my life until you came along." He says with smile.

"Me?" I ask surprised.

"Yes, when you fell into my office I knew I had to have you. I couldn't stay away and for the first time I didn't care what Elena thought about it. All I wanted was you and she knew… she knew that she had lost me, she knew that you were changing me, that you made me see what I was missing out on, that I didn't want you to stay in your role all the time. She knew that it was only a matter of time for me to figure it out and once I did she wouldn't have any hold on me any longer." He says and I frown.

"What did she know?"

"That I'm hopelessly in love with you, Ana." He says and my mouth drops open. _Did he just say that he is in love with me?_

"I should have figured it out earlier, but I didn't want to see it or maybe I just didn't know how to handle those feelings or how it would change things between us, but then I nearly lost you and it became so clear to me. I thought about how we met, what we did together, how you came into my life like a ray of sunlight on a cloudy day… and it weren't the moments where you've been my sub that I remembered, I remembered all the other moments, going to Bainbridge Island with Kate and Elliot, us talking and laughing together or all the times you said or did little things that normally would have pissed me off, yet with you it made me smile and all I could think of was that I wanted more of these moments… more of us just being Ana and Christian. I want you to be relaxed and happy around me, because it makes me happy to see you like this."

I stare at him completely speechless, if that wasn't a declaration of love, I don't know what is and of course it makes me cry again.

"Ok I'm not good at this help me out, are you upset or is that this pregnancy hormone thing I've read about?" He asks and it makes me laugh.

"I'm not upset, and yes since I'm pregnant I cry a lot, but I'm also happy to know that you feel the same way about me as I feel about you."

"So… where does that leave us?"

"I don't know, why don't we just keep spending time with each other and see where it leads us?"

"Sounds like a good plan." He says with a smile which I answer with a smile of my own. We might not run off into the sunset anytime soon… but I feel like today has been good start to build a healthy foundation to whatever relationship we are going to have in our future…


	16. Chapter 16

_**Disclaimer: All characters belong to EL James**_

* * *

 _ **Christian**_

"Sir, I have looked at Miss Steele's list, these are the things you will need to buy." Gail says as I step into the kitchen.

Ana has agreed that we should have the family dinner at my place. I had no idea she is such a perfectionist, but she called everyone who is invited to ask for their food preferences, what they don't like and if anyone has some kind of food allergy. Once she had all the information she needed, she sent me an e-mail with the menu for tonight and the shopping list with all the ingredients, so I could give it to Gail and ask her to make a list with all the stuff we need to buy.

I told her Gail would buy it, but Ana informed me that that's not how it works and that we would meet at Pike Place Market to buy all the ingredients together. I don't even remember when the last time was I went food shopping, but for some reason, I can't figure out I'm actually excited about it. It just seems so normal to go out to buy food to prepare a meal. Well, Ana is going to cook, since I'm worthless when it comes to cooking, but at least I can help her buy the groceries we need to cook dinner for our family.

To make this experience even more normal, I have asked Sawyer and Taylor to follow us from a distance. No need for us to be constantly reminded that we are not like all the other people who are there to buy food. I would have considered to just tell them to stay at Escala, but that fucker José has decided to embrace his inner creep and is now stalking Ana. My Dad is already trying to get a restraining order against him in place, but so far he hasn't done anything to legally justify it, so I'm not taking any chances, if that fucker even breathes too close to Ana he will wish he was never born.

"Thank you, Gail. I'm heading out now to meet with Anastasia, you can take the rest of the day off." I let her know and leave the apartment after sending Taylor a text to meet me outside. Because it is a rather nice day for it being late October now I decide to walk and arrive outside of Pike Place Market just as Ana does.

She looks amazing her hair is open and falls in soft curls all the way down to her hips, she is wearing a white oversized wool sweater, black leggings and black boots. When I look at her face I can't help but smile. She is perfect, even now without any makeup she looks radiant, but what makes me smile like an idiot is her tiny bump, which even with her sweater is showing.

"Hey, how's my son doing?" I ask as I pull her in for a quick hug. I was never one who liked hugging and actually would go a long way to avoid any form of physical contact other than a handshake if it wasn't in a sexual context, but I know Ana likes it and I have discovered that I enjoy it a lot too.

"He is doing crazy things to me, I woke up at a quarter to six this morning and was craving broccoli with lots of melted cheese. My mom couldn't stop laughing when she found my eating it while drinking a strawberry milkshake." She giggles.

"Well, that sounds like an interesting choice." I chuckle.

"Must be genetic, my Mom told me she was constantly craving custard donuts with hot sauce when she was pregnant with me." Ana continues and for a second I'm a little upset, because I can't ask Ella stuff like that.

"You okay?" Ana asks and I smile.

"Yes, here Gail compiled the shopping list for us."

"Great, oh but please you have to stop me when we have to pass the ice cream stand, I need to watch my sugar intake a little or I might end up giving myself gestational diabetes." She says and I frown.

"It's a special form of diabetes women can get during pregnancy, it usually goes away after the baby is born, but it often results in very heavy babies and can cause many other complications during pregnancy. That's why I really need to keep an eye of my sugar intake, which isn't easy right now, because I'm constantly craving sugary foods." Ana explains and I make a mental note to do more research on it.

"Okay, no sugar for you. Come on, let's go shopping."

I have to say, watching Ana select each item and explaining what she is going to do with it was kind of fun and for most parts we had a lot of fun, even though some people couldn't help but stare at us or even snap pictures with their phones, but Taylor and Sawyer were quick to take care of it.

"I think we have everything, do you want to go to Escala now?" I ask, but she shakes her head.

"There is one more thing I want to do first." She says and to my surprise she takes my hand and leads me out of the market and after walking for about fifteen minutes we stop in front of a baby boutique. Ana looks at me and she looks kind of unsure.

"I never apologized… you know for the way I reacted after I woke up from the coma and that I didn't even give you a chance to explain things to me. I'm really sorry about that… so I thought maybe you like to pick the first outfit for our son." She says and I hug her again.

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize Ana, but with that being said, I would love to pick his first outfit."

"Okay, let's do this."

We enter the store and Ana shows me to the newborn section.

"Are you sure that's going to fit him? I mean look at this, it's tiny." I mutter and hold a onesie up.

"Well, I haven't been around newborns a lot, but I've read that the average newborn baby is about twenty inches long, so this seems fitting."

"That's really tiny… Christ, where are the manly clothes, this stuff has sheep, clouds and hearts on it." I murmur and Ana laughs.

"I don't think they are making flannel shirts or suits for newborns." She giggles and I find a soft blue onesie with white stripes that looks nice and won't humiliate my son.

"I like this one."

"That's cute. Okay, let's take it."

After selecting some more outfits, we leave the store and two things happen at the same time. I see Taylor and Sawyer approaching us and at the same time Ana exclaims: "You have got to be kidding me!"

I follow her gaze and sure enough, there is the fucking photographer snapping pictures of us. It all happens so fucking fast that I don't have the time to stop Ana who runs straight up to him and slaps the camera right out of his hands.

"What is wrong with you, Ana?" Rodriguez hisses at her, but Taylor, Sawyer and I have already reached them and get between them to shield Ana from him.

"Wrong with me? Are you kidding? Why are you stalking us?" She hisses and tries to push herself between Taylor and me to look at the bastard.

"You know what my boss pays for a good photo of him with you?" He says arrogantly.

"You are pathetic, following us around like a creep just to make some cash. I'm telling you one thing, Jose, you will stop following us right now or I'm going to call your Dad, I bet he will be delighted to find out that his son is neglecting his studies to become a paparazzo!" Ana snaps at him and the fucker actually looks nervous.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me!" She hisses, grabs my hand and takes off into the direction of Escala.

"Ana, stop… look at me." I stop, so she has to stop too and when she looks at up at me, I can see that she is fighting back tears.

"Hey, he is not worth your tears, Ana."

"I'm sorry, Christian… I mean, I thought he was my friend and now he has turned into a creepy stalker and you have to deal with this shit too and…"

"It's ok, you didn't ask him to become that way, now, let's not allow that fucker to ruin the day for us, come we have a meal to cook."

 _ **Ana**_

When we arrive at Escala and enter the great room, I notice that something is different and that's when I see the picture frames on the wall and placed on some other spots throughout the room. I step closer to the one on the coffee table and pick it up. It's a picture of Christian, Elliot and Mia when they are kids.

"Autumn told me that I need to remind myself that I have many people in my life who want me happy and love me… something Elena tried to make me believe is not true… I thought putting up some pictures will help me not to forget or let my self-loathing win." Christian says a little sheepishly and continues to show me the other pictures while he tells me the story behind each of the pictures.

Really, it's heart-breaking to see that a man who grew up with such a loving family fell victim to a child molester who alienated him from them and made him believe he is not worthy of their love. It really makes me think about how much of a hold she must have had over him and deep down I feel terrible, because I only now start to understand what I did when I called her to demand she would make him stop trying to win me back.

By doing so, he was, possibly for the first time, trying to break free of this hold and I tried to use it against him. In this moment, I feel disgusted with myself and I just now understand, that I have a huge part in what happened. If I hadn't called her, she wouldn't have gone to his place and things could have ended very differently.

I know I need to tell Christian, he still believes it is all his fault, but now is not the right time, our family will arrive in less than three hours and this is not something we can casually discuss and then forget to enjoy a family dinner. So, I decide to let it go for today. Tomorrow we will have a Skype session with Autumn and I believe that is a better time to confess my part in this entire mess.

Shit, we won't even be in the same room during the session, because Autumn wants us to each be at our apartments for the joint session. She believes with us being in different places it is easier to talk openly and with her not being in the room with us, she also feels it is better for us all to be in separate places for our sessions.

"There is something I need to show you, it's not the real thing, more like a symbol for what I truly want." He says and looks nervously at me as he holds his hand out for me. I take it and I have to say I'm a bit surprised when he leads me up the stairs and stops in front of the playroom.

"It's not what you think, Ana… I just I …"

"Just open the damn door, Christian." I say and we both have to laugh, because it's the exact same thing I said when we were standing in front of this door the first time.

When he opens the door and flicks the lights on I cannot believe what I am seeing, the playroom… it's gone and instead there is a nursery. It's beautiful, all wooden furniture, soft colors and in the middle of the crib is a huge teddy bear.

"Say something, please."

"It's beautiful… have you done this?" I ask, ready to burst into tears just seeing this room.

"Yes, when I found out that you are pregnant, I just needed to do something, something to show you and myself that I can do this. That I can change and be a good father for our child." He says and with that the tears start to fall. I just can't help it, for him to do this and not just hire someone… and more so in here, in a room that meant so much to him it's kind of overwhelming.

"It's amazing." I reply and hug him, still amazed that he doesn't stop me from doing so.

"I'm glad you like it, though it has been pointed out to me that it might not be appropriate for our son to actually sleep in here." He says it make me giggle.

"I guess that's right, but then again he would never know."

"We'll see, so how about we start to cook?"

"We?" I smirk and he grins.

"Well, I won't actually cook, but I'm sure there are some things I can do to help."

True to his word, Christian helped me with the cooking by measuring the ingredients and chopping some of the veggies for me. During the whole time we spend in the kitchen, I couldn't help but think how normal all of this seemed. Just a few months ago, I would have been the one cooking alone, while he would do his thing and even during most of the meals we shared he didn't give me permission to speak, so we rarely had moments like these, where we shared something as simple as cooking a meal together while talking about everything that came to mind.

I guess even though I knew what happened between Christian and Elena, I never fully understood what kind of hold she truly had over him. Now that he is free of her, he has completely changed and it's a joy to see him like this… acting his age for a change and enjoying himself.

Mia is the first to arrive and while I'm checking that everything is going accordingly with our meal she sits down at the breakfast bar and looks at me.

"Your belly is popping out more and more, do you have any weird pregnancy stuff happening to you? Because my friend Eva had a baby five months ago and the pregnancy did crazy things to her." Mia says and I smile.

"Well, I'm craving weird foods sometimes and I have officially turned into a cry baby, honestly, yesterday I watched TV and there was a commercial for fabric softener with a really cute puppy in it and it made me cry… so yeah, it's kind of weird." I confess, but keep the other weird thing that is happening lately to myself. Because for the last week or so, I'm constantly horny. It's really annoying and doesn't make being around Christian again easier on me. I have only talked to Kate about it and she told me to just get it on with Christian, but I told her there is no way I will use him just because I'm so horny I can see straight. It's not that I think that he would turn me down, but he made it clear that he would jump right into a relationship with me in a heartbeat and I was the one who wanted to take things slow, so I cannot and will not basically ask him to fuck me and at the same tell him it won't make us a couple. I might be horny as hell, but I'm not a cold-hearted bitch.

"I know you are not telling something, you reacted the same way at Dr. Greene's." Christian whispers into my ear and I blush.

"Now, I'm really curious." He smirks and thank God for Mia, because she chimes in: "Hey, stop the whispering, it's rude!"

"Sorry, Mia." We both say at the same time and thankfully first his parents and grandparents arrive and then my parents followed by Kate and Elliot, so we can start with dinner.

I'm glad to see that my parents and Christian's family really get along, because this means I don't have to worry about holidays like Christmas or Thanksgiving, because I'm sure starting next year we will most likely all celebrate those occasions together, because of the baby.

"Christian, can you help me to get the dessert?" I ask when we have finished the main course. We thought of many different ways to tell them, everything from giving them each a sonogram picture to figure it out themselves to just blurting it out. In the end, we looked up ways to tell the family online and found an idea we really liked. So for dessert, I have baked cupcakes with a flat top and white and blue icing. We have arranged them on a tray and throughout the tray there are some cupcakes with letters on them spelling the words It's a boy!

"Wow, they turned out great, Ana… wait let me take a picture." He says snaps a picture on his phone and carries the tray to the dining table.

We watch as Elliot grabs a cupcake but Kate stops him. "Wait… oh my god, it's a boy!" She gasps.

"It's a cupcake, Kate." Elliot mutters making me giggle.

"No… don't eat it! Look!" Grace says and we watch as they all read the words.

"Oh a little boy, I'm so happy for you, darling." My mom, of course, is already crying before she reaches me and gives me a hug. After her everyone gets in line to hug me and shake Christian's hand, when it's my Dad's turn he looks at both Christian and me.

"You know, there is still time to do the right thing and get married before my grandson is born."

"Daddy!" I gasp.

"Just saying Annie." He shrugs.

"Don't worry, Mr. Steele, I fully intend to marry your daughter when she is ready to take that step." Christian says and I gape at him.

"Don't look at me like that, I told you I want us to be a family and call me old-fashioned, but to me a family means the parents are married." He says and I don't know what to say to that, but to my own surprise, I find myself imagining how it would be to be his wife… and I like the idea.

"One step at a time… so don't get your jet ready to take us to Vegas yet." I grin and grab a cupcake.

I have to say, that this has been a really nice evening, sadly I know that tomorrow is going to be a much more difficult day, because tomorrow I will have to tell Christian that I had a part in what took place the night Elena tried to murder me.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Ana**_

"Bye Mom, enjoy your girls' night out." I call after my mother as she leaves to meet with her colleagues to go out for some cocktails. I wish I could have a drink myself, because in five minutes the Skype session with Autumn and Christian will start and I know that I have to be honest now. I don't want to keep this a secret, because it is killing me, that I basically tried to use the hold that bitch had over Christian for my own benefit. I just need to say it, not just to get it off my chest, but also because Christian needs to know that what Elena did was not his fault at all.

Had I opened up to him right away none of it would have happened, but I didn't so now I have to own up to that.

So, I set my laptop up at the kitchen table start it and a minute later I can see Christian and Autumn on two windows on the screen.

"Nice shirt, Ana." Autumn grins and I blush. Damn, I didn't even think about changing out of my yoga pants and t-shirt for the session while they both look like GQ models. I decide I don't care.

"I know right, and it's true… see." I get up so they can see the words "This girl loves Christmas" printed on it.

"Isn't it a bit earlier for that?" Autumn asks.

"Okay, I actually made the first badges of Christmas cookies today and wanted to send some to you, but if it's too early…"

"Girl, you better send those cookies, because this girl sure loves cookies." Autumn says making both Christian and me laugh.

"I'll send them out tomorrow morning."

"Great, so Ana how has your week been, Christian told me you found out it's a boy?"

"Yes, I'm so excited, I always wanted at least one boy first and then two or three girls."

"You want four kids?" Christian asks immediately.

"Well, actually six, but I'm open for negotiations after I had three babies." I let him know and he seems to need a moment to find a reply to that.

"Six kids, eh? Well, at least that means you are not going to cut me off after our son is born." He smirks and I bite my lip. Shit, I know that this conversation will become serious soon, but I'm freaking horny again… damn those pregnancy hormones!

"So does that mean you two had sex?" Autumn asks.

"No." I mutter and can't help the pout in my voice, which makes Christian stare at me and Autumn giggle.

"Second trimester can be a bitch, right Ana?" She laughs and I pout.

"All I can think of is food and sex, it's not even funny." I mutter embarrassed.

"Oh I do remember that part." Autumn says still amused.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Christian wants to know and I roll my eyes.

"Because I can't tell you that I'm not ready to jump into a relationship with you and then ask you to fuck me." I snap.

"I wouldn't mind."

"No! That would be like using you for my benefit, so not going to happen!" I say really irritated that he would even offer something like that.

"Okay, how about we drop this subject for a moment, is there anything else either of you wants to talk about?" Autumn jumps in and I know it's now or never.

"There is something I need to say." I get out in a rush and stare at my knotted fingers.

"Okay, go on Ana."

"What happened the night Elena ran me over… it's my fault… or well, I did something that led to everything that happened that night."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, what could you have possibly done to spark what happened?" Christian asks and I can tell he is already aggravated.

"I was so mad at you. Mad because you wouldn't leave me alone and Elena was constantly threatening me to release those damn pictures if you would continue to run after me. That is why I wanted to take the new job in the first place, I wanted to put more distance between us and then you told me I had to work at SIP for six more weeks which meant I wouldn't get the other job. I just snapped and I… I called her." I stop and force myself to look up at the computer screen.

Christian face shows no emotion at all, if anything he looks frozen.

"What happened then?" Autumn asks.

"I told her to make Christian stop contacting me… I told her that she wanted me to break up with him, now it was her job to make him stop running after me. I guess that is why she showed up at his place the way she did. I completely forgot that I even called her when I saw them together… but recently when I thought more and more about that night, it became clear and I… I…"

"You what?!" Christian suddenly hisses, making me jump in my seat.

"I don't know, I'm so sorry Christian."

"Sorry?! You hated her guts, you told me she was a child molester, yet when it suited you that she was fucking manipulating me you sent her my way?" He yells and gets up.

"Fuck this!" He suddenly yells and slams his computer shut, leaving me with Autumn.

"Give him some time to calm down, Ana." She says when I start to cry. I hate that I am crying, because I knew this was going to happen.

"No, I need to see him now, I'm driving to Escala." I say and get up.

"Ana wait, I don't think that is a good idea." I hear Autumn call out to me.

"I have to go, Autumn. I need to talk this out with him. It has been me not talking to him that has gotten us into this mess, now I need to fix it." I say, close my laptop, put some sneakers on, grab my purse and leave my apartment.

Fifteen minutes later I am at Escala and find to my surprise that Christian hasn't changed the code for the elevator, so the doors slide to a close once I have typed it in.

Inside the penthouse it is eerie quiet. I know that Taylor and Mrs. Jones have the evening off, because Christian told me they had some kind of anniversary this weekend.

I look around but can't find him anywhere, so I walk to his study, knock and enter but find it empty as well. Next, I walk towards his bedroom, knock again but he isn't there either, so I walk back into the great room and start calling out for him, but there is no reply, sitting down on the piano bench and I take my phone out to call him, but it rings before I can even dial him.

"Yes?"

"Where are you?" Christian sounds out of breath and I frown.

"Where are you?" I ask in return.

"Outside your apartment, buzz me in please, we need to talk, Ana."

"I thought so too and well…" I press some keys on his piano so he can hear it.

"Wait, are you at my place?"

"Yes, I want us to talk this out, so are you coming back or do you want to wait and I drive back home?"

"No, stay at Escala, I'll be there soon." He says and hangs up.

Feeling restless while I wait for him, I clean the breakfast bar and wash the dishes he just left there because Mrs. Jones wasn't there to clean up after him. I have just finished with everything when I hear the ping of the elevator and Christian steps out.

I watch as he walks into the apartment and looks around until he finds me in the kitchen. In this moment I have no idea what is going to happen, but I know I have to talk to him now.

"You didn't have to clean up." He says as he comes to a halt at the breakfast bar.

"I was a bit restless, so I needed something to keep myself busy." I reply and I hate myself for not even being brave enough to look him in the eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me that Elena was blackmailing you?" He asks surprising me.

"I didn't think you would believe me over her." I answer truthfully.

"Why? Is this because of that damned day where she came by when we had dinner?"

"Partially, but it is also about all the other times, Christian. Each time she stopped by or called you and somehow pissed you off, I was the one who ended up with a sore ass. I just feared that I would talk to you, you would talk to her and she would convince you that I was lying. I know it doesn't excuse that I called her and demanded to stop you, but I never thought she would try to whore herself out to you or that she would try to kill me because she failed to seduce you."

"Then what did you think she would do?" He asks and I can tell by his voice that he is hurt.

"I really don't know, I guess that she would talk to you, convince you to move on with another sub… I'm sorry, I should have talked to you… but I was just scared and instead I sent that monster back to your place."

"It was the wake-up call I needed." He says and I frown.

"I'm not going to lie, I was pissed when you just told me that you called her to deal with me… but that evening, when she dropped her fucking coat trying to seduce me, it was like taking off shades and I was finally able to see clearly for the first time. When you saw us and walked out, I finally knew that I needed to remove her from my life, that she was not my friend. I wanted to run after you, but I thought you needed time to calm down, I didn't want us to fight again." He says and I look at him, finally ready to tell him the whole truth, which so far I haven't shared with anyone.

"When I saw you with her like that, I was angry, confused… sad, I just needed to get out. I had walked for about three blocks when I stopped. I just couldn't believe that what I saw was true, that you would try to win me back and at the same time have an affair with her. It made me so angry, that I decided to come back and demand the truth. I had just turned around and started to walk back to Escala when I saw Elena's car, for a moment our eyes locked and then all I remember is her speeding up and I thought she just wanted to scare me, I never in a million years would have thought that she was actually going to run me over… that's the last thing I remember before waking up at the hospital. The first few days I felt like I was caught inside a fog and I just wasn't ready to face you, because I knew, if you had told me that you did have an affair with her, I would have lost it and I just wasn't strong enough to face that. I guess that makes me an idiot." I murmur and he takes my hand.

"You wanted to come back?"

"Yes, I just couldn't deal with Elena any longer, I needed to know if she was just a manipulative bitch or if the two of you were playing some kind of sick game with me."

"Is that also why you didn't want me around our son when you first woke up?" He asks and I sigh.

"Partially, yes, but look it is just, we never had this… you know just us being us without any rules. Even when we went to your parents' place or out with Elliot and Kate, you always gave me rules how to behave… it was like your lifestyle was dictating your life 24/7 and because of that it was dictating my life too. I didn't want to go back to that or have our child grow up with parents who live like that 24/7. I'm not saying all of it was been bad, it's just I like what happened between us in the playroom, just not whatever took place outside of it… and I wasn't sure if you were willing to change." I confess and look up at him.

"I wish you would have told me all of this earlier… we could have avoided a lot." He says deep in thoughts and I nod.

"I know, it's just… back then I didn't feel like I could talk to you… and to be honest, I would go a long way and take a lot of crap in order to avoid being punished." I confess and to my surprise he smirks.

"Yes, you Miss Steele have been a lousy sub in that aspect. Most subs slip from their role on purpose to be punished… you never did that."

"Yeah, well, excuse me, but why on earth would I do that? Because frankly, a sore behind is not something I particularly like or enjoy." I mutter and he laughs.

"That's just the point, Ana. A real submissive wants to be punished, they enjoy it… you don't… took me a long time to see, but even though at first you came across all shy and submissive, you are anything but. That's why I appreciate the fact that you tried for me even more." He says and I look at him.

"Do you miss it?"

"In some ways, yes, I do. It gave me the control that I need, safety in a way, but the simple truth is I need you more, Ana. I feel alive when I'm with you. You make me see and appreciate the simple things in life. Things I never even noticed become exciting when you are with me. I can still be in control at work, but just sitting here with you talking… it gives me so much more… I don't need to be a Dom when I'm with you, because you like me anyway… you don't expect me to be a certain way or act in a certain way… it makes me feel free… happy even." He says and I smile.

"I want you to be happy." I reply and fight back a yawn.

"It's late, you need your rest. Do you want to stay here?" He asks and I want to say yes, but I feel that even staying here overnight would be too soon, plus I don't ever want to sleep in the subs room again. I have cried myself to sleep in there so many times that I don't want to be in there again.

"I have to go home, Christian. I have to work tomorrow and everything I need to get ready is at home." I reply afraid that he might take it the wrong way, but he smiles.

"Okay, I'll drive you home. Taylor will drive your car back to your place tomorrow before you have to go back to work." He says and takes my hand to help me up.

Outside of the apartment building I live in, he walks me to the door and I look up at him.

"Are we good?" I ask, still a little unsure if what I have done has caused damage to the progress we have made over the last week.

"Yes, we are. Now up you go, our son needs to rest and so do you." He says and opens the door for me. I step inside but turn around and give a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Goodnight Christian, I'll call you tomorrow." I smile at him and hurry to the elevator, because I know, if I turn around to look at him once more, I will ask him to stay and as much as I want him, it's just too soon.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Ana**_

I wake up while it is still pitch black in my room and reach for my phone to see what time it is. I hear my mother walk around the apartment making too much noise and roll my eyes, she must have had one too many cocktails. When I finally find my phone I freeze, because there is a message from my mom, telling me that she will stay at her friend's house tonight, because she wasn't up to driving her car anymore.

If my mother isn't home…suddenly my heart starts to race. Someone is out there in my apartment and it is not my mother. Shit! I get up as quietly as possible and tiptoe to the door to lock it. If it wasn't for me being pregnant I might have had just grabbed the baseball bat my Dad insists I keep near my bed at all times if something like this was to happen, but I can't do that now and risk my son's life by playing the superhero.

Instead, I do what every good coward would do, I hide in my closet and start to dial 911, but stop myself last second from calling. Suppose my mom decided to come home anyway and the cops shoot her, because they believe she is an intruder. For a second I want to call out for her, but that is probably the single most stupid thing to do, because with my luck it's a junkie who just wants to find something of value for his next fix and kills me by accident when he discovers I'm awake.

So I dial the one person I know will make feel safe immediately.

"Ana?" I hear Christian's sleepy voice and I instantly feel a lot calmer.

"Christian, there is someone in my apartment." I whisper.

"What?!" He whisper-screams.

"I woke up because of the noise in the apartment and thought it was my mom, but then I saw her text that she is staying at a friend's house because she had too much to drink to drive."

"Fuck, have you called the cops?"

"No, what if my mom decided to come home and they shoot her?" I reply and hear him open a door, followed by quick footsteps.

"Are you in your room?"

"Yes, I just locked the door and now I'm hiding in the closet." I confess embarrassed.

"That is good, stay there, try not to make any sounds." He says and I hear him talk to Taylor.

"Ana, listen we are on our way and we will be there soon, until then we'll stay on the line, but I don't want you to talk anymore, remain quiet so whoever the intruder is won't notice that you are home." He says and I hold my phone close, trying not to burst into tears because I'm just scared, not so much for me, but for my son. Shit, my Dad taught me how to defend myself, but right now, I don't know if I would even try, because it could bring even more harm to my child.

"Ana, Taylor has called the cops now, we will be there in a minute, so if it is your Mom we are there first and nothing will happen. Do you still hear noise coming from the living area?"

"Yes, it's coming closer to my room." I whisper barely audible.

"We are almost there, baby… please don't be scared, nothing is going to happen to you or our son, I won't let it happen." He says and I nod, too scared to even breathe too loudly because now someone is trying to get into my room.

"We are here!" Christian says and I hear them running before there is a loud bang, I hear screaming, cussing and I know it is not my mom, because neither of them would ever yell like that at her.

I wait, wanting to get out and see what is happening, but too afraid to actually move. Suddenly the apartment goes silent and then I hear Christian's voice.

"Open the door, Ana, it's ok, I'm here." He calls out and I get up on shaky legs and find my way to the door in the darkness. As soon as I see Christian I throw myself into his arms and start to sob.

"I was so scared." I cry and he kisses the top of my head.

"I know, baby, but you are safe, it's okay." He murmurs into my hair and that is when I hear someone behind us.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" A male voice hisses and I freeze, this is not true!

"Jose?!" I get out and look up at Christian.

"Yes, we caught the fucker in your hallway, he was setting up a hidden camera, Taylor will sweep your apartment to remove any other camera he has hidden in here. Don't worry about him, the cops will take care of it and my Dad will go to court first thing tomorrow morning to get the restraining order against him in place." Christian says and just then the cops arrive.

I'm glad when they finally remove Jose from the apartment which is a mess, all the drawers and cupboards are open, things are on the floor and two of my mom's huge potted plants have been knocked over. I look around the mess and then to Taylor and Christian. I didn't even notice it until now, but both men are bare feet in their pajama bottoms and t-shirts. I can't help it; I start to giggle.

"Something amusing you Miss Steele?" Christian asks amused when he follows my gaze between him and Taylor.

"Nice pj's." I giggle looking at Taylor who is wearing bottoms with Christmas ornaments printed on them.

"My daughter picked them out, Ma'am." He says with a slight blush.

"Cute." I giggle and look around to see the mess in my living room. "Um… Christian, does your offer from earlier still stand? You know, that I can sleep at your place?" I ask and Christian rolls his eyes.

"Ana, if you believe for one second that I would allow you to stay here tonight you clearly don't know me at all." He says raising an eyebrow and I smile.

"I'm just getting a few things; I'll be right back." I hurry into the bathroom, throw what I need into my toiletry bag and continue to get clothes for work tomorrow. Since it's cold I outside I put my Uggs and a cardigan on and get back into the living room where Christian grabs my stuff and the men lead me outside and into the waiting SUV.

"Are you ok?" Christian's ask when I deflate into the seat.

"Yes, I just don't get it, why would he sat up cameras in my apartment and go through all the drawers. I mean, did he think I wouldn't notice the mess or just clean it up without calling the cops, it's like he wanted to get caught." I murmur and I see Christian and Taylor exchange looks through the rearview mirror.

"What aren't you telling me?" I ask.

"I'll tell you once we are at Escala, you can have my bedroom."

"I can sleep upstairs." I say even though I really don't want to sleep there.

"I have thrown all the furniture out; it has to be refurnished but I didn't have the time to give my decorator a call yet. So, you take my bedroom and I'll sleep on the couch.

"I can take the couch." I reply, not wanting to throw him out of his bedroom.

"Ana, I have watched you sleep many times and you move around in your sleep so much that I would have to tie you to the couch in order to make sure that you won't fall off in your sleep. Please let's not argue about this." He says and I just nod. It's almost 2 am and I am bone tired, if he wants to offer me his bed, I'll take it gladly.

At Escala I decide, that whatever he hasn't told me can wait until tomorrow, it's late and we both need our sleep. I watch as he puts a blanket and pillows on the couch and feel bad for him.

"We could just share your bed." I offer.

"Ana, I'm not a fucking saint, I'm trying to do the right thing here and take things slow… but if we share a bed, I can promise you that neither of us will get any sleep." He says and I blush.

"Um… okay, goodnight." I murmur in the end and get into bed.

In the morning I get up still a little tired and take a long shower before I get dressed and step out into the great room from where I can see Christian already sitting at the breakfast bar.

"I have called my Dad; he will stop by tonight with the restraining order. I have also called your Mom and booked her a suite at the Fairmont for the next two days, the police wants to sweep your apartment again this afternoon and after that I'll have Taylor over there to get the place secure, so if you want you can stay here again tonight or you can stay with your mom." Christian says when I sit down next to him.

"Oh… okay, how about I'll stay here and we can watch a movie together tonight?" I reply and he gives me a dazzling smile.

"Perfect… so what are your plans for today?"

"I'm working until noon, after that I'll have lunch and then I need to go shopping. I need a few dresses for work and Kate told me about this boutique downtown that has a lot of nice maternity clothes, so I want to check the place out, because I really don't have anything to wear for work that still fits. After that I'll be back here and get my list ready, have you finished yours?" I ask him.

Christian and I are still trying to figure out the first name for our son, so we decided to both make a list with names that we like, see if we have names we both like on it and then decide on a name.

"Almost ready, we can discuss his name tonight… I have two hours around lunch, how about I pick you up, we have lunch together and go look at some strollers before you go shopping?" He asks.

"Yes, that's great."

"Good, I'll pick you up around noon, oh and Elliot called me yesterday, his crew has started the renovations on the house. He said if we want tomorrow would be a good time to stop by and have a look at the house. He also wants your input on the plans… after all, it's going to be your home." He says.

"Our home." I answer with a smile and place his hand on my belly. If last night has shown me anything then it is that I want to be with Christian. He makes me feel safe like no one else and even in what little time we have spent together; I feel closer to him than ever before. If we keep talking and spending time, I'm sure with a little time we can find a way to make our relationship work.

"Our home." He repeats and just seeing how those two little words make him happy makes me happy too.

"Miss Steele?" I turn around when Taylor approaches and look at him.

"Good morning, Taylor… and thank you for coming over last night."

"You're very welcome. Ma'am, I will need your apartment keys. I'll have Reynolds drive over this afternoon to let the police in, after that we will need the keys to get in and secure the place."

"Sure, I'll give you my spare set, I always have several sets, I swear I'm not just losing my keys, they run away from me screaming." I confess a little embarrassed.

"Thank you…and in that case I will give Barney a call, he is head of IT at GEH and I'm sure he can help us get a lock with fingerprint scan for your apartment. It's safe and you can't lose your keys anymore." He says.

"Is that even possible… I only know them from office buildings." I reply and he gives me a brief smile.

"It's possible, Ma'am. We will also get an alarm system installed and make sure that the windows are more secure." He says and I just nod and thank him. I know this is going to be expensive, but this is also about the safety of my unborn son, so I can live with it.

At work, I start to read a new manuscript for Courtney and type a few letters she will need to have sent out until I have to leave and before I know it is noon and my office phone buzzes.

"Courtney Miller's office, Anastasia Steele speaking."

"Hey, it's me, Claire. Your boyfriend is waiting for you, Ana." Claire tells me all exciting and I giggle.

"I'll be there in a minute." I hang up, grab my purse and coat and head for the lobby when my phone rings.

"Ana Steele?"

"Miss Steele, this is Detective Rollins, we met yesterday. Are you free this evening, we have searched Mr. Rodriguez' apartment and found something that we need to show you."

"Oh… okay, I'm staying at Escala with Mr. Grey for the next few days, can we meet there say at 7 pm?" I ask, whatever it is, I want Christian to be there and he told me that he will be home tonight at six, so this gives us time to have dinner before the Detective arrives.

"Sure, I'll meet you there, Ma'am." He says and hangs up, I stuff my phone back into my purse just when I reach the lobby where Christian is waiting for me.

"Hi, is something wrong? You look stressed." He says when he sees me.

"Detective Rollins called, he wants to meet with me, the police found something when they searched Jose's place. I hope you don't mind, but I have asked him to come to Escala tonight around 7 pm. I don't know… it sounded like they have found something bad and I don't think I face whatever they have found without you." I confess and he pulls me into his embrace.

"I'm glad you asked to come by at Escala tonight, I want to know what they have found too. I'll call my Dad to be there too, whatever it is, he can tell us what legal steps we will have to take." He says and I blush when my stomach rumbles in the most unladylike way.

"Come, you need to eat, there is a nice Deli just two blocks from here, would you like to go there?"

"Oh my gosh, yes! Their cheese ravioli with mushrooms and chicken breast are to die for, you have to try it too."

"I was actually thinking about a light lunch, but you eat whatever you feel like." He says and ushers me out of the building. I would have loved to walk to the Deli, but it is raining cats and dogs, so we let Taylor drive us and are lucky to find a nice table in a corner at the packed Deli.

"You never told me what that look you've exchanged with Taylor was about last night." I say as we are waiting for our food.

"He had a backpack with him, it held rope, duct tape, chloroform. We believe that he saw you leave for Escala and got the cameras to hide at your place. He didn't expect anyone to return, so he snooped through the drawers. Surely he would have cleaned everything up if given the chance… we also believe that he had that shit in his backpack to kidnap you in case you would return." He says and I bury my face in my hands.

"How could I not notice what a sick human being he is? He seemed so normal… he was my friend." I murmur; I can't believe that never realized that something wasn't right with Jose.

"Speaking from experience, some people are so manipulative and exceptionally good liars that no one would ever expect that something wasn't right with them." He says and I look up. I know he is talking about Elena and it hurts me that she was his only friend… at least I have Kate.

"Looks like we both need to find better friends." I shrug, glad to get off the topic when our food arrives and I dig right in.

"Hmm, delicious." I hum in appreciation spear a ravioli with my fork and hold it out to him. He looks surprised for a second but then takes it.

"Wow, that's really good." He says and eyes my plate.

"We can share, it's way too much for me anyway, I usually take half of it back home for dinner." I explain and push my plate a bit closer to him so we can share and he digs right in.

After lunch, we had to a baby market and look at my strollers. There are a few I really like and Christian surprises me when he buys four in total.

"You do know that we are only having one baby?" I say in surprise and he smiles.

"I'm fully aware of that, but this way both of us can have one in the car, we have one we can use in the house and one for the grounds of our new home."

"Grounds?" I squeak and now he is laughing.

"Yes, it comes with a huge meadow, backyard and some more land. The estate is bigger than my parents' home, but you'll see tomorrow." He says, but all I hear is the word meadow.

"A meadow?"

"Yes, it's a bit overgrown, but it will be great for our son to run around and for all of us to have picnics. You know, with me being who I am it will always be a security nightmare to take him to a park, so I was looking for a home with lots of outside space, so you wouldn't have to take him to a park. There are other families with small children in the neighborhood so he can have playdates and make friends." He explains and the thought that taking my child to a park could be a potential risk is really upsetting, but I smile anyway. It's not Christian fault, he never asked for all the media attention he gets, so I can't blame him.

"Sounds like a great place." I reply with a smile and he scowls when his phone rings.

"Everything alright?" I ask when he hangs up after a few minutes.

"Ros, my COO, called. There is an issue with a project we are working on in Detroit, we are trying to fix it without me having to go to Detroit, but it looks like I might need to fly down to keep them on their toes." He says looking less than pleased, but recovers quickly and so we look around for a bit more and buy a few other things for our son before he has to head back to the office and Sawyer follows me to the boutique Kate told me about, where I buy some new clothes for work.

Back at Escala I take a shower and sit at the breakfast while Gail is in the kitchen. I have seen her a few times while I was Christian's sub and we get along really well. She is just so warm and welcoming that you have to like her.

"Can I make you a snack, Miss Steele?"

"It's Ana, Gail; and no thanks, I'm fine, I had a big lunch. So, when does Christian usually start to decorate for the holiday season?" I ask, the penthouse is such a big place, it's going to be so much fun to decorate it.

"Oh… well, Ana, Mr. Grey doesn't really celebrate the holidays, he usually works." She says and I stare at her for a moment.

"Wouldn't he go to his parent's place to celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas?"

"No, well of course, all of his family would call him… but I guess there are only so many times one can ask before he stops." She says sadly and I make a mental note to make sure to ask him why he wouldn't celebrate with his family. This year he will celebrate, because I am going to make sure of it. Christian works so hard each day, he needs some down time and what better time to just enjoy life than the holiday season.

"This year he is going to celebrate." I smile at Gail saying this and she smiles too.

When Christian arrives we sit down to have dinner and he seems tense.

"What is wrong, Christian? You seem tense."

"I have talked with Roach today, they are all very pleased with your work… but with your pregnancy they need to know when and if you are going to return to work. Have you thought about how long you want to go into maternity leave?" He asks and I think about it for a moment.

"Well, I don't want to return right away, if I could I would stay home for the first three or four years, but that's not an option."

"You would stay at home with our son?" Christian asks and I can tell that he really likes the idea.

"Yes, but I have to work and…" the moment these words have come out of my mouth Christian drops his fork and glares at me.

"Ana, you do not have to work!" He says and I frown, but then it dawns on me.

"Christian I have to work for a living and…"

"No you don't have to work for a living, I can take care of you, it's what I want, it makes me happy to know that I can support not just my son but you too." He says and I sigh.

"You are not fighting fair." I pout.

"Ana, why is it so hard for you to let someone take care of you?" He asks and I stare at my hands.

"I don't know, growing up it was always like the roles between my mother and I had been reversed, so I had to make sure her crazy ideas wouldn't get her into trouble from a very early age on. When I moved back in with Ray, I was the one who took care of everything, you know, I would cook, clean, do the laundry, make sure the bills are paid on time and then in college I lived with Kate and just continued to do all of that. I've always been the one taking care of others and it's just hard for me to let that go. Plus, you have to see that I grew up in a completely different world from yours. My Dad always taught me that if I want something, I have to work for it, so to just let someone else take over feels wrong."

"Can you try to get used to it? I don't want our son to go into daycare or be raised by a nanny, not when I'm in the lucky position to be able to support my family without a second income."

I look at him and I know he is right. I have a choice; I can stay home with our son if that is what I want. Having him raised by a nanny is not what I want and a daycare center would be an option, but I don't want my baby to spends half the day with someone else, when it could be me who he is spending time with.

"Okay, I'll try and yes I want to stay home at least until he starts pre-school." I reply after thinking about it for a moment and Christian gives me a huge smile.

"Thank you, baby. You have no idea how much that means to me." He says and I want to reply, but Taylor interrupts us, letting us know that Detective Rollins is here. Well, let's see what he has found…


	19. Chapter 19

_**Just a little heads up… I'm currently in the process of writing Chapter 24 and unless I have to split it into two chapters it is the final chapter of this story… so let me know if starting next week, you want an extra update on Fridays or if you want to continue with one chapter each week so the story will last longer…**_

 _ **Oh and I have also started to write another story and I'm going to post it once this story and Seduction, which I am going to re-read and bring to an end soon, are finished…**_

 _ **Christian**_

I nod at Taylor so he knows to show the Detective in once he arrives at the penthouse and look at Ana. Shit, she looks tense, she needs to relax, but with the fucking photographer turning into a lunatic she has no chance to do so. Damn it, just a second ago I wanted to do a victory dance, because Ana agreed to be a stay at home mom, now I want to rip someone's head off thinking about what the Detective might has found that he needs to show Ana.

I have talked to my Dad and he told me that Jose had his hearing this afternoon, but the bail is so high that he won't be able to pay it and get out. In addition, the judge ordered to have his mental health evaluated, because he acted like a freaking psychopath in court. I would prefer to have him locked away in a jail cell, but if they lock him a padded cell, it will be fine with me too. As long as the fucker is as far away from Ana as it gets, I'm fine with it.

In addition to the fucker, my mind has also been occupied with the business trip to Detroit I might have to make soon. I don't fucking want to go back… ever. This city holds nothing but bad memories for me, so going back there is not high on the list of things I want to do. Ros is trying to work things out, but deep down I know I need to go, but I just don't want to leave Ana alone, not until I know for sure that the fucker won't be an issue anymore.

"Sir, Detective Rollins and your father are here." Taylor announces and we all sit down at the dining table, while Gail serves a glass of apple juice for Ana, wine for me and my Dad and a water for Rollins.

"So, Miss Steele, are you comfortable with me sharing what we have found in front of Mr. Grey and his father."

"Yes, of course, that is why I asked you to stop by at this hour."

"Good, so, as I have already told you, we have searched Mr. Rodriguez' apartment. While doing so we discovered this amongst other things."

He places pictures in front of Ana and she gasps before handing them to me. Fucking hell! The bastard is god damn obsessed with my woman! The picture shows a bedroom and all the walls are full of pictures of Ana. I can't make out all of them, but I would bet my ass that most of them have been taken without Ana's knowledge.

"We have also searched Mr. Rodriguez' laptop and we have found many video files on it. I have copies here." Rollins says and places a laptop on the table. He starts it up and turns it so Ana and I can watch.

"Oh my God, Christian that is my old apartment in Vancouver." Ana gasps clearly horrified as she watches herself getting changed, brushing her hair, getting ready for bed… Jesus the sick bastard must have had cameras everywhere in her old apartment.

"Miss Steele, have you been aware that you were filmed?"

"What? No! Oh my God, I can't believe this… this has to be illegal, right? Isn't that invasion of my privacy or something like that?" Ana asks and my father nods at her.

"There have been hundreds of files like this one, some date back as far as three years ago, do you have any idea how Mr. Rodriguez managed to get into your apartment to set up all the cameras without your knowledge?"

I watch Ana intently and suddenly she looks sick. "He… he had a key. My roommate and I both had lost our keys several times, so we left a spare set at his place, because he lived nearby." She murmurs.

"Miss Steele, you have mentioned a roommate, would that be her?" Rollins asks and starts a different video.

Fuck me, it's Kate and Elliot having sex.

"I… I need to call Kate; she needs to know about this. Do you have a little more time, Detective Rollins?" Ana asks and he tells her that he will wait until Kate is here, because clearly, she needs to press charges against the little fucker as well.

Ana gets up makes the phone call and fifteen minutes later Elliot and Kate arrive.

"Ana, what is wrong?" Kate asks immediately when she pulls her into a hug.

"Jose broke into my apartment last night. He is under arrest, the police searched his place and Detective Rollins came here to show me what they have found. Kate… I… he had our place in Vancouver bugged with hidden cameras… most of the videos he kept have been of me… but umm… here." She says and leads Kate to the dining table where she starts the video again.

"Oh my god…I … where is that fucking pig? How dare he! Please switch it off." Kate murmurs and she is really fucking pale.

"Dad, can I sue that fucking asshole? Damn it, Kate don't cry." Elliot says and pulls her into his arms.

"I feel freaking violated; I mean who does that, stuff the apartment of someone else with hidden cameras to film them? That's disgusting!" Kate hisses and I couldn't agree with her more.

"Detective Rollins, what are you doing to keep Rodriguez locked away?"

"Mr. Grey, as of now, I have to admit, that while he will be put through a trial, we don't have enough to get him locked away for long. Breaking and entering, as well as stalking will put him away for five years maximum… however, he seems to be mentally unstable, if it's enough to consider him a permanent danger to Miss Steele and the society in general or himself then it is very well possible that he is going to be admitted to a psychiatric facility for much longer. We have to go through all the evidence to present a strong case to the DA, but I am sure with your father as the representative of Miss Steele and possibly Miss Kavanagh the judge will make the right decision." He says and after talking to Kate and Elliot for a few more minutes he leaves.

"Dad, you better make sure the fucker gets locked away, because if not, I will knock his fucking lights out."

"Elliot, please, just let me do my job." My Dad sighs, he hates it when one of us says something like that, but I get where my brother is coming from.

"Dad, I'm with Elliot on this. The guy is a freaking pervert who turned Ana's and Kate's apartment into his personal peep show. He needs to be locked away!"

"And I will make sure that is what is going to happen, but you two hot heads will have to let me do my job. I do understand that both of you are angry about this, quite frankly, his behavior has been disgusting, but threatening to bring harm to him or actually doing it will only get you in trouble and make him look like the victim. Now, I will have to make some phone calls, I will be back tomorrow." My Dad says and leaves after saying his goodbyes.

"Well, that was one way to ruin my night." Elliot mutters and gets himself a beer from the fridge. "Want one too, Katie?"

"No… oh my god, do you think he posted the video online? What if he did? What if my Dad sees it, he doesn't know that I already had sex… oh and my grandparents… they'll think I'm a slut and …" Ana stops Kate's rambling by grabbing her by the shoulders and looking straight at her.

"Stop, I know this is messed up, but I don't think he posted anything online, he couldn't, because had he done so and the video would have surfaced somehow, we would have found the cameras." She says to her and Kate nods.

"You are right, but still, I just don't want my parents to know that I… you know… I mean have you told your parents that you had sex?" She asks and Elliot and I both exchange a look as if to say 'what the hell?' but Ana keeps a totally straight face and replies.

"No, and once my little Jesus is born, I'm going to legally change my name to Mary." She says deadpan and I have to laugh.

"OMG, right, I totally forgot. Wow, that's kind of embarrassing, I mean I don't want my parents to know that I'm doing it like ever." She says and now even Elliot is laughing.

"Babe, I don't want to burst your bubble, but I'm pretty sure they know. Especially after we went to Barbados with them and you've been all over my junk while they've been sleeping in the room next door. Anyway, we were about to go to the movies, we can still make it, want to join us?" He asks Ana and I. I look at Ana, really I would much rather stay home, but if she wants to go to the movies I'll tag along.

"Actually, I was looking forward to a quiet night in, but if you want to join them we can go."

"No, let's stay, after all we have something important to do." I reply and retrieve my list with names from my jeans pocket.

"Well then, let's go Katie. See you guys at the house tomorrow." He says and so they leave and Ana deflates into her chair.

"I don't know about you, but I would kill for a beer right now." She says.

"How about a hot chocolate instead?" I ask knowing that she loves hot chocolate.

"Can we mix white and milk chocolate?" She asks and I nod. I make my way into the kitchen and grab the box with the hot chocolate pops I asked Gail to buy, while Ana puts two cups with milk in the microwave.

"Are you okay, Ana?" I ask, because while her initial reaction to what that fucker has done was completely normal, she now seems as though nothing happened.

"Yes, why?"

"Well, after what that sick bastard did…" I start but she holds both hands up to stop me.

"Christian please, I just want to forget it ever happened. I had enough stress for a lifetime in the last couple of months, all I want is some peace and quiet. All the stress is not good for our son, so for now, I will just tuck it away, otherwise I will be fuming all night and most likely lay in bed all night thinking about it… so can we just have a quiet evening?" She asks and I nod.

"Sure, so do you want to mix later or just put half of two into your cup?" I ask and open the box so Ana can choose her chocolate pops.

A little later we settle down on the sofa and we exchange our list. I look at the names and find that we have both selected the names Liam, Mason and Derek.

"So, I guess that boils it down to three names." I say and Ana nods.

"Is one of them your favorite?" She asks and I know that hers is one of them.

"Which one is yours?"

"I really like Liam. It's short, easy to pronounce and goes well with your name, which one is your favorite?"

"Mason and Liam… so how about our first son is going to be called Liam Raymond Grey and our second son will be named Mason?"

"What if our second child is going to be a girl?" She asks with a smirk and try not to let her see that the thought of having a daughter is freaking me out.

"Well, if we have a girl her middle name will be Grace and the color of my hair will match my last name in no time." I joke and Ana laughs.

"I happen to think that men with gray hair are sexy, so we need to have at least one girl and she will not just have a great father to keep her safe, but also a big brother who I am sure will be just as protective over her… Liam Grey." Ana says with a huge smile and rests her hands on her belly.

I just look at her, amazed at how much my life has changed since I have met her. Before we met, I would have never thought that one day I would sit in my living room discussing baby names or that I would be as happy as I am knowing that only in a few months, I am going to be father… but I am, I can't wait for my son to be born, to hold him, watch him grow up, play ball games with him… take him fishing… teach him how to ride a bike or just to read him a bedtime story. All the things my Dad has done with me when I was a kid and that I almost forgot about, now those memories are all back and I hope I can be as good of a father as my Dad has always been to my siblings and me.

The next day my Dad informs me that Rodriguez has been sent to a mental facility, because the doctor who evaluated him is convinced, that he is in need of intense therapy. My Dad wouldn't go into any details, but the guy must be completely delusional and as long as he is locked away and off the streets I'm fine with it.

Around noon I ask Andrea to order lunch when she announces that Taylor and Andrew Huntington, head of my legal team, are here to see me. Once they are inside I can tell that Taylor is really pissed.

"What is wrong, Taylor?"

"This letter arrived for you today, Sir." He says and hands me an envelope, I take it and start to read the letter.

 _Dear Christian,_

 _I hope this letter finds you well. Since I have had a lot of time on my hands in the last few months, I have done a lot of thinking. You may not want to believe me, but I need to let you know, that everything I did, I did with your best interest at heart. I do understand that I deserve to be punished, but not like this. Darling, I'm not made for life in jail and I do believe that we can come to an agreement that would benefit both of us. I will gladly take any and all punishments you see fit, but darling you have to help me. By now you must know that I have been right. Anastasia is nothing but a gold digger who got pregnant on purpose to trap you. Next, she will demand for you to marry her and once she gets bored she will take you to the cleaners. She is manipulating you, trying to turn you into someone you are not. Deep down you know that you will never be a family man. You are a Dominant, Christian, your only need is control and she will take that away from you. Are you even sure that the child she is carrying is yours? Please be careful, darling. Do the right thing and get rid of her and the child before they ruin everything you have worked for so hard. I have talked to my lawyer and he told me that things are not looking good for me, so I'm begging you to help me, just like I have helped you ever since you've been fifteen years old. Deep down you know that she is not what you need, but I can satisfy all of your needs and will do so gladly if given the chance. That is why I am asking you to help me, if I had a better lawyer and you would come forward in my defense, I know I can leave prison in no time. Just think about it, you and me, we could be together again, like old times. Don't allow her to ruin what we had and still have._

 _Sincerely yours,_

 _Elena_

Fucking hell! I get up and start to pace. Shit, I need to get out of here! Grabbing my suit jacket, I leave my office.

"Andrea, cancel my lunch order, I'm heading out for lunch, cancel the rest of my appointments as well, I won't be back today." I snap and get into the elevator with Taylor right behind me.

"Sir, do you want us to take actions, so Mrs. Lincoln won't be allowed to send any more letters to you?" Taylor asks and I nod. Fuck, I feel like I am about to lose it any second, how fucking dare she saying that Ana isn't right for me… that Liam is not my son…

"Yes, shut that bitch down!" I snap and once we are in the car I rub both hands through my hair.

"Where to, Sir?" Taylor asks and there is only one thing that I need right now.

"SIP." I mutter and ten minutes later he pulls up outside SIP, just when Ana steps outside. I get out of the car, walk straight up to her and lift her up in my arms, holding her close and breathe in her unique scent, which instantly calms me down.

"Christian what is wrong?" She asks worry evident in her voice.

"I'll tell you later, can we have lunch at Escala, I can't be in public right now."

"Sure, let's go." She says and we both get into the car, where I pull her in my lap and hold her close while both my hands rest on her belly where my son is growing.

At Escala I take quick shower and change, because frankly just knowing that I have touched something Elena has touched makes me feel dirty. When I return Ana is putting two plates with mac and cheese on the breakfast bar.

"Comfort food?" I ask smiling.

"Well, you seem upset and I know mac and cheese is one of your favorites." She says and I grab my jacket and hand it to her.

"There is a letter in the inside pocket." I murmur and sit down, watching as she reads it and her face turns from relaxed yet worried to fury.

"How is this bitch even allowed to sent you a letter? Oh my god, this is unreal… Christian you know that what she wrote is nothing but bullshit, right?"

"I know that you are nothing like she wrote and that Liam is our son… but what if she is right, what if I am not a family guy…"

"No! Now you will listen to me, Christian. Your reaction is exactly what she wants. She wants you to doubt yourself and believe that she is the only one you deserve. Elena Lincoln is a master manipulator… by doubting yourself you are giving her power over you. She is wrong Christian, you are a family guy, look at how carefree and happy you are around your family, you love our son so much already and he isn't even born yet. If there is anyone who will make a great father, then it's you. Don't doubt that because this miserable old bitch is trying to get into your head out of fear that she will never get out of prison ever again. Come, let's have lunch, then you will call Autumn and talk to her, I understand that this letter has upset you, but you can't allow her to doubt yourself any longer." Ana says and I get up to hold her in my arms once more.

"Thank you… when I read that letter, I got so mad and upset, I wanted to hurt someone… Elena … for a second I feared I would fall back into old patterns, but just seeing you… you pulled me right back out of my darkness."

"And I will always do just that, because you deserve to be in the light… to be happy." She says and in this moment I can't help myself I lean down and kiss her. Fuck, it's been so long, I've almost forgot how soft her lips are and how sweet she tastes. Deepening the kiss, I pull her closer careful not to squeeze her belly too much and enjoy the feel of her fingers gliding into my hair. When she tugs the feeling goes straight to my dick and he stands to attention. I don't want to stop kissing her, but I know I have to, so I pull back.

"Sorry, I just… "

"Don't apologize, it felt right, so… I might let you do that again." She says with a smile and sits down to eat, while I stare at the tent in my pants and smile like an idiot. It might have been just a kiss, but I'm sure if we continue on the path we have started, there will be a lot more than just kissing in our near future…


	20. Chapter 20

_**Since you all have voted to have two updates each week, here is a new chapter... Enjoy!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: All characters belong to E.L. James**_

* * *

 _ **Ana**_

Once we have had lunch, I change into something more comfortable and smile when I remember our kiss. To be honest, I didn't want him to stop, with my raging pregnancy hormones all I wanted was for him to bend me over the breakfast bar and fuck me hard. Though I guess him stopping when he did was a good thing. He was clearly upset and I know that sex was his coping mechanism along with punishing his sub. So falling back into that pattern, would have been a huge step back for him.

Now, he is in his study for an emergency skype session with Autumn, stepping back in to the kitchen to clean up, so Gail won't find her kitchen a mess when she returns from her doctor's appointment, I see the freaking letter that bitch has sent to Christian. I want to take it, rip it to shreds and then burn the fucking pieces of it to ashes.

Yes, I am angry that she basically called me a cheating, gold digging whore, who convinced Christian that the child she is carrying is his, when it is not. Above all however, I am so mad at her from trying to get into his head again, making doubt if he can be a good father and suggesting that she is what he needs, when really what he needs is for her to be out of his life for good with no contact at all.

I know he doesn't want to hear it, but what she did to him was rape. He wasn't old enough to consent and she took advantage of what Grace had told her about his issues with touching, as well as his self-loathing. She groomed him to meet her needs and didn't give a fuck about his needs. To me a person like her is the ultimate predator and even now she can't stay away from him. Some people understand their wrong doings in prison, but she is still thinking that she helped him or she just doesn't care and wants to use him one more time for her benefit.

Only this time it won't happen, because I do believe ever since she has been locked away Christian finally had the time to understand that what she has done to him was wrong. In addition, he now knows that his family loved him all along and he isn't going to throw that away for her, because it goes without saying that if he was to help her, he would not just lose me and every right to be a part of Liam's life, but also his family.

"Ana, Autumn has asked to see you for a moment." Christian says and I look up to find him standing at the entrance to his study.

"Sure." I smile at him and follow him to his study where I sit on his lap to we can both see Autumn on his computer.

"Hi Ana, Christian told me what happened with your friend and about the letter he received today, I just wanted to make sure you are fine. If you want to talk you can always call me for a session, you know that, right?" She says and I smile.

"Thanks, but I'm good. I'm so over dwelling on the negative things that have happened, that I have decided to just focus on the positive things."

"Okay, so tell me about the positive things." She says.

"Well, Christian and I get along better than ever and we have picked a name for our son. My mom and I are much closer since she moved in with me and I have already made some new friends in Seattle, in Christian's siblings and Claire who works as a receptionist at the publishing house I'm working at."

"That sounds great, you both need to have friends." She says and gives Christian a look.

"I don't need friends, Autumn, I have Ana and my siblings, that is all I need."

"You need friends too, Christian. When was the last time you went out to have a beer with the guys after work?"

"Um… that would be never." He says and my mouth drops open. For a second I hesitate, but then I decide to just go through with it. So I get up, take my phone from my jeans pocket and dial Elliot.

"Hey Ana banana, what's up?" He asks.

"I was wondering if you are having any plans for tonight."

"Yup, Ethan and I are going to a bar to watch the game, want some girl time with Katie?" He asks.

"Actually, that is a good idea, but I wanted to ask if you want to hang with Christian tonight… can he join you?"

"Really, how cool is that?! I'll pick him up around 7pm."

"Cool, bye Elliot." I hang up and find Christian staring at me.

"Your brother will pick you up around 7 pm, you are going to watch the game at a bar along with him and Ethan, Kate's brother." I tell him and he tries to look annoyed, but I can tell that he is excited.

"Don't give me that look, I can see that you are excited." I giggle and hear Autumn snort with laughter.

"Ana, look… yes, I do enjoy to spend time with my brother, but if he wanted me to be there, he would have called me." He says and I roll my eyes.

"He was thrilled, Christian. The only reason why your siblings are not calling you to hang out with them is, that you have said no so many times, they just don't see a point, so right now you have to make an effort. Oh… and I have talked to Gail yesterday, don't even think about doing the hermit thing on Thanksgiving and Christmas, because this year you will celebrate… see it as exercise for next year and many more years to come, where I won't accept you not celebrating with Liam and me."

"Why Miss Steele, I had no idea you could be so bossy." He smirks.

"I just don't want you to miss out on anything and Autumn is right, you need some downtime too. So, tonight you can just hang out with other guys your age, have some beers and whatever unhealthy food they are serving at the bar, while watching a game."

"Will you join us?" He asks and I sit on his lap again.

"No, if you don't mind I would like to call Mia, Kate and Claire to come over and hang out. You know order a pizza, talk about guys and watch a movie."

"That's fine with me."

"Great, I'll call them now, you talk a bit more with Autumn." I get up wave at Autumn and leave his study to call my friends, who all agree to come over tonight.

Secretly, especially after the kiss we have shared today, I would have loved to spend more time with Christian alone, but we also have to spend time with our friends. It's not healthy to have a relationship where you spend all your free time together without seeing anyone else.

In the afternoon, Christian and I leave Escala, because he wants to show me the house. To my surprise neither Taylor nor Sawyer are following us. Instead Christian is driving us in his R8 and for some reason, watching him drive is really hot.

"Do I need to pull over for a quickie?" He asks suddenly and I get the soda I am sipping down the wrong pipe.

"Wh…what?" I croak and he laughs.

"You are flushed, you're pressing your thighs together and you have that fuck me look." He chuckles and I gape at him.

"I do not have a fuck me look!" I pout.

"Oh you do, Miss Steele, it's hot." He chuckles.

"It's those darn pregnancy hormones… and watching you drive is hot." I murmur embarrassed and smirks at me.

"Well, I can always find a sp…" He stops, annoyed, when his phone rings and answer the call.

"Ros… NO! God damn it, those stupid fuckers! No, I'll go, please get in touch with Andrea and let her make the arrangements for me to go next Tuesday… no I can't go before that we have the Russians coming in on Thursday and then I have an important meeting on Friday, if they can't wait they can go fuck themselves… yes, call me back." He says hangs up and hits the stirring wheel with both hands, making me jump in my seat.

"Sorry… fuck, looks I have to go to Detroit next week, the deal we are working on is going down south… can you reschedule the appointment with Dr. Greene for a week later?" He asks and I nod. Dr. Greene is going to make a few more tests to see if Liam has been affected by the drugs I was given at the hospital and I don't think that I will be able to face the results without him by my side to support me.

"Good." He says clipped and I can tell that he really doesn't want to go on this trip. I would love to ask him why this business trip is stressing him out so much, but he doesn't seem to want to talk about it, so I keep my mouth shut until he pulls up in front of a huge wrought iron gate.

After typing in a code the gate opens and he drives up a long drive way and I can see the meadow, the grass is really tall and full of leaves that have come off the trees surrounding it, but I can imagine that it must be breath-taking in spring and summer with countless wild flowers and green grass.

"I love the meadow." I murmur and from the corner of my eye see Christian smile. When he turns a corner the house comes into view and it is huge… really huge.

For a second, I want to say something, but stop myself and as I get out of the car I feel something I wasn't expecting at all, I feel … like coming home.

 _ **Christian**_

Even a couple hours later, I'm still stoked because Ana really loves the house. The moment we stepped inside, I could see that she loved it and was already turning it into our home in her head. She surprised both Elliot and myself when she asked tons of questions about stuff I haven't even heard of, but Elliot knew what she was talking about.

Later I remembered that her Dad is carpenter and that she has worked at a hardware store all through college, so even though she says she sucks at DIY, she clearly knows all about renovating and what materials are needed. For a while, I felt like an idiot, because I had no clue what my brother and Ana were discussing, but she seemed so excited that I just let it go.

After that, I showed her all of the house and of course, Ana being Ana, she was most excited when I showed her the room that is going to be the library. It will also be her study, because even if she doesn't work, I know that Ana needs something to do and maybe staying home with our son will give her enough time to write, because she once told me, that she dreams of writing her own novel one day.

We also agreed on having a playground for Liam, both outside in the backyard and inside next to the gym, so he can play and run around, even if the weather is not good enough to go outside. Elliot also told us that we can have an inside pool, in addition to the one that is already outside, which is great, because this way I can include swimming laps into my daily workout routine.

A quick glance at the clock on my laptop shows me that Elliot and Ethan will be here soon. I wanted to meet Ethan Kavanagh for a while now, because Mia told me four weeks ago when she called me that they have been dating for a while now, which apparently no one besides me knows, because they want to see if they will work out before they let everyone know that they are in relationship. His background check came back without any red flags and while I hate the fact that my little sister is seeing anyone, at least on paper Kavanagh seems to be a decent guy.

Leaving my study, I find Ana in the kitchen making popcorn and what looks like pitchers with cocktails.

"Cocktails?" I ask, I know Ana is responsible and wouldn't drink, but why would she even tempt herself like that.

"All virgins, Mia has sent me some great recipes. Kate and Claire have to work tomorrow and Mia has to drive back to Bellevue, so neither of us can have a drink." She says and suddenly giggles.

"What?"

"Umm… well, since it won't get me into trouble anymore, remember the one weekend you had to go to New York, while I was your sub."

"Sure, what about it?"

"Kate and I decided to get drunk and have some fun with it, so we googled cocktails and went to a bar where we only ordered cocktails with really bizarre names. She ordered an Adios motherfucker and I had a Red Headed Slut… the bartender must have thought we are crazy, did you know that when you order a shot of Bailey's with Sambuca that it is called a Slippery Nipple?" She says still giggling and I try hard not to smile.

"So, you broke the rules? Miss Steele, I am shocked." I reply trying my best to keep a straight face.

"Sometimes, but it was fun, we ended up in a karaoke bar and had a blast. Though I had to bribe Kate not to tell Elliot that I got shit-faced so you wouldn't find out… in hindsight that night was the best decision of my life."

"Oh and why is that?"

"Well, the next morning I had the worst hangover and forgot to take the pill, when I remembered it was already too late to take it, but I took it anyway, only to get sick again. I guess, that is why the pill wasn't effective and little Liam came to be." She says with a smile and caresses her belly.

"Is that so, well, Miss Steele, in this case I have to agree that breaking the rules was the best thing for both of us."

"Yo! Bro, we are here!" I hear Elliot holler as he comes in with Kate and whom I assume is her brother.

"Hey, I'm Ethan, nice to meet you." He says and we shake hands before he gives Ana a quick hug and the only reason why I'm not knocking his lights out for touching her is that I know that he is into Mia and not Ana.

"Wow, look at you, Ana… who would have thought that you would be the first to have a kid, especially since Kate always said the poor guy who ends up with you would probably need a crowbar to get you to open your legs." He laughs and my mouth drops open, but Ana laughs.

"Oh come on, she's just jealous, because she needs a vice to keep her legs shut." She replies.

"Bitch!" Kate laughs and they hug, so I guess that is just some kind of friendly banter between them.

"Oh okay guys, time to get the hell out, let the girls have some fun." Elliot says and so we leave and head to a bar just around the corner from Escala. We sit down at a table with perfect view of the large flat screen TV and Elliot orders beer, burgers and fries for us.

"So… spill bro, are you back together with Ana?" Elliot asks and I sigh.

"Hell if I know. It's complicated, we are working on our issues and we have gotten a lot closer ever since I'm back from Aspen… she agreed that we would move into the house together and we want to raise our son together… but we haven't fucked yet if that's what you want to know."

"That's good, but damn how do you manage to be around her without fucking her, I mean even I have noticed that she gets hotter by the day it feels since she is pregnant." Elliot says and I glare at him.

"That's just the problem, if it was up to me, I would fuck her senseless at any given chance, but I'm not sure that is what she wants. Before all that shit went down, our relationship was basically solely about fucking and I don't want her to think I want to go back to that, but I feel like my dick has his own mind, because he stands to attention the second Ana steps into the room."

"Want my advice?" Kavanagh asks and I raise a questioning brow at him.

"Hey, I have known Ana since she moved in with Kate four years ago, plus I'm a psychology major, so do you want my opinion or not?" He says and shoves some fries into his mouth.

"Go on." I mutter and watch him take a long sip of beer before he starts to talk.

"Wait for her to make the first move, this way you know that she is ready. Sure the waiting sucks, but if you make the first move and she feels pressured into it, everything you have achieved until that point will turn to shit." He says and his words reflect my thoughts on it exactly. I know that I could easily seduce Ana, especially with here raging pregnancy hormones, but that's not what I want.

"Easy for you to say, dude. When was the last time you've been with girl without getting any pussy?" Elliot smirks and I roll my eyes.

"Actually, I've been seeing the same girl for three months now and we haven't had sex so far."

"Three months? What's wrong with her?" Elliot wants to know and Kavanagh shifts in his seat.

"She's never done it before, so she wants to be sure we will work out. Can't blame her for that, actually, it makes me respect her a lot more. Plus, she is a great girl, so I can wait for her to be ready."

"Hot?" He asks and Kavanagh smirks.

"Prettiest girl I have ever met." He says and I make a mental note to tell Mia that she has made the right choice by starting to date him. He seems to be a decent guy, who treats her with respect and that's something I can't say about any of the other fuckers my little sister has dated so far.

"Well, I wouldn't wait... but then again, I don't have to because my Katie likes to fuck just as much as I do." He says with a smug smirk and Kavanagh punches him in the shoulder.

"Dude, that's my sister you are talking about, I don't need to hear that shit about her." Kavanagh says disgusted and try not to laugh.

"Just saying… anyway, bro, I hate to say it, but good old Ethan here is right, let Ana make the first move, so you know she is ready… for your sake I hope she does so before your dry spell starts."

"What?"

"Didn't know? Once she has popped the little fella out there will be no sex for about six weeks." He grins and I close my eyes. Shit, I had no fucking idea… damn if she doesn't make a move before Liam is born I'm looking at about seven and a half months without sex… damn I'm cursed!

Taking a long sip from my beer, I decide to let the topic go for now and watch the game, after making a bet with Elliot and Ethan to see who wins.

I have just won the bet, when my phone buzzes and I see a text from Ros, saying that my trip to Detroit is arranged. Well fuck, looks like I have to go back to that hell hole of a city I escaped when I was adopted by the Grey's…


	21. Chapter 21

_**Ana**_

I close my laptop and sigh. Something isn't right with Christian. He had to go to Detroit for business, we have skyped every evening for the last four days and I really miss him. But what's more so, he seems so different, so distant… sad even. I just can't take it and open my laptop again. First I check my account balance and then I try to find a cheap ticket. I need to see him, find out what is going on. Maybe it is just work that is stressing him out, but I believe it is more than that.

After almost an hour I give up. I just can't afford a ticket and of course, I'm crying again.

"Ana, darling what happened?" I hear my mother behind me and quickly wipe my tears away.

"It's nothing, just pregnancy hormones"

"Well, something must have happened to make you cry, pregnant or not." My mom says and sits down next to me.

"It's just, I miss Christian and he won't be back before next week. He seems different, mom… I'm worried about him and I was thinking about flying down to Detroit to see him… but I can't afford a ticket." I tell her and she hugs me.

"Why don't you go and take a nice long bath. I bought a really nice bath oil, it will help you relax a bit." She says and I nod. This may not help me with figuring out what is going on with Christian, but at least it will help me relax a bit.

An hour later I get back into my bedroom and frown when I find my mom going through my drawers and putting things into a duffel bag.

"Mom, what are you doing?"

"I'm helping you pack. I checked the weather forecast and it is freezing in Detroit." She says.

"But I can't afford to go."

"Really, that's funny, what's lying on your desk then?" She asks and I grab the cheat of paper. When I see that it is a booking confirmation for plane tickets I'm in tears again.

"Mom, you didn't have to do this, I know you need your money…"

"Hush darling, you know, Bob used to take me to so many different places that I still have tons of air miles, so I used them to buy your tickets. I have already called Sawyer and he booked himself on the same flight, he also informed Taylor that you will arrive in the early evening, though he won't tell Christian, so it will be a surprise for him." She says and I hug my mom.

"Thank you, mom."

The next day I leave work around noon, since I'm only working part-time until my maternity leave starts. Sawyer drives us to the airport and I'm really glad when after four hours we arrive in Detroit and he drives us to Christian's hotel. Taylor let us know that I won't need to book myself a room, because Christian's suite has two bedrooms. He also let the front desk know that we would arrive today, so we wouldn't have any troubles to get into the suite.

Once inside Sawyer leaves to get settled in his room and I know I still have about two hours left before Christian will be back. Since the suite comes with a kitchen and everything, I call the front desk to ask if there is a supermarket nearby so I can buy some things to cook dinner and I'm surprised when they tell me to just tell them what I need and the kitchen would send it up to the suite for me.

As soon as I have everything I need I start to cook my famous lasagna for us along with some dinner rolls and a salad. Just when everything is ready I hear the door open.

"I don't give a fuck Taylor, I told you it's set, I'm leaving on Tuesday at latest." He hisses and slams the door shut.

"God damn fucking hell hole of a city!" He mutters under his breath.

"Bad day?" I ask and step around the corner. Christian stops mid stride, his hand still on his tie to loosen it. His eyes widen in surprise and when I smile at him and step closer, he closes the distance and pulls me into his embrace.

"Oh my god, please be real, I have missed you so much:" He murmurs into my hair and I look up at him.

"I missed you too, so I've decided to come here for the weekend…. Is everything alright? You seemed off when we talked, I was worried."

"I'm fine now… it's just this town… a lot of bad memories." He says and I frown.

"I was born here, Ana." He says and I hug him even tighter.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No, you being here is all I need… is that food I'm smelling?"

"Yup, I've made lasagna, dinner rolls and salad."

"Perfect, can I change really quick?"

"Sure, I get everything ready in the meantime." I reply and watch him leave. I had no idea that he has born here, I just assumed he was from Seattle, but now it really starts to make sense, being back must have brought up a lot of bad memories for him, so I hope me being here is the distraction he needs right now.

After we had dinner, we are both pretty tired, so we just talk for a little while and then both go to bed, but I wake up in the middle of the night when I hear footsteps outside my room.

I get up and open the door to find Christian who is pacing the hallway in his pj bottoms.

"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up… I can't sleep… I thought by making my peace with Ella the nightmares were gone for good, but since I'm here they are back with a vengeance." He says and rubs his face.

"Wait, you've been here for four days and you haven't slept ever since?" I ask concerned.

"All in all maybe four hours." He says and I shake my head.

"That's not enough, come lay down with me, you need to sleep." I hold out my hand to him, but he hesitates.

"I can't, my nightmares can be violent… I would never forgive myself if I ended up hurting you in my sleep."

"Christian, I trust you, I know you would never hurt me, not even in your sleep. Please come to bed." I continue to hold my hand out to him and finally he takes it.

We walk back into the bedroom I'm sleeping in and lay down in bed.

"I don't have any appointments on Sunday, I want to see Ella's grave, will you come with me?" He asks after a few moments of silence.

"Yes, do you know where she is buried?"

"Yes, my father told me."

"Good, then we can go together, try to sleep now." I say quietly because he looks so tired, he can barely keep his eyes open and soon he is asleep.

I stay awake and just watch him, ready to wake him if he has another nightmare and soon he seems distressed in his sleep. He starts to move around and his lips are moving, but I can't make out what he is saying. For a second I'm unsure of what to do, but when he starts to twist and turn I kneel up in bed and grab his shoulders.

"Christian, wake up, you are dreaming." I say rather loudly and his eyes snap open, so I let go of his shoulders and sit back on my heels.

"Did, I hurt you?" He asks immediately.

"No, but you were having a nightmare."

"I know, fuck… it's like this city is punishing me for coming back." He says and he locks so tired and lost that it hurts me to see him like this.

"Maybe it's because being here brought back memories you have pushed away for far too long."

"Yes, maybe… you need to sleep, Ana. I'll go back to my room." He says, but for some reason, I don't want him to leave, so I grab his wrist to stop him from getting up and look up at him.

"Stay."

"Ana, you need to sleep and…" I don't let him finish and instead lean in closer and kiss him.

"Make love to me, Christian." I whisper against his lips. That's all the invitation he needs within a second he kisses me back feverishly, sending tingling waves through my body.

While we continue to kiss, I lean back until I'm resting with my head on the pillow and him above me, never breaking the kiss, while his hands have found their way under my nightgown.

I want to touch him too so badly, but refrain myself and instead place my hands above my head where he can see them, because I don't want to ruin this moment by accidently touching him.

He breaks the kiss to take my sleep shirt off and continues to kiss me down my neck, along my collarbone and down to my breasts. I can feel my nipples tighten when he gently blows against them and moan when he takes one in his mouth, the feel of it travels all the way down to my core in heated waves, but he continues his way down south and I jump a little when he kisses the scar on my belly, where I needed to have surgery.

"Does it still hurt?" He asks looking up into my eyes.

"No, it's just really sensitive." I whisper and he kisses it again and continues to kiss every inch of my torso until he has reached his goal and his tongue flicks over my sex, sending shivers all over my body. When he continues his sweet assault, I find myself unable to stop moving or be quiet and much to my delight he doesn't say anything about it like he would have done just a few months ago when I was his sub and he was my Dom.

"You are so wet, baby… always ready for me." He says and if I'm not mistaken there is wonder in his voice.

"It's because I want you so much… oh god… ohhhh…" I moan, when he starts to suck on my clit and pushes one finger inside me.

"I want you too, baby." He whispers against me and continues to bring me to the brink of orgasm, but just when I'm about to cum, he stops and instead kisses his way back up my body, until he is hovering over me, smiling at me as I pout.

"All in good time, baby. I want to feel you cum, while I'm buried deep inside of you." He says and kisses me as he enters me in one swift move and that is my undoing, my body arches off the bed and I moan into his mouth as my body convulses in waves of pleasure.

When the aftershocks of my orgasm slowly subside, I open my eyes and he is smiling down at me.

"Hey ready for more?"

"I always want more with you." I reply and his answering smile is glorious, as he starts to move deep inside of me.

"Touch me, Ana." I hear him whisper into my ear and gasp.

"But…."

"Touch me, please." He repeats and a little hesitantly I rest my hands on his shoulders and let them travel down his back. I watch his face as I touch him and for a second he seems to tense, but relaxes into my touch, as we continue in perfect sync until I climax again with him at the same time.

A few minutes later I cuddled up against him and he has his hand over mine, which is resting over his heart on his chest… where I was never allowed to touch him.

"I never thought I would ever be in love… I didn't even believe that I am capable of loving someone… and then you came into my life. I knew I had to have you, I was obsessed with you, crazy about you and still, I didn't think it was love or allowed myself to see the depth of the feelings I have for you… and then I nearly lost you. I sat with you for some many hours while you were in a coma, tried to come up with something to let you know how I feel about you… something you may be able to feel even in a coma. So, I took you hand and placed it on my chest. At first, I felt the same burn I always feel when someone touches me, but slowly is subsided and turned into something different… it… it felt right, like you touching me was something that is meant to be… I don't want any boundaries between us Ana. This is me, all of me and I'm all yours." He says making me cry and smile at the same time as I lean over to kiss him.

"I love you, Christian Grey… so, so much." I whisper and he smiles the most adorable shy smile, before he pulls me closer to him and kisses my temple.

"I love you too, baby, now try to sleep." He says softly and as soon as I have closed my eyes, I feel so safe in his arms that I fall asleep immediately.

When I wake up, the room is bathed in soft light and Christian is sleeping peacefully behind me, with his arms and legs wrapped around me to hold me close.

My gaze finds the clock on the wall and I gasp. It's almost noon and I know that Christian has a lunch meeting in a little over an hour.

"Christian, wake up." I whisper and try to turn around to face him, but he only holds on to me tighter in his sleep.

"Christian… you need to wake up, you are running late for your appointment." I say a little louder and feel him stir behind me.

"What?" I hear him murmur as he kisses my shoulder.

"It's almost noon, you have to get up or you will be running late for you meeting." I repeat, slightly distracted by his hands that are all over my body.

"Noon?" He calls out and sits up straight in bed. "Fuck, I'm going to be late, sorry baby, I need to hurry." He says in a rush and I'm treated to fine sight of naked Christian jumping out of bed and hurrying out of my bedroom to get ready.

I decide to get up too, put my sleep shirt back on and use the bathroom before I head into the kitchen where I fill two travel mugs with coffee and make some fruit salad as quick breakfast for Christian. I've just put it into a plastic container when Taylor enters the suite and Christian comes rushing out of his bedroom ready to conquer the business world.

"Here, take this," I hand Christian one of the travel mugs with coffee and the small container of fruit salad along with a fork, before handing the second travel mug to Taylor.

"Thanks baby, I try to be quick. Do you have plans?"

"No, it's too cold to go out, so I'll just wait for you."

"Get pampered, the hotel has a spa, just put the bill in my name." He says kisses me and with that both men leave.

After I have ordered myself a late breakfast, I take a shower and get ready for the day, but an hour into watching crap TV, I decide to at least check out the spa. I'm not really into all of the pampering, but a mani/pedi would be nice, so I call the front desk to find out if they offer something like that and the receptionist schedules me in, so I can go right down to get my nails done.

The beauty technician tries to get me sold on getting a full body massage, but since I can't lay on my stomach anymore and the fact that the only have two male masseuses on duty today I pass on her offer and instead ask Sawyer to head to a nearby supermarket with me, where I buy all the ingredients I need to make dinner for Christian and I.

Finally, around six in the evening, he returns, but is yelling at someone on the phone. Just looking at him, I can tell that he is really stressed out and in desperate need to release some stress.

"Two more minutes." He mouths at me and I smile at him and decide to be a bit naughty, so I take my dress off and walk over to him just in my bra and panties and drop to my knees. His eyes widen when I look up at him and reach up to undo his fly, but he gives me a look that clearly says that he is game, so I reach into his boxer briefs and free his cock.

While I am stroking him, I have to bite the insides of my cheeks, because even though he is already rock hard in my hands he is still giving the poor person on the receiving end of his angry phone call hell. When I see the first drops of pre-cum on the tip of his cock I spread it around with my thumb and lean forward to take him into my mouth. While I pleasure the head of his erection with my mouth, I feel him lean over me and he unhooks my bra with one hand, so I wiggle my shoulders a bit until the straps come down and let the bra fall to the floor between us.

As soon as he ends the call, I go all in, deep-throating him repeatedly, while his hands are cupping my head, guiding me up and down on his cock. When I take him in all the way to the root, he makes a sound deep in his throat that is so sexy, I feel my already damp panties getting even more damp.

"Oh fuck, can you do that again?" He moans and I take him deep into my mouth, relax my throat and swallow, allowing myself to take him in all the way. I do it twice more and he gets really loud, louder than I have ever heard him before.

"That's so good, baby… fuck… no more, I want to cum inside you." He damn near growls and when I release him from my mouth, he pulls me up, rips my panties off me and lifts me so I'm on the couch with him, kneeling over his hard cock.

I reach between us and guide him to my entrance so I can lower myself down on him, when he is fully inside me, I wrap my arms around his neck and slowly start to move, while he grabs me hips and we kiss.

At first I move slowly, but he urges me to move faster which I do, until we both find our release and he holds me close to him, while I try to get my rapid breathing under control.

"Thank you, baby… that was just what needed."

"Are they still making things difficult?" I ask and rest my head on his chest.

"They want more money, but have no grounds to justify their demands. I gave them a deadline until Tuesday, if they don't take my offer until then it's hostile takeover time. I'm so done with them trying to fuck me over." He says and kisses the top of my head.

"As if they would stand a chance." I say with a smile and get up.

"Hey, whatever happened to cuddling after sex?" He asks with a boyish grin when I put my dress back on.

"I had no idea that you are a cuddler, Mr. Grey, but we can cuddle all you like later, because now I have to check on our food." I say with a smile and head into the kitchen of the suite, where I get the chicken out of the oven, get the veggies off the stove and set up the table so we can eat, while Christian freshens up before dinner.

The next day we spent the morning in bed and get ready to visit Ella's grave. Christian seems tense, but I know this is something he needs to do, so Taylor drives us to the cemetery and we visit a flower shop, that is right next to it, to get some flowers.

We walk for about twenty minutes until we find her grave. To our surprise, she has a beautiful headstone and the grave must have been looked after over the years.

"Did your mother have any friends or relatives who would look after her grave?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"No, I don't think so." He murmurs and picks up a really pretty looking stone that was lying on top of the headstone.

"Of course, she would do that." He says with a smile.

"Who?"

"My mother, Grace, she must have looked after Ella's grave all these years. She collects stones… it's some kind of weird hobby, but when she sees a nice looking pebble or stone she takes it with her. I think this one is from the beach at the Hamptons." He says and places it back on the headstone.

"I'll wait over there by the bench." I let him know, because I feel like he needs some privacy to really say the things to her he wants to say. So I stroll over to a nearby wooden bench and watch Christian as he stares at the grave for a long time and finally places the flowers he has bought on the ground. He looks at the headstone for a few more minutes and I think he is saying something, but I'm too far away to be sure.

When he returns, he is smiling and sits down next to me.

"So, how do you feel after visiting her grave?" I ask and he takes my hand in his.

"Better, somehow lighter… it feels like with me being here, telling her goodbye… I don't know, I guess this chapter of my life has become full circle now and I can move to a new and much happier chapter." He says and places his hand on my belly.

I'm so glad that I have decided to come to Detroit to see Christian, because even though we still have a lot of things to work out, I know now without a doubt that we can make it as a couple…


	22. Chapter 22

_**Christian**_

As soon as the door of the jet is open I get up and hurry towards it. Ana had to go back to Seattle on Sunday evening, while I had to stay in Detroit until Wednesday, so I could finally seal the deal. Now, I'm back and I can already see Ana waiting with Sawyer by the car to pick me up.

We had a skype session with Autumn yesterday where I brought up, that I want Ana to move in with me. I just want to spend all of my free time with her, but in the end we had to compromise… well I had. We agreed that once the house at the sound is ready we will move in there together, but until then she will stay at her apartment. I of course didn't like the idea at all, but Ana wanted to live a bit longer with her mom, because this is the first time since she was a kid that they are living together and get along, so she just wanted a bit more time with her mother.

In addition, Autumn pointed out that a move is always stressful and with Ana being pregnant and in need to take things slow, two moves before Liam is born won't be good for her. So, instead of going to Escala, I will stay at Ana's place tonight. I can honestly say that staying over at my girlfriend's place will be first for me, one I'm for some reason really looking forward too.

My Dad called me yesterday to let me know that Rodriguez has to stay at a mental facility for at least six months, before the court will have him evaluated again to see if he has to be permanently admitted. I haven't figured out a plan yet, but I will make sure that he is going to stay there for the rest of his life. That fucker is a danger to Ana and women in general, because even if he doesn't go after Ana again, who is to say that he won't find a new victim for his sick obsession.

Taylor took care of the Elena situation and her trial is scheduled to start in three weeks and the district attorney is one tough mother fucker who is known to get what he wants, so I'm positive that she will end up in jail for the rest her life, which is just what I want.

"Christian!" I hear Ana call out in delight and look up to where she stands, but she is already running towards me and I catch her when she jumps into my arms to kiss me.

"Missed me?" I ask with a smirk and gives me a sweet shy smile.

"Maybe."

"Let's go to your place, there is someone who missed you just as much as I did and he needs a lot of your attention today." I whisper against her lips and hold her closer so she can feel my hard on pressing against her.

"Sounds like a good plan." She says with a smile and we get into the car, where I press the button for the privacy glass and start to make out with her. Damn, I just can't get enough of her!

At her place we get out of the car, desperate to get somewhere where we can lock the door and fuck without anyone interrupting us.

"Miss Steele! Miss Steele, I need to talk to you." We hear a guy call out and turn around to find a young man wearing a cheap suit running towards us. Sawyer and Taylor jump in immediately to stop him.

"Sir, please get Miss Steele upstairs." Taylor says.

"No, please, Miss Steele, I need to talk to you. My name is Jimmy Ingalls, I'm the lawyer of Mrs. Elena Lincoln." He calls out and if it wasn't for Ana clinging to my side, I would have knocked his lights out by now for approaching her.

"You need to fuck off!" I hiss at him.

"Please Ma'am, just give me five minutes." He yells at us and taking my hand Ana steps forward while Sawyer and Taylor both hold the fucker back from getting closer to her.

"Mr. Ingalls, we have nothing to discuss. Your client is a pedophile who tried to murder me and my unborn child. To this day we have no idea if the child I am carrying will be disabled due to drugs I had to be given at the hospital in order to save my life. Elena Lincoln is right where she belongs and she will remain in prison once she has been lawfully punished for her wrong doings. If you want to help her case, then tell her to show some dignity and own up to her wrong doings instead of sending disturbing letters to my boyfriend and having you harass me in public. Now if you'll excuse us, my boyfriend just arrived home from a business trip and we want to be alone." She says and turns around, we head into the building and in the lobby she explodes.

"Can you believe this? What is wrong with her? Does she think sending her lawyer here to harass me is going to win her any sympathies during the trial?" She says and I pull her into my arms.

"She is fucking desperate, baby. She knows that things are not looking well for her, so she is trying to get one of us to speak in her defense." I murmur into her hair, but this has gone too far. Sending me that fucking letter is one thing, but trying to contact Ana is a completely different story. Elena tried to fucking kill her, she ran her over with her car not once, but fucking twice. She can't plea that she was temporarily insane when she did that or that it was an act of passion or whatever fucking excuse some fuckers try in court to get a lower sentence. She knew what she was doing, there are eye witnesses who said that Elena pulled the car back after she had hit her for the first time, then waited for a few seconds to see if she was still moving and when Ana moved she fucking hit her again and nearly ran over an older gentleman who wanted to help Ana too. She wanted her dead and she will fucking pay for it!

"Can we please go upstairs and call your Dad? I really don't want Elena's lawyer to show up again. I just want a few more quiet weeks before I have to face her in court… I can't deal with being reminded of her all the time." She says sounding really upset.

"Yes, I'll call him and ask him to stop by… but Ana in the meantime I want you to call Autumn and talk to her. I know you like to put on a brave face, but it's not a shame to talk to a shrink and especially with Autumn it has helped me a great deal, so maybe it will help you too."

"Yes, I guess that's a good idea… I just… she scares me and I'm afraid that she will somehow manage to weasel her way out of this and then she is free and can come after me again… after Liam." She whispers and I hold her tight.

"Nothing is going to happen to either of you. I won't let that happen and there is no way in hell, that she will get away with what she has done. Now let's get you upstairs, I'm sure your Mom can make some tea for you and you can just relax and talk to Autumn for a while."

Once Ana is sitting in her living room with her mother and has Autumn on the phone, I excuse myself and find Taylor waiting outside the apartment for me with my overnight bag.

"Thanks Taylor, have you asked the fucker why Elena has send him?"

"Yes, Sir. Apparently, the old bitch wants to apologize to Miss Steele and wants her to visit her in jail… if you ask me, it's all part of her plan, trying to make it seem like she feels remorse so she will get away with a lower sentence."

"Fuck, the bitch is delusional. Have you told the bastard to stay away from, Ana?"

"I sure did, Sir. I highly doubt that he will ever even do so much as look at her. The guy is barely out of college, thought a case like that would guarantee him a big career. Kid doesn't have a clue." He says disgusted.

"Make sure he doesn't come anywhere near Ana or my family." I mutter and call my Dad. I know he has friends in all the right places, so after talking to him and him making some phone calls I receive a text with a phone number from him and step back into the apartment where I sit down in Ana's room after telling her that I have an important phone call to make.

I dial the number and wait until the call is answered.

"Christian… oh darling, I'm so glad you've found a way to call me… it's horrible in here… please help me…"

"Shut the fuck up! Now you listen to me you disgusting bitch. You will never and I mean never ever try to contact Anastasia again. I don't care if it's through your lawyer, with a phone call, letter, e-mail or text…you try anything I will make sure that your life in prison will turn a hundred times worse. Understand?"

"But… but you can't do that. I was trying to help you; can't you see how she is manipulating you?"

"Oh please; you haven't helped me, all you ever did was manipulating me and Ana was a threat to you, because she was changing me, she showed me that there is more waiting for me. That I have a heart, that my family loves me and more so, that I am worthy of it! You've never done that, all you've ever done was filling my head with lies, so I would have no one to turn to but you. Guess what, I'm happy now, I'm with the woman I love and soon I am going to be father and you no longer have any hold over me. So this is what is going to happen. You will never contact us again, you will sit through your trial and spend the rest of your pathetic existence in prison, because that is where you belong."

"No! No, you can't do that. I helped you, I gave you the money to start your company, I…"

"Yes, you gave me that money and the audit I had done at your salons showed me that you have stolen more than 20 times of what you have given me in return, so do not even go there or I will let the D.A. have a look at the results of the audit. You are done, Elena. All of your lies and secrets have been exposed. It's over, now to use the words of a true lady, you need to show some dignity, own up to your wrong doings and face what's coming to you." I hiss and with that I hang up and send my Dad a text to let him know that I have called her.

I really fucking hope that this will be the last time I had to deal with her, but seeing Ana upset because of Elena made me so mad, I just I had to tell her myself that this has to stop. She cannot interfere with my life or the life of my loved ones anymore.

After taking a moment to compose myself, I get back to Ana, who has ended the call with Autumn and is now in the kitchen with her mother.

"Do you feel better?" I ask her when I step next to her.

"Yes, Autumn and I have agreed that until the trial is over, we will talk once a week. I just need to get it together." She says a little apologetic and I kiss her.

"Christian, do you like creole food? I found a new recipe." Carla says and I nod. Really, I couldn't care less about food right now, though I don't want to offend Ana's mom by not eating anything and actually, when we sit at the table and eat, the food is so good that I even manage a second helping before I'm so full that I can barely move.

Ana and I decide to watch a movie before we go to bed and I have to smile when about thirty minutes into the movie Ana is fast asleep.

Since it has been a long day, I decide to let her sleep, so I carry her into the bedroom, undress her and myself and get into bed with her.

It is still dark outside when I hear a soft knock on the bedroom door and glance at Ana's alarm. It's just after midnight, maybe Carla needs something. I get up, put my boxers back on and walk to the door to find Carla in her robe.

"I'm sorry darling, I know you two have been sleeping, but your parents are here. Get Ana and come to the living room, something happened." She says and I feel sick, fuck my parents came here at this hour… it has to be something bad.

I get dressed quickly and lean over Ana. "Baby, wake up."

"Is the movie over?" She mumbles into her pillow.

"Yes, something happened, my parents are here to see us, please get up." I whisper into her ear and she sits up straight.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, please get dressed." I murmur and watch as she puts some yoga pants and a hoodie on before we leave the bedroom and find my parents with Taylor and Carla in the living room.

"Mom, Dad what is going on?" I ask and my Dad steps forward.

"Turn the TV on, son." He says and switch it on to a local station were the breaking news are running."

 _Ladies and Gentlemen, the local police has just released a statement that local socialite and salon owner Elena Lincoln has indeed committed suicide by hanging herself in her prison cell. Lincoln, a fifty-six-year-old Seattle native has been under arrest since last August and was awaiting her trial where she was facing charges for attempt murder amongst other things. Lincoln ran over Anastasia Steele, a twenty-two-year college graduate, and nearly killed the young woman. Miss Steele has since been confirmed to be pregnant with the child of Seattle's well-known billionaire Christian Grey. The couple has been seen out in public quite a few times within the last few weeks and it is rumored that Elena Lincoln tried to murder the young woman out of jealousy. Grey and Lincoln have known each other for years and have been in business together, as he was or is a silent partner in her salon business, the high scale Esclava chain. So far there has been no statement from the Grey camp, but we are sure that highly private young billionaire is happy that with the death of Elena Lincoln there will no public trial against her. This is Lisa Montgomery with the late night news on KCPQ._

I stare at my parents, needing a moment to understand what this means. She is dead, there will be no trial, no chance for her to make what she has done to me public knowledge, no chance for her to make us all miserable… it's over and I'm happy.

"Christian, are you okay?" Ana asks clearly worried because I haven't said a word so far.

"Yes… I'm relieved, it's over, baby. She is gone." I smile and hug Ana.

"Does it make me a terrible person that I am happy that she is gone?" Ana asks and I want to answer, but my Mom beats me to it.

"No it doesn't and now Carla dear, do you have some glasses?" She asks and pulls a bottle of champagne from her purse.

"Mom?!" I utter and she looks at me.

"Christian, that horrible woman seduced and abused my son, nearly murdered my future daughter in law and my unborn grandchild and she pretended to be me friend when all she wanted was to use me to get to one of my children. Call me crazy, but knowing that by now she is burning in the seventh circle of hell makes me happy. Carry, please open the bottle." My mom says and even though it is a bit crazy soon we are all clinking glasses, celebrating the death of the wicked witch of Seattle… may she burn in fucking hell!


	23. Chapter 23

_**Christian**_

Today is the day, finally! There have been a few issue and I had to pay some extra cash, so Elliot could hire more crew members to work solely on the house and get it ready, but now it's all done and we can finally move in.

I have to say, I had no idea how much needed to be done before the move could even take place, but Ana made sure that on our moving day everything would be perfect. We went shopping for everything from glassware up to bedding and bathroom accessories. To be honest, I didn't even think about stuff like that and would have just hired someone to do all that shit for me, but Ana informed me that if we wanted it to be our home, we would have to pick things ourselves.

In the end it was a lot of fun and it started to feel like the house became more and more our home with every article we got and put in its place. Now, we just have to move in. I had the security guys pack everything at Escala up yesterday and it's already at the house, so today, we just have to move Ana's belonging to the house and then it's done, we will be officially living together.

Well, that is if my very pregnant girlfriend isn't going to give me a heart attack by trying to lift things way too heavy for her. Honestly, I may need to tie her down, because she is way too active for my liking. On one hand I'm glad that she is feeling so good, but then the anxious part of me wants her to just sit on the couch all day and let everyone else cater to her needs, just so nothing can happen to either her or our son.

Liam… we have done every test Dr. Greene recommended to us, to find out if everything is alright with him and so far, it all looks good, there is no indication that he will be born as anything else than a healthy baby. Still, we know that there are things like problems with his vision or hearing that can't be tested until he is born, but these are also things we can fix with glasses, a hearing aid or surgery of some kind, so it's not as scary to me as a heart condition or deformation or even under development of his brain, which have all been possibilities we had to discuss.

Things have really calmed down since Elena took her own life. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could finally relax completely, because the threat of my former lifestyle and what Elena has done to me being exposed is gone. Two days after she committed suicide, I decided Ana and I needed a break, just a few days where it is just us and I, so I just asked her if there was any place in the world she would like to go. I was fully expecting her to say London, but she surprised me when she told me she wanted to go somewhere remote, where it would be just us. We looked up a few places online and in the end choose to rent a private island where we could lay around at the beach all day, be lazy and just relax for a few days.

That was the first time since I was kid that I had a normal vacation and I have to say, I really enjoyed doing nothing for a change. In addition, it gave Ana and I a lot of time to talk, learn more about each other and just spend more time together without any interruptions. Ana even convinced me to try paragliding, which was offered on the main island and it's something I want to do again as soon as I get the chance.

While I was paragliding, Ana went to a bazaar style market with Sawyer and bought a lot of wooden toys that the locals are crafting and selling to the tourists. She got a little train set, a few toy cars and even a little plane, which have already found their new home on one of the shelves in Liam's nursery.

And then Christmas came along and I have learned for a fact that the holiday season can indeed be the best season of the year. Ever since I have first started GEH I never went home to celebrate Christmas or any other holiday with my family. Most of the time I was working or beating a sub into submission, not even caring about Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years. This time however, Ana wouldn't even let me anywhere near my laptop. Instead she got me into the holiday spirit with all of her decorating, baking and over all excitement about the holiday season.

Where I would usually let Andrea or Gail by gifts for my family, I had to do it myself this year and I have to admit that gift shopping wasn't as bad as I thought. Ana and I went to New York over the weekend and had a really good time picking gifts for our families and friends. Kate told me that Ana always wanted to see a Broadway Musical, so I got us tickets and enjoyed watching Ana watching the show. She was so excited when I showed her the tickets she started to cry and we barely even made it in time to see the show, because right after the crying, she started to kiss me and that of course led to us fucking, so we had to hurry to make it in time.

We spent Christmas Eve with her parents at her Dad's house in Montesano and while I haven't told Ana, so she doesn't get her hopes up too high, I am convinced that her parents are slowly but surely getting back together. Of course, Ray laid into me for still not having proposed to his daughter, but this time I could actually win points with him, when I told him that I have a ring for her and was just waiting for the right moment. Ana has no idea, but tonight I am going to propose to her. I wanted to propose on a number of occasions, but it never seemed to be the right moment. So tonight, on our first night in our new home, I want to ask her to be my wife.

I'm not sure she wants to get married before Liam is born, but I would love for her to be my wife before our son is born. Maybe we can have a small courthouse wedding now and a big fest in the summer or maybe we can even manage to have a big wedding before the birth… though I leave that choice up to her. All I need is a time and date and I'm ready, but I know that for a woman a wedding is a huge deal, so I will let Ana decide what she wants.

"Christian?" I hear Ana call out and stop stuffing her books into moving crates. She is in her living room getting the stuff she wants to take with her together, while I'm packing up the last few things in her room. When I find her, she is staring at a huge potted plant like she is trying to make an attack plan.

"You want to take that huge thing with you?" I ask and wrap my arms around her middle, where I can feel our son moving.

"I guess we won't have a choice. My mother loves to have plants, but where others have a green thumb and can make anything grow, she has brown thumb… I swear she can even kill a cactus."

"I've heard that, Ana… but much to my dismay, I have to agree." Carla says who just stepped into the apartment carrying a box.

"What's that, Mom?"

"It's for you. Ray sent it over. When you were little we kept some keep sakes to give you once you are all grown up and ready to start your own family." She says and places the box on the coffee table.

We all sit down and I watch Ana open it. On top is a white, very soft looking blanket with the letter A and a pink rose embroidered on one corner.

"Oh Mom, that's my blanket. The one Grandma Lambert made for me, right?" She says and Carla nods.

"Yes, we kept it for you to give to your baby one day, but you should look at the other things too." Carla says and next Ana's retrieves some ugly looking, unidentifiable stuffed animal that makes her clap her hands in excitement.

"Oh my gosh, it's Pebbles, my first stuffed animal, look Christian, isn't he cute, we can give him to Liam." She says and I smile, though I make a mental note not to let that thing anywhere near my son, it looks creepy and reminds me off road kill on the highway after laying a full week in the sun.

She puts it to the side and takes some Christmas ornaments out that look handmade and it turns out Ana actually made them herself as a kid, I will say they look way better than the ones my Mom has from Elliot and I, but my girl still is no artist by any means.

Ana retrieves some more things until she finds an envelope and blushes, while Carla has the biggest most infectious grin on her face.

"You kept that letter? Mom!" Ana whines and Carla giggles.

"Of course, I did, now hand it to Christian." She says and I frown, so Carla jumps in.

"Ana had a hard time in school when she was about nine or ten, some of the boys were really mean to her and she didn't have friends, so I told her that one day she would find someone who would see how special she is right away and that she should write him a letter. It was just a sweet little thing my mother made me do when I was a child, so I thought it would be nice for Ana to do the same." She says and I look at Ana.

"Can I have my letter, baby?"

"Fine." She pouts and hands it to me, while glaring at her mom.

 _Dear …_

 _My mommy made me write this letter, I don't even know why, because I know there will never be anyone who likes me, so no one is ever going to read it anyway… just… if you are out there, do you think you can find me before I turn into an old cat lady that freaks kids out at Halloween? Because, that's how I will end up… or at least that is what the kids in my school say… oh and maybe you can also tell me why boys are so stupid? I mean, not all boys, my Daddy isn't like that… he is great… I hope if you exist, you are a lot like my Daddy and make me feel safe, just like he does._

 _But just so you know, I will never kiss a boy, because that's gross and my Daddy says I get cooties if I ever kiss a boy and that's gross too. Maybe we can read books together, I like them, whenever I'm sad or hear the other kids play outside and they don't allow me to play with them, I read a book and it's like I'm part of the story. I hope you like to read too, it's fun… even if all the other kids think it's boring._

 _We can be best friends… though I have to warn you, all the other kids think I'm boring and a nerd, I don't even know what that is… but mommy says they are just being mean to make them feel better… that's stupid, but maybe it's true._

 _If you are out there, I hope you like to eat ice cream at midnight and hot chocolate in the middle of summer… because if you do we can share… maybe we can sleep outside together and have smores…_

 _And if you are out there somewhere just know that I'm waiting for you… because if it's true and there is someone out there who I'm going to spend my life with then I'll know when I see you…_

 _Ana_

I look at Ana and she is so embarrassed, but I can't help but smile and suddenly, I know this is the right moment, I had everything planned out for later tonight, hearts and flowers… but in this moment, I can't stop myself.

"Look at me, baby." I say gently and take her hand in mine and when she does look at me I get of the sofa and get to my knees in front of her.

"Ana, you are the most wonderful person I have ever met, you make me feel alive, showed me that I can be happy, that I have a heart and that I can love and be loved in return… I want to have ice cream with you at midnight and hot chocolate in the summertime… I want to spend the rest of my life with you… Anastasia Rose Steele, will you marry me?" I ask and watch as she takes a moment to realize what is happening, next tears start to fall from her eyes and she nods, before she hugs me tightly.

"Was that a yes?" I ask.

"Yes, of course I want to marry you, I love you so much!"

"I love you too, baby… and I'm glad you have changed your mind about kissing." I whisper against her lips and kiss her, but we both stop when we hear someone blow his nose rather loudly and turn around to find Carla a sobbing mess.

"Sorry… I'm just so happy for both you… I leave you here for a moment." She says we both have to laugh when we hear her calling who I assume is Ray, screaming that their baby just got engaged and that reminds me.

"This is for you." I say and get the small velvet box from my pants pocket to show her, her engagement ring. I wanted to buy a new one, but when I told my mother that I wanted to propose she gave me her grandmother's engagement ring. It's beautiful, white gold with a diamond circled by sapphires just that almost exactly match Ana's eyes. I wanted a huge rock for Ana… but I knew it wasn't what she would pick for herself and this ring is elegant and simple, something she can wear every day for the rest of her life.

"Oh my god, it's beautiful."

"It belonged to my great-grandmother. Grace gave it to me when I told her I wanted to propose… if you don't like it, we can buy you a different ring."

"No, it's perfect… can I ask you something… well it's more of a wish."

"Whatever you want, baby." I reply and Ana smiles.

"I want us to get married before Liam is born… do you think we can get a wedding together in two months?" She asks and I know I'm grinning like an idiot, but this is exactly what I wanted.

"Baby, I'm going to make every single wish you have come true and since this is mine too, we are going to make it happen." I reply and kiss her again. God, I love her so much and soon this wonderful creature is going to be my wife… mine, forever!


	24. Chapter 24

_**Hi guys, I know it's been quite a while and I'm really sorry for not posting for so long. Long story short, I broke my wrist back in September and once I got the cast removed I couldn't get into writing again… but since I hate to leave something unfinished, here is the last chapter of The Beginning in the End. I will post the Epilog tomorrow.**_

 _ **For those of you who are waiting for updates on Seduction and Broken, please give me a few more weeks to write the remaining chapters for both stories. Once I have them all written, you'll get daily updates on both stories.**_

 _ **Thank you all for your messages, I haven't really been on FanFiction in the last couple of months, so if I haven't replied, I'm sorry and I will try to get through all my PM's as soon as possible.**_

 _ **Sunny xxx**_

 _ **Ana**_

Today is the day, all of our family and friends will be here to witness Christian and I getting married outside in the meadow. It took us seven weeks to get everything in order. My mom, Grace, Mia and Kate all helped to make this our dream wedding. We still have two weeks until I'm due to give birth to Liam and today is a beautiful warm April morning. I just hope the weather remains as good as it is now. We have a tent ready to set up in case it starts to rain, but I hope we won't need it.

"Breakfast for the bride!" I hear Kate call out before she and Mia come into bedroom. Mia, Kate, Claire, Autumn, my Mom and Grace all stayed here at the house with me last night, while Christian and all the guys stayed at his parents' home in Bellevue.

"Morning." I reply with a smile and manage to pull myself up in bed so I'm in a sitting position. The only thing I don't like about being pregnant is that now, that my belly has gotten enormous, I can barely get up on my own. Most of the time Christian has to help me out of bed and I even had to ask Sawyer and Gail to help me up, when I couldn't manage to get up from the sofa downstairs on a number of occasions. Still, I love being pregnant and I know I will miss this feeling once Liam is born, but Christian and I already agreed that we want to have another baby once he has turned two, so our kids will be close in age.

"How are you feeling, are you nervous?" Kate asks.

"I'm feeling great… and no, I'm not nervous, I'm going to marry the man of my dreams today, if anything I'm really excited. Have you heard from Christian?"

"Yes, all the guys will be here in about an hour to work out and then get ready, don't worry I have told Christian I would kick him in the balls if he dared to sneak in here to see you before the wedding." Kate says making me giggle. Christian was pouting all day yesterday because he was told he couldn't stay here the day before our wedding, but I wanted to keep this tradition, so begrudgingly he agreed to stay at his parents' house.

After breakfast Kate and Mia help me out of bed and I get into the bathroom and take a shower. Once I'm done I wrap myself into a towel and head to the sink to brush my teeth. I have just finished rinsing when two things happen at the same time. First I feel the most crucial pain shoot through my body, so I have to hold on to the sink, so I won't fall and at the same I feel a gush of water running down my legs, forming a puddle at my feet. But what is even worse is that I can feel Liam drop inside me, so much so, that I can feel his head coming.

"KATE!" I scream and suddenly all the women burst into the bathroom.

"What? What is happening?" Kate asks and I have to hold on to the sink again.

"He's coming." I get out between gritted teeth and suddenly all the women jump into motion.

Mia yells that she is going to get Christian, Autumn is running around getting towels, Kate is on her phone calling an ambulance and my mom and Grace have somehow managed to put me back into bed without my feet even touching the ground.

"Grace, what is happening… oh my god it hurts." I cry out while Grace is pushing the towel up and checks on me.

"Oh dear, looks like little Liam wants to be here for the wedding too, he is almost crowning." She says just when I have another contraction and Christian bursts into the room.

"What is happening… Mom… talk to me." He says and pulls at his hair with both hands, while I'm trying to somehow breathe through the pain.

"The baby is coming now… Ana with the next contraction I need you to give me a good hard push, I'll count to ten then you stop, ok sweetheart?" She says and I just nod too overwhelmed to say anything. Christian is by my side holding my left hand while my mother is holding my right and I squeeze both their hands hard when Grace gives me the go to push.

Oh my god, this hurts even more, but I continue for three more rounds and suddenly Grace places Liam on my chest, he is covered in blood and white mush, but he is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. When our eyes meet, he stops to cry and just looks at me with curious, huge blue eyes. He is so beautiful that I can't help but cry happy tears. He is really here, after everything that happened when I was pregnant with him, he is really here with us.

"Thank you, baby… oh my god, he is perfect, right?" Christian whispers in awe as he gently strokes our son's cheeks with his pinky finger.

"He is." I whisper and look around. Grace has covered me with a blanket and I see all of our family in the room with us. Elliot and Kate are holding each other smiling at Liam, Mia is standing with her parents crying happy tears and my Dad has my Mother in his arms and they are both also crying happy tears. This is the perfect moment. We are one big family now and all because of this beautiful little baby in my arms.

 _ **6 weeks later**_

"You are not going to crash mommy's and daddy's wedding again aren't you, sweet boy?" I ask my baby boy when I put him in his adorable little tux that matches Christian's, who had it made by his tailor so he and Liam would match today.

Right after giving birth to my little darling I thought we could still get married in the afternoon. Sadly, while Liam came out quick and without any issues, the placenta was a different story. Dr. Greene already told me that if the third try wasn't working, I would need surgery, which freaked both Christian and me out. Thankfully I managed to push it out in the end, but lost a little too much blood and needed a transfusion. To my surprise Christian insisted that he would donate the blood for me instead of me getting a random blood bag. I didn't even know that we had the same blood type, but it didn't surprise me that he knows stuff like that.

In the end I had to stay two nights at the hospital and Christian and I decided to post pone our wedding for six weeks. This way we can have our wedding night and take Liam with us on our honeymoon. We are going to the Caribbean and Grace told us that it would be okay to take Liam on a plane ride. Of course everyone offered to take him so we could go on our honeymoon just the two of us, but Liam is just six weeks old and both Christian and I are not ready to leave him overnight with someone else… let alone two weeks.

Three days ago Grace insisted to take him for the evening, so Christian and I could spend some time alone and go on a date. To say by the time, the evening came around we were both already exhausted would have been an understatement. Liam is the cutest baby during the day, but once it gets dark he turns into a little demon and is up all night. We both try to nap during the day, but even after six weeks, I haven't gotten used to the lack of sleep. So, when Grace came to pick him up for a few hours Christian and I both got upstairs to get ready for our date and we both rummaged around our closet like zombies until I had enough and asked if we could just stay home, order a pizza and take a nap. Christian gave me a huge relieved smile, we both threw on sweatpants and a t-shirt and before the pizza even arrived we were both sleeping cuddled up on the couch. I don't know if other new parents would agree, but to us it was the best post-baby date ever.

"Ana can I come in?" I hear my Mom call out from outside the bedroom.

"Come in." I call out trying to be not too loud so I want startle my little sweetheart.

"Aw… he is as cute as a button." My mom says and takes him from me.

"He is, right? Sometimes when I look at him I still can't believe that he is really my son… that Christian and I have created something as perfect as him." I muse and softly stroke his mop of copper colored hair.

"You have always given yourself way too little credit, Ana. You are a very beautiful girl, so of course your son is adorable." My mom says and I just smile, I guess I'm not ugly or anything, but for some reason, even if everyone keeps telling me how gorgeous I am, it just feels weird and a bit conceived to say that I am beautiful if I say it myself.

"So, do you want me to take Liam downstairs with me? Mia and Kate will be up any minute to help you get ready." My mom says and I nod. I have to say, I'm a bit nervous about putting my dress on. Since the dress I originally had picked was made to fit me while I was nine months pregnant, I couldn't wear it now that I had Liam. So, I had to get a new dress and picked it even though I didn't fit into it at the time. Now, four weeks after I got it, I have dropped some more of the baby weight, but I'm still not back to my pre-pregnancy weight. If the dress doesn't fit, I think I'm going to have a full blown panic attack.

I'm not fat by any means, but my belly is still really soft and I have a visible pouch, which I want to get rid of and Christian loves… did I mention that I'm going to marry a weirdo?

He has been pouting when I started to work out to get back into shape, because apparently, he likes me with a little bit more meat on my bones. It's not like I want to be super skinny again and I don't even want to drop all the baby weight, but I just want my belly to be a bit firmer than it is right now. What I really love are my boobs, because for the first time ever, I have some really nice boobs and I hope they won't go back to the way they were before, but if they do I guess I can at least look forward to having them bigger again once Christian and I have another child.

A little later my Mom has taken Liam downstairs and Mia and Kate are there to help me put my dress on.

"Please tell me you can get it to close in the back?" I murmur, horrified by the thought that stupid me might have bought a dress thinking that I would fit in today only to find out that I don't.

"Yes, but damn Steele, you are sweating, want to take another shower first?" Kate laughs and I give her the stink eye over my shoulder.

"Just saying and you could have avoided that little panic attack had you just tried it on a few days ago." She says and I pout.

"I was afraid it wouldn't fit."

"And you think Christian would allow for you to be without the most stunning dress today?" She says and I frown.

"He called the designer and had him sent two more versions of your dress. One in case this one is too small and one in case your 'I need to lose the baby weight' obsession would have gotten out of hand and this one is too big." She explains and I smile… _I really do get the perfect husband… who would have thought that the same guy who once upon time told me he doesn't do love would turn out like this._

"You are grinning like a loon." Mia giggles.

"I'm happy, I mean life doesn't get any more perfect than it already is right now. I have amazing parents, great friends, an adorable son and today I'm going to marry the love of my life… I guess I'm just blissfully happy." I reply and it is true, I have never been happier in my life and when I think about the future I know that it is going to just as happy as this day will be.

 _ **Christian**_

"What do you think, bro? Will you make it to the altar this time?" Elliot says with a smirk and I flip him off. He thinks he is hilarious, but I don't see anything even remotely funny in the fact that something could happen that would prevent my wedding.

I have to say though, Liam's birth literally crashing the wedding will be one of the best memories ever. Damn, I can't believe the little guy has been with us for six weeks now. Honestly, I can't even imagine how life would be without him now, but maybe that's just my sleep deluded mind fucking with me.

Ana thinks he might be scared of the dark, but I believe he is just bored at night because he naps all through the day. Still, I'm not pissed when he wakes us for the fifth or even tenth time during the night, because holding my son has become one of my favorite things to do. If I'm not holding him, I'm watching him and it's fascinating. He makes the funniest faces and I swear he has smiled at me a number of times.

The one thing I hate is changing him. Not that I'm a pussy, but my son is on a mission to piss in my face at any given chance. I had pee in my eyes, nose and mouth… I'm pretty sure it's his favorite thing to do, but Ana says it's just bad luck. Sure, she can say that because he hasn't peed in her face so far. No, he saves all his pee for when it's my turn to change him, just so he can create an arch that will easily hit my face.

One time Ana even managed to film it happen with her phone and watching it later on made me laugh too… still, I hope I can master a diaper changing technique that will make it impossible for him to pee in my face soon.

"Look who came to say hi to his Daddy." Carla says as she steps into the room with Liam in her arms and I walk over to her to take him from her. Damn, he looks cute as hell in his little tux and it thrills me to see how much he already looks like me. I'm sure when he is grown up, he will look just like me but with Ana's eyes.

"Hey buddy, did you miss me… I hope you let mommy sleep at least a few hours last night." I say as I kiss his chubby face.

"Is everything ok with Ana?" I ask Carla next and she gives me a warm smile.

"She is getting ready, everything is fine… no interruptions this time." She says with a small laugh.

"I would hope so, though I'm sure Seattle's soup kitchens would be delighted to receive such a feast again." I murmur, remembering how Taylor and the rest of the security had to drive the entire wedding food and the cake to different soup kitchens, because I couldn't stand the thought of all the food going to waste.

"That was very thoughtful of you." Carla says.

"I guess… are you going to look after him until the ceremony is over?"

"Yes… well, Grace will help of course, we are both a little sad that we won't see the little guy for six weeks."

She is right, my mother offered to take him while Ana and I are on honeymoon at least twice a day since we told her we would take him with us… but there is no way I'm going to leave my son anywhere for six weeks, when I even hate the thought of leaving him for a few hours to work. Eventually, we will let him stay with his grandparents or other family members, but that time isn't now.

An hour later I find myself at the altar waiting for Ana. It's so alien for me to think about the guy I was before she left me. I was miserable always thinking that I don't deserve happiness, desperately trying to fill the void in my life with expensive cars, boats… subs who allowed me to exercise control over them and working until I couldn't keep my eyes open. And even when Ana emerged in my life, I was too afraid to confess to myself that she was the what I had been looking for my entire life, so I tried to mold her into something she was not and nearly lost her because of it. Losing her was what finally opened my eyes and now I can honestly say that the day she walked out of life wasn't the end of our relationship, it was the beginning.

As the music starts I look up and see Ana with Ray at the end of the isle and the moment our eyes meet she gives me the most beautiful smile. This is what I have been looking for all of my life… this woman who loves me despite all my flaws and whom I love with all of the heart I never thought I had… and today is just the beginning of our life together and so many more memorable moments to come…

THE END


	25. Chapter 25

Christian – 27 years later

"Wow… I had no idea… wait I really crashed your first attempt to marry, Mom?" Liam asks with a smirk. We have been sitting in my study for almost six hours now and I have done something, I never thought I would, but I don't want him to repeat my mistakes.

He has been casually dating the same girl for a few months now. She is a nice girl, called Lisa, whom he met at his sister's 21st birthday party. Literally everyone in the room could see how from the first time he laid eyes on her, he fell head over heels in love with her. Yet, the only one who didn't see it was he himself.

He asked her out and from what we know they have seen each other quite a lot over the last five months. He even brought her over as his date for the Coping Together Gala. Still, he introduced her to everyone as his friend, not his girlfriend. Even I could tell that Lisa was really upset about that, especially because while he had officially friend-zoned her, he still would touch and kiss her at any given chance.

That resulted in not just all three of his sister, but also Ana, both his grandmothers and aunts giving him nasty looks all evening. Ana wanted to talk to him, but I stopped her knowing that Liam wouldn't appreciate it and they would probably lock horns, which in result would make Ana upset and then I would have had to let him have it.

So, instead I let it go until this afternoon. We had a family BBQ and he brought Lisa with him. A little later we were all sitting together when he, his brother and all three of his cousins started to talk about some chick they had met at a bar the other night and he said he was really tempted to tap that ass, while Lisa was sitting next to him. I wanted to smack him across the head, but Lisa beat me to it when she got up, emptied her soda over his head and left visibly upset, while my son sat there like he had no idea what just happened.

Ana was fuming and told him in no uncertain words either to leave the poor girl alone and finally admit that he had feelings for her, before she got up and went after her. I decided it was time to pull him aside and have a conversation with him. I just don't get it, he has little hearts in his eyes whenever he looks at her and she is a nice girl who obviously adores him… still he treats her so poorly most of the time.

We sat down in my office and I had to smile at my son, who was giving me the same stubborn expression he would always give me throughout his childhood and teen years, when he knew he did something wrong and wasn't willing to confess it. So, after him stubbornly trying to ignore me for almost thirty minutes, I decided to share my story with him. Because maybe hearing how I almost lost his mother because I wasn't willing to see how much I love her will help him figure out if he wants to be with Lisa or let her go.

"You sure did… but this is not what this is about. It's about you and why you are treating a girl you obviously like, like trash."

"I am not, Dad… it's just… look do you remember Megan?" He asks and I sigh. Megan was a girl he dated about three years ago and she was a whore. I hate calling a woman a whore, but there is no nicer way of saying it. She was a whore and she was playing him like a fiddle. It drove me nuts that he was the only one who didn't see that she was playing him, but he was so head over heels in love with her that at one point he punched his brother in the face after Mason told him that Megan was bad news and he should get rid of her. I was so fucking pissed at Liam at that point, I wanted to punch him myself, but instead grabbed him by the neck and told him to leave my house and not to return until he would finally see that his entire family was just trying to protect him from getting hurt or taken advantage of.

"Yes, of course, what about her?"

"After everything that happened with her, I made a vow to myself that I would never allow a woman into my life… well not enough to hurt me and now with Lisa… fuck Dad, she perfect… I mean she is smart, funny, kind, caring… the list goes on and she is so much fun to have around. Fuck, a few days ago she came to my place and I had planned to fuck her all night… instead we just talked… it was great we just talked and talked and suddenly we both realized that it was already the next morning… she is so supportive too, you know how usually girls get clingy or pissed when I don't call every day or have to cancel a date because of work… Lisa is different, she doesn't get pissed, maybe a little upset, but I get that and it doesn't piss me off. Fuck, she even talked me into going on a business trip I didn't want to go to because her birthday was coming up that same weekend… but I'm scared." He confesses gets up and pours himself a drink.

"Why?"

"Well, what if I let her in and everything turns to shit… what if she turns out like her?"

"Liam, I highly doubt that. Megan was a spoiled little bitch who basically was just looking for guy who would spoil her as much as her parents did. She saw you and had dollar signs in her eyes… that is lightyears away from the girl who is probably crying her eyes out right now because you are punishing her for someone else's mistake. I understand if you are not ready to commit or if you don't feel serious about her… but what you are doing is not fair to her and you can be damn lucky that I was the one pulling you aside and not your mom, because she would have ripped you a new one. Bottom-line is, you have to make up your mind, either turn this into a serious relationship and or let her go, but don't give her hope whenever no one is watching only to friendzone her when someone else is around."

"I'm not treating her like that when someone is around!" He says pissed and I roll my eyes… hell, I was a dick in my time, but at least I knew it, he is completely oblivious.

"Really, let's say one of your sisters would bring a guy home, shove his tongue down her throat at any given chance and then proceed to tell you he met a chick last night and really wanted to tap that ass." I say and raise an eyebrow.

"I would fucking kill that piece of shit."

"Well then, why do you think it is right to act that way towards the girl you are dating?" I ask and he sighs.

"Shit… I don't know… sometimes it's like I want to test her… see if she is going to show any sign that she isn't what she is pretending to be… I don't know… damn, I'm so fucked up."

"No, you are not, you are just insecure when it comes to relationships and I get that, but you have to make a decision now, Liam. Maybe it's just not the right time for Lisa and you."

He looks at me for a moment and then says what everyone who has ever seen them together already knows.

"But I can't let her go, Dad… she makes me happy."

"Then you need to make sure to make her happy too. No one wants you to propose right away… just treat her the right way and show some appreciation for the way she makes you feel. It took me nearly losing your mother to finally understand what she means to me, don't make that mistake too."

"I won't thanks, Dad… I should probably go and find Lisa. I need to apologize to her." He says and leaves my study, while I stay behind and count to ten… just when I have reached ten Ana steps into my study, just like I thought she would.

"I love all of our children with all of my heart, but dear god do I want to slap some sense into Liam." She says making me laugh.

"I figured that much, have you talked to Lisa?"

"I've tried, but she just wanted to leave. I can understand her though, I would have felt so humiliated… I hope he does the right thing." She sighs and sits on my lap.

"He'll come around, he knows she is the one, he is just not ready to say it out loud, but he is not going to lose her over his insecurities."

"I do hope so, she is such a nice girl, she is just what he needs. Oh… and since we are already on the topic, Sienna wants to go on a date next Friday." Ana says and I feel my body tense. Sienna is our youngest daughter, she has just turned sixteen and I am not ready for her to start dating. I've been through this with her older sister's Alissa and Michelle and I had high hopes that at least my little angel wasn't going to date until she goes to college.

"Ana…" I whine and she kisses me.

"I know you hate that Sienna is growing up, but she actually wants to have her date here." She says and I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes, she told me she wants the boy… his name is Noah, to come over here, they want to cook together and watch a movie. I told her we could give her money to go to a restaurant if he couldn't afford it, but apparently, they both enjoy to cook and wanted to cook together." She explains and I sigh.

Dating… Christ, I could write a book about all the shit that went down in this house when my girls started to date. I will never forget how one day I was monitoring Michelle's social media account and she had posted something that sounded like a fucking suicide note.

I fucking lost it, cancelled a meeting that had cost me weeks to schedule and drove to her school like a man possessed. I ran into the school and into her class room, ignoring the angry security guy and teacher who just about cussed me out when I took Michelle out of class. Not to mention my whining teenager daughter who was about to die of embarrassment due to the scene I was creating in front of her friends.

Ignoring everything I got my moping and possibly suicidal daughter into the car, called Ana to come home immediately and then proceeded to call Autumn for an emergency skype session as soon as I was home. What followed went down a little something like this…

" _Mom, do something, Dad has lost his mind, he stormed into my class and took me home. I can never go back to school… oh my God, I'm so mortified…" Michelle whined as soon as Ana came into the house._

" _What, why would you do that, Christian?" Ana asked and I handed her my phone so she could read our daughter's last message on her social media page._

" _Wait… isn't that from a song, Michelle?" She asked our pouting daughter and I just stared at them… a song?_

" _Yes, it's from my favorite band… it's called "Eternity with you". Wait… you got me out of class because I posted my favorite lyrics online?" Michelle asked me and to say that I felt like a lunatic idiot in that moment would have been an understatement._

" _Christian?! What is going on, why did you take her out of school?" Ana asked with a look on her face she would otherwise only use on our kids when they were trying to get out of trouble._

" _Mistake on my part." I muttered and Ana turned to face our pouting child._

" _Sweetheart, please go to your room, I need to talk to your Dad." Ana said and Michelle quickly left the room._

" _Care to explain your mistake?" She asked and I could tell that she was anything but amused._

" _I thought our daughter left a suicide note on social media… who could have guessed it's nothing but song lyrics." I confessed._

" _Oh, I don't know… maybe the same father who two nights ago threatened his daughter to take her computer away if she wouldn't stop playing the same song on repeat… which incidentally is the same song she posted online."_

" _Well fuck, you know I don't listen to shit like that… and why is she posting shit like that anyway?"_

" _She has a crush on a boy and he isn't into her." Ana sighed._

" _What? Who is that little asshole, I will…."_

" _You will do what, make him date her?" Ana asked with one raised brow._

" _No… I… but how dare he reject my daughter!"_

" _Ok, I have to get back to work, since you already skyped Autumn, why don't you talk to her." Ana suggested with a smirk and then kissed me._

" _You are the most caring father in the world, Christian Grey… but please, the next time you believe on of our children posted a suicide note online… call me first." She said before she went upstairs to talk to our daughter._

"So, are you ok with Sienna having the boy over for the evening?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Well, you can say no, but I don't think that would stop Sienna from ever starting to date and at least here you can see what they are doing."

"Why couldn't our kids stay little? Let's have a baby!"

"Oh no… we are not going back to the start… do you hear me, Christian Grey? No more baby making for us… the next baby I want to hold in my arms is my grandchild."

"Grandchildren? We are not old enough to be grandparents…"

"Ok, how about we have triplets… all girls who will want to date one day." Ana says with a grin and I groan.

"Fine… you win… but how about we go upstairs and get into the baby making business without actually making a baby?" I ask as my hand runs down her back.

"Now that sounds like a really good plan, Mr. Grey."

Ana – Two years later

"Oh, I'm so nervous, can you believe we are going to hold our first grandbaby soon?" I whisper to Christian while we are sitting in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for Lisa to give birth to our first grandchild.

"Why are you nervous… this time we don't have to raise the child… we get to do all the fun stuff."

"I know, that's why I'm so excited… if it's a girl, I can take her to Spa days and tea parties… we can bake cookies and…"

"… and I don't have to deal with her dating." Christian says and I snort.

"Be serious, Christian, you will be the grandpa from hell when she starts to date… well that is if it is a girl… you never had a problem with our boys dating." I say and recall the fight we had when I overheard him tell Liam just do it if he felt like it, when my boy was just sixteen years old. Had I told one of our girls the same thing he would have lost it… not that I would have ever done that… but still, it's a double standard.

"I suppose you are right."

"And I know I am." I reply with a wink and he smiles. He has changed so much from the man I first met all those years ago… but his overprotectiveness will never go away… and it is one of the things I love about him. Yes, from time to time, I wanted to strangle him over it, but in the end I always understood his reasons… his overprotectiveness comes from a place of love, which is why I have learned to love it. It is his way of showing how much he cares and because we don't live in a perfect world it is also comforting to know that my husband will do whatever it takes to keep our family save.

"I still can't believe it's really happening." I murmur and he smiles at me. I love being a mother, but I have always dreamed of this day where I would become a grandmother. I hope I can be as good of a grandma as my mother and Grace. Watching both of them with my children was what made me look forward to this moment myself and I'm so glad they are both still with us to meet there first great-grandchild and hopefully many more to come. We sadly lost Carrick last year, which has been a shock to the entire family. He was healthy as a horse but one night shortly after Easter last year he just passed away in his sleep. For the first few weeks after his passing Grace lived with us, but then she went back home, because she says it is where she feels closest to him. Just thinking about losing Christian one day is so painful that I don't even allow my thoughts to go there. Instead Carrick's passing showed us all that we need to celebrate life even more and live every day to the fullest.

Looking around the waiting room, filled with our family, I feel very blessed. To think that once upon on a time I was just an only child with divorced parents and now I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt and soon grandmother fills me with so much joy.

Just as this thought comes to me I look at Grace and we share a smile. She is so strong, still caring and trying to stay so positive, even after losing the love of her life. Getting up, I sit down next to her and smile.

"It's been almost ten months today… isn't it extraordinary to think that the second Carry's life ended a new life has been created." She says and I smile as I take her hand in mine.

"It is."

"I can still feel him, you know. He hasn't left me… I do believe that he is still with us watching over us." She says and just then Liam walks into the room.

"Everyone, I would like you all to meet the newest addition to the Grey family… Carrick Jonathan Grey."

I gasp, I had no idea Liam was going to name his son after his grandfather… and as it is my turn to hold my first grandchild, I smile. It is true, there is a new beginning in every end…

 _ **Thank you all so much for reading, reviewing and most of all for being patient with me, even as my updates started to take forever.**_

 _ **For those of you following Seduction and Broken, I am currently re-reading Seduction and will write the remaining three or four chapters in the next couple of weeks, so if you want to, start re-reading it. After that I'll finish Broken, so my guess is that both stories will be finished in late March or early April. Once all my stories are finished, I have a new story, which as always will have lots of drama and heartbreak, but I'll wait to post that until I have it finished, so finally I can just post and not slow down half way through it ;-)**_

 _ **Sunnyxxx**_


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